Ok, so I've known this guy for about 3 months now, and we have just starting hanging out as more than friends the past couple weeks. He already says he loves me (not sure if he means he LOVES me, or if he loves me like a friend and maybe more). But we are both just getting out of long-term relationships and I know that I'm not ready for another long-term. I really love spending time with him and everything, but I'm afraid that he's going to get too attached. We have been completely honest with each other and have agreed that this isn't going to work out in the long run but we can still be together right now, but I don't know if I can take the chance of hurting him. He's been hurt by so many people in the past. Should I keep going as more than friends or should we slow it down for a little while? Also, I don't know if he really means he loves me or if this is just a stupid thing that guys say to try to get you to have sex... HELP!?!?!?!
2007-04-04 05:10:14 · 15 answers · asked by Chiquita 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm 20... and we have both already discussed that this isn't going to last, its just for fun. I'm just worried that we both say it, but he's hoping that I'll change my mind down the road.
2007-04-04 05:29:06 · update #1
everyone gets hurt ..it's not your "fault' that he starts telling you how he "feels" after 3 months..."yeah, right, maybe not" is what I'd say to him...then a little laugh..(too late maybe but he may say it again?)
You already stated you dont want another LTR now..stick with YOUR decision and know it's your choice and decision...you might just be glad you did...
you know he can't possibly love you after 3 months bc he doesn't even know the real you yet and you dont either. It takes years to get to actually know ourselves not to mention getting to know others well. I bet your parents dont even know you that well and they have known you all your life. So I think you're beginng to understand what is being said here.
If he gets hurt, then too bad, you didn't make him say or do anything, right?
This is simply rebound "feeling", dont put or read too much into it...
You guys need to slow way down and back way up in my opinion or you're both gonna be more hurt than you think maybe..
again, someone always gets a little hurt in some way. It's the human condition.
The last line always correct..never forget it..
aleways go with your instincts and dont think too much...
good luck
2007-04-04 05:22:43 · answer #1 · answered by Gary G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him reboound relationships do not last and he needs to back off or the friendship is going no where.
Three months is a little too short a time to know a person, besides he might do this with every girl he meets.. certainly don't have a personal relationship with him if he is out for freebies. Personally if a guy gets that intense I would change my phone number!
2007-04-04 12:15:38 · answer #2 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try slowing it down for awhile and see where that takes u and if things go right then when your both ready try taking a step forward from being just friends im kinda in a situation like this too but the guy lives in another state and hes known me since sometime last year he tells me that he would do anything to have a gf like me and he says he really really likes me he also tells me he isnt the kinda guy who gets into something like that for sex be careful though and good luck
2007-04-04 12:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by Southern Princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should slow down a while with him because my ex-bf was the same. He kept saying that he loved me but sometimes i thought it was too much to handle, yet we continued being more than friends. You should just have a time out and do your own stuff for a while, he should respect that. So I dont think he'll be hurt because he needs to understand how this relationship is affecting you deeply. So tell him of taking consideration of it.
2007-04-04 12:16:29 · answer #4 · answered by moonlightmiles21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants more then you do. Time to stop seeing him and spending time with other friends. I had to do this with 2 different guys. I told them I was not going to see them anymore or speak with them anymore as I did not want a relationship with them and the only way they would meet someone else would be if their crutch (me) was taken away from them. Both of them are now happily married and are still my friends. Didn't talk to either one for a year or more, though, when I cut the ties.
Do this if you are seriously not wanting to hurt this guy and want him as a friend later in life.
2007-04-04 12:17:33 · answer #5 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should keep it on a friend thing only because you said your just getting out of a long term relationship. i cant answer weather he is saying he loves you to get in your pants that's where your womanly instinct should kick in. so think long and hard before you do anything
2007-04-04 12:16:05 · answer #6 · answered by CHERISH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
break off your relationship with him.
if you're not going to love him, then he has no reason to stay with you as more than friends or anything more.
since you said it's not going to work out in the end, then let him go. he doesnt deserve to be taken for a fool and have his feelings crushed.
2007-04-04 12:14:14 · answer #7 · answered by John Redcorn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you?
I think that makes a difference. I really don't think anyone knows if they are in love within 3 months.
2007-04-04 12:20:33 · answer #8 · answered by David Mudkips 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people move fast and wear their emotions on their sleeves. I would let time continue to move along and see where this goes, before making any long term commitments.
2007-04-04 12:12:58 · answer #9 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you just say you are not ready for anything seriose right now you just want to be friends or keep on dating
2007-04-04 12:13:07 · answer #10 · answered by Laugh Love Learn Live 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋