I'm still in love with my 1st boyfriend after the fact he broke my heart,its been 1 year should I move on?

Question

I cannot stop thinking about him and I want to work things out with him even though he cheated on me. He was my first and only boyfriend, first kiss , and my first sex partner. Every time I think I'm over him he calls or write me and I start getting those deep feelings for him again, I dream about him alot, I want to be with him again but I don't want to get hurt again. He apologized for his mistakes and informed me that he is still in love with me . He tells me he does not have a girlfriend , should I trust him again or should I move on...why do I still have these strong feelings for him even though he did me so wrong. He cheated on me 3 times and I just kept forgiving him,and he also left me heart-broken for a year.... my family and friends tell me I am very attractive and get a lot of attention from guys, and that i should move on. I need advice because I am 21 years old and I don't have much experience in dating

Answer 1

You need to move on. Ignore him when he calls or writes to you. He cheated on you 3 times and in my opinion, that is 3 times too many. He will never stop cheating and you will never stop wondering if he is.

You are young and need to get out there and have some fun!

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Your son should be your first priority, not your dating. As a past DHS worker I have seen too many children harmed because mommy or daddy doesn't want to be lonely (2nd reason is for child to have another parent). You should ONLY date someone who is willing to love someone else's child and is not looking to get married. Also, you should not date someone who doesn't want kids. If you think they are going to change their mind, you are too immature to even date. You and the young man should be willing to accept each other as is or no second date. Don't let emotions get involved and NEVER, NEVER, NEVER introduce the child to your dates unless they have the intention of meeting this one for permanent reasons and wedding is in the future. Children get attached sometimes more easily than the adult and if it's hard on you to break up it can and usually is on them. They even turn on the parent and blame them. Young children only get confused. I even had a brother who's ex had gone thru so many men 4 boyfriends/2 other husbands that even with other people telling my nephew differently, he didn't understand what or who "daddy" was until he was 11. My brother didn't help matters any either. It is better for the child to have 1 steady dependable and without surprises single parent than a guessing game. If the child's other parent is in their life, wonderful!. Keep their life simple. Don't make them handle your complex issues. Remember, if the relationship fails, it's their eyes and smiles that you will need to keep you smiling. That won't leave when the going gets rough if they're always first.

Answer 3

Girl I'm the same way, I'm 19 and don't have much experience with dating, even tho like you, people tell me I'm very pretty all the time. The problem I think is that YOU don't believe it. I dealt with this guy for 3 months and he cheated on me the whole time and I let him because I cared for him so much. You are still young and you have the rest of your life to date so you need to cut him loose because he's not worth it. Ask yourself what is it that you have to gain from the relationship? Would you rather stay with someone that hurts you, or find somebody that will love and appreciate you? Surely I can tell you that you're not going to let him go until YOU come to the realization that he's no good and you're tired of being hurt by him. Be confident and believe in yourself enough to know that you deserve so much better, because you do.

Answer 4

you know what, i'm so glad i found your question cuz i'm 21 as well and was in the exact same situation a while ago. i was with this guy from the time i was 15 and we dated for 3years. everything seemed so perfect cuz he was so sweet and all that other bull@!*?. but then he cheated on me and a forgave him just like you did. a while after that we broke up because HE dumped ME, and when he came back saying he was sorry...guess what?...i took him back. problem was that he knew he had a hold on me and every time i thought i was over him he'd call and i'd be ryt back where i started and didn't wanna be. he was my first as well. my best advice to you's that i think you need to forget him. take time out from him and really realise how rotten he actually has been to you. it took me 2 and a half years to completely get over him and it was the greatest feeling to see him after that time and not being moved. this guy sounds bad for you, you deserve much better. i'm now in a steady relationship, we've been together 7months and i'm loving every single day i spend with this guy...another thing's that chances are that he'll keep trying to come back, but once you're on top of things it'll be easier to say no. you just need to keep in mind that sometimes we show people how to treat us, if you take him back after cheating 3times it reads to him that it's ok for him to do it the 4th time, since you've been forgiving him all along. people like that hardly change. just love yourself enough to not tolerate people treating you like a doormat. good luck(",)

Answer 5

I was just like you. My ex fiance didn't cheat on me but just treated me poorly, verbally abused me. He was my first everything. After 3 yrs. one day he suddenly said, I dont love you, I'm leaving you. I was obsessed with him and cryed constantly and wanted him back so bad. After depression meds and help from family and friends, I got over him as I should have. He was no good, not worth thinking about for one more second. Now, 3 yrs later, I have one my true love, and I'm marrying him this year. If my ex wouldnt have left me, I never would have been looking for someone else and never would have me this perfect gentle man I have now.

I think everything happens for a reason, though you may not see the reason yet or for a long time. One day it will click and you'll realize the reasons this happened.

You need to get over him. A person who treats you that bad isn't worth your efforts or one more second of your time. Cheating once is bad enough, but cheating three times is just not acceptable or right. You wil one day find the one you were meant to be with.

Answer 6

Get rid now or he'll have a hold of you.
I have been the most stupid person known to man.
This morning I actually managed to tell my ex, from nearly 4 yrs ago, we were only together for two, to get out of my life once n for all. He cheated on me with plenty of ppl and I always forgave him.
The last person he cheated on me with was 4 yrs ago, he is engaged to her now and they have a child together. He has kept me sweet since we split up (cos I caught him out) for nearly four years telling me he still loves me, can I wait for him etc. Promises me the world n every promise he makes, he breaks but I always think this time he means it or this time it'll be different. He's always asking me where I've been who I've been with etc... This WILL happen to you and believe your self esteem will be crushed you will lose confidence and you will become a slave to him n be dictated to. I am 31 yrs old and I am not gonna leave this man rule my life any more... If you go back with this cheater it will happen again and then u'll start ignoring his cheating cos u really do want to be with him etc... No more excuses - get out while u can. U r young free n single - the world is your oyster - take it with both hands and lap it up.
Good luck hun.

Answer 7

Believe it or not you will look back at this and think why. You need to get out with some friends and talk and have fun and explore more dont let him get to you like that there are plenty nice men out there to be stuck on some one that will treat you like that. I think you feel that way cause he was your first but he is not the last so hey girl your 21 now go hit up the club and have fun you are young and you will find some one that will make you feel special and treat you with respect. Listen to your family

Answer 8

Everyone deserves a second chance.

However, it's understandable that you would still be attached to him since you did lose your virginity to him...I still think about the girl that I lost mine to, even though it wasn't much of a romantic relationship.

You said he cheated on you three times...was it the same apology after every one of them? Your family has the right to be concerned: they've seen him apologize before but with no change.

If you do decide to give him a chance one more time, be up front and firm that one more infidelity on his behalf, and there will be NO chance of anything working again. After three times, he should know better.

If not, your family and friends are right: you are very attractive, and there are plenty of guys who would love to be with you, and not someone else three times.

Answer 9

Unfortunately many females become attached to their first sex partner and develop this idea that they "love" him. It's probably because of some guilty feelings about losing their virginity, I don't know. But I don't think you really love him and it should be perfectly clear that he definitely doesn't love you. He loves sex...with whomever.
Move on. There is no use crying over spilled milk. Find a real man who can be faithful and honest. Kick this guy to the curb and get him out of your head. There are better fish in the sea.

Answer 10

A YEAR? Wow, that's a long time. I'm sorry, you just need to get out there and get over it. Maybe you would benefit from some counciling because seriously 1 year is way to long to get over someone. I think there's more to it that what we're reading, or you have other issues that make it so you can't let go of him for some reason. Trust him again? No, it's over.