How do I get my girlfriend to deal with my sons mother.?

Question

I have been in a relationship for 7 months now. The best relationship that either of us have ever been in.We are totally in love and want to get married 1 day. The problem is I have a 1 year old son. My girlfriend hates my sons mother. She says we have a "bond" that will always be there and now she cant deal with it. She said at first she didnt mind, but the more serious we are getting the worse her feelings are getting toward mom and my son. Is this normal? What can I do to assure her that things will work out. Me and my sons mother have a good relationship and I'm a great dad so I'm not stepping out of his life. I just dont want to loose the best girl I've ever had.

Answer 1

She should be able to understand that your son's mother will always be in your life because she is the mother of your son. She should be able to cope with that or get out of your life. You have a right to be happy and if she's not willing to handle the relationship between you and your son's mother then too bad. Good Luck and It's good to hear you have a great relationship with your son, keep it like that. Don't ever change that for any woman.

Answer 2

Hmm...ok, here's the best thing to do. Sit down with your girlfriend and talk about it. Don't be confrontational, that will make things worse and she'll fee resentment towards you. Just ask about her views on things and why she feels the way she does. Is it fear she'll lose you? Is she insecure? These are both very legitimate questions. Something like this may work: "I know there's so much animosity between you and her, what can WE (meaning you and your girlfriend) can we do to help this?" Then let her talk. Even if somethings that she says you want to roll your eyes at or think are ridiculous, DON'T. Acknowledge what she has to say and help put things into perspective. Explain things to her that it's important for your son for his parents to get along. I bet that since you've become more serious, she's feeling more insecure that she may loose you (to anything) or that maybe she feels like the mom still has "control" over your guys situation. Prove to her that the mom does not. I've already been through things like this, so I'm giving you plenty of avenues of how she might be feeling.

Now, if you go through all of these things and it still doesn't help, then she'll either have to grow up a bit and get over things, or always be on the defensive side and be miserable.

Answer 3

This isn't a question of whether the girls will get along. If your current girlfriend is that closed-minded, they won't. Ever.

She's JEALOUS of the bond you have with your son, not his mother. She's bringing up the past relationship for that reason, and that reason alone. Of course you have to respect and be friends with his mother, what kind of example would you set by abandoning them both?

Make the MAN's decision. Don't be a cop-out loser deadbeat, be a DAD. This chick sounds like poison. Jealousy breeds malice and pain. And that's really all there is to it. If she's worth her salt, she'll understand when you tell her that jealousy is totally unacceptable. A relationship without trust is crap, not worth keeping around. Stand up for yourself, you're not cheating on her. You shouldn't belittle yourself by defending this family relationship.

Answer 4

I think all three of you need to sit down and talk about what is going on. If she feels uncomfortable about your sons mother then take her with you when you go pick up your son so she can see that there is nothing going on between the two of you. I think that is why she is so jealous and worried. But you have to understand. Take a step back and think if the shoe were on the other foot how would you feel. Would you feel uncomfortable about the relationship between her and her baby's daddy? If she does not have kids then you have to realize she has no idea what that entails.

Answer 5

It's jealousy. Your current girlfriend wants to be the only woman in your life, but she's not, and won't be because you had a child with this other woman. She's got no reason to be upset with your son. It's really up to her whether or not she can "Woman Up" (yea I stole the phrase) and put her jealousy aside so that it won't effect her relationship with you or not. If it's too big of a deal to her, she may peace out. Do you really want to be with someone who can't be with you, warts and all? Just talk to her about it, and ensure her that she's it for you, and that you think she'll make a great stepmom for your son.

Answer 6

Maturity plays a large role when dealing with the new girlfriend, the old girlfriend who will always be connected to you because of a child...I would like to commend you sir if you are taking care of your one child and continuing to maintain a friendly healthy relationship with your child's mother...however what are the limits with your child's mother...is she calling you at all hours to talk about issues other than your child...do you spend long hours alone with your child's mother...does she visit often...there is lot of questions to consider...your girlfriend maybe feels left out at times....mostly it is going to take a joint effort on all parties for everyone to feel secure....
The mother or your child and your girlfriend need to voice their issues to each other and work out a plan together to focus on becoming the step family you want them to be....Most importantly family is first and as long as that remains in tact it should all just work out swell....Boundaries are important

Answer 7

i married a man with a horrible ex wife, i dont deal with her unless i have to. If ur girlfriend is not good with your son, then she should be kicked to the curb, i'm sure your son means more than she does to you. As for the mom, you should not make your girlfriend deal with her. nothing is worse than seeing the women that your man once was inlove with. It hurts!

Answer 8

Tell your girlfriend that her jealousy in entirely unbecoming and immature. If she expects you to cut ties with your sons mother then kick her *** to the curb..now! If you didnt want to be with HER then you wouldnt be. She needs to grow up. Additionally, you can try to get them into a threesome and show them both you can handle two like a champ.

Answer 9

your girlfriend is being childish if you show no signs of having a improper relationship with your son mother she'll have to deal with it just don't spend any late nights by you child mom

Answer 10

This woman sounds like the fatal attraction type. For the sake of your son, I suggest you consider dumping her and finding a more sane girlfriend!