Christians: Would you spank your child?

Question

I'm a Christian mother and have previously been very against spanking. Now, after revisiting some scriptures about spanking in an article by John MacArthur (a VERY good source), I'm not sure.

I'm still leaning toward not spanking, thinking that "the rod" is not in reference to actual spanking, but more a representation of firm-handed discipline. What do you think?

here's the article: http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/

Answer 1

I think limiting spanking for only WILLFUL disobedience is the answer.

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.
Instruction is how to get them to understand fully.
When they are acting inappropriately, redirect their activities so they have something to do. Bored children will be mischievous, as will unsupervised ones.

Only when a child willfully disobeys did I ever spank my children. My son I spanked 5 times, my daughter once. My son has a good job, and my daughter has a full scholarship at UT Dallas. Spanking did not "damage" them.

http://truthortradition.com/


EDIT: I see the word "discipline" used here. I never told my children that punishment was "discipline". I always used the word punishment. Discipline is a positive word that we want to teach our kids. We are supposed to be "disciples", aren't we? That means "disciplined ones", not "punished ones". Teach a child discipline. Punish them when they misbehave.

Answer 2

I do not like to spank. It is not as effective as other punitive measures. Also, it is too easy to hit too hard in a moment of frustration or anger. Punishment for wrongdoing should not be done out of anger, but for teaching the child a proper way to behave so that they will apply the lesson(s) through out the span of their lifetime.

Have I spanked my child? Yes. Only once, and it was just a little pat on the bottom. However, there was something about that that caused her to realize that she was wrong. Now, all I have to do is count, and most them time threaten to count to three, and she corrects herself. If she does not ( and this has not happened yet) then we put her in the time out chair. I hate that, because I remember what it was like when I was a child. But, if we don't discipline our children then the law probably will when they are older. It is our responsibility to ensure that they are good citizens. Discipline mixed with a whole lot of love is the way to do just that.

With that being said, we must know our children. What is effective with one is not always effective with another. Spanking - though not uncondemned in the Bible is not the best way to go, in my opinion.

Of course, you've got the whole "stone a rebellious son" in the Old Testament. However, that rebellion was not just the occasional refusal to clean the room or talking back. The context would imply that there was going to be a greater crime committed if something was not done - and it was to be the very last measure, not the first.

Answer 3

I do not think it's wrong to spank your children as an ultimate consequence. It should never be the first thing you do and it should never be done when you are not in control of your emotions.

But, I do think spanking has its benefits. Our society is so extreme the other way, and I have to say I don't think kids are better for it. We have more selfish, bratty, insolent kids/teens then we ever did before. Many do not respect adults or authority. When I was a kid, the school principal could spank you...believe me that was quite a deterrent to misbehaving. I was as good as gold!

Society will site you that violence leads to violence, proved by the violent criminals of our society being raised in violent abusive homes. This may be true, but believe me their only problem wasn't being spanked for some disobedience. They were being raised in immoral, unloving, hostile, and violent environments. Not a loving home with involved parents who occasionally spanked them when they were really out of line. You have to see that spanking can be done in love and children can understand that.

But behind the issue of spanking is "consequences for actions" all kids need to learn this. If Mommy and Daddy say no, and they do it anyway, the consequences have to be there. You have to be consistent. If, your discipline is working without spanking...continue...but if not, you may need to escalate.

I maybe swatted my children a few times when they were little. The main thing was, that when they acted up and I told them to settle down or told them no...they knew I'd follow through...so they listened. I didn't need to spank them because they knew I would! If that makes sense!

Answer 4

I have read many articles on both sides of the issue. As you are aware there are many things to think about including hand or paddle. I once read the argument that hands are for loving so you should never use your hand to strike a child. Plus having to leave the room and get the paddle gives you time to make sure you are not reacting in anger. You have to figure our what works for you and your family. I follow the will full disobedience. One thing I have taken to heart is make sure I clearly define the expectations for my kids. I always give a warning and a chance to obey. I don't only use spankings. I use time-out. Takings toys away. Talking (though I don't know why) I try to make the punishment fit the crime.

Answer 5

I don't believe in excessive spanking. But, especially when dealing with young children, there are times when they can't be reasoned with every time they misbehave. I believe a sharp smack on the bottom gets their attention, followed up by a quick discussion on why they were spanked.

The flaw in the "no spanking" camp is that children are little adults in their reasoning. However, most have sketchy understanding of concepts such as danger or consideration for others or appropriate behavior. Talk as much as you like, but they're just not going to get it. However, avoiding a spanking is something they'll understand immediately and modify their behavior accordingly. Later on, they can understand the reasons.

I have three well-behaved kids, 12, 10, and 8. I haven't had to spank any of them in years.

Answer 6

I am a very firm believer in spanking. I was spanked and I turned out to be a preacher of the gospel. I spanked both of my children, my son is preparing for full time ministry and my daughter is totally on fire for Jesus also.
The thing where many go wrong is they spank out of anger or frustration, and they do not let their children know the love them before and after they discipline them.

Answer 7

Actually, the 'rod' is not the only reference in Scripture regarding child rearing. Spanking is indeed an important tool given to us by God, although it is far from the only one! Unfortunately, the United States Government, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that it is smarter than God, and has prohibited Biblical spankings in violation of the First Amendment. Yet somehow, the ACLU couldn't be bothered raising a finger to help my family. Go figure.

Answer 8

I think firm-handed discipline works - but only for some children. You have to keep in mind though that all children are different and have different personalities.

Personally, I would spank my children cause I grew up with spankings, and they seem to have worked just fine. I also grew up with groundings and taking away of privileges, and they worked just fine as well.

So, again, it depends on the child and how determined they are to rebel. If taking things away does not work, go further with the discipline. I say there is nothing wrong with using a literal "rod" (or hand for popping) of spanking.

Answer 9

The rod did not literally mean physical punishment; it represented firm loving discipline by parents. However, what becomes necessary to implement this discipline varies from child 2 child. I believe some children will only understand that they've done wrong and are not 2 do it again if they are made to feel a small amount of pain (ie spanked). Some children are simple and only need 2 B looked @ sternly or spoken 2 in a certain tone of voice to get the point.

It really all depends on the child.

Answer 10

I believe "the rod" refered to in scripture is just that. There are many scriptures in Proverbs and the Word that are symbolic in nature but that is not one of them.
I was spanked and have no emotional scars because it was done in a spirit of love, humility and honesty. Those are important qualities one needs to have present when administering the rod. Spanking in anger or rage is abusive, not spanking in love and honesty.
If you love your kid(s), spank them! A little pain during their formative years will save them from a lifetime of severe pain both to themselves and others in their adult years!