my boyfriend and i are currently ring shopping for an engagement ring, and have been keeping it on the down low, but his brother has just come back from his holiday to announce he has proposed to his girlfriend.
what do we do, should we hold of for a while or go ahead and announce it, i dont wnat to seem like a ***** and be stealing their thunder or anything but it's just that we have been waiting for a year to be able to afford to do it and now that we can they have gotten in there first.
what do we do for the best? and how long should we leave it before announcing, we were going to be announcing within the next few weeks ourselves.....
2007-04-04 02:23:18 · 34 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
we all get along great, they are not a close family but everyone gets on well with one another and sees eachother every so often.
they are quite a laid back family, however i dont know quite how the girlfriend would take it, i dont know her well enough yet.
2007-04-04 02:33:08 · update #1
ok the latest is, last night i was speaking to my future mother in law, (was my birthday yesterday so had to do the rounds) anyway, was asking about the brother announcing his engagement and my 'fiance' shouted (jokingly) they stole our thunder, well you could have knocked me down with a feather because my mum was also in the room, so now both the mums know we have been planning it.
so should we just go ahead as planned, now that peaople know we had ours planned already? will be two weeks away before the annoucement?
2007-04-04 21:07:40 · update #2
How well do you get along with your future SIL and what is the family dynamic like?
There's the potential for a lot of sticky situations in the coming months as you both plan weddings, so my advice would be to maybe ask them out to dinner as a couple and talk to them about their ideas and yours and work out how you're both comfortable doing things so nobody's toes get stepped on.
I know you've been waiting, but think how you'd feel if they came along right after you did and announced their engagement. A small amount of consideration and kindness on your part can save YEARS of frustration and resentment. However, they may not care and may be excited to have you announce yours, which is why I think talking to them is a good idea.
I still say take them out to dinner and talk to them about the situation. Who knows? It may bring your guys closer together, especially you and your future SIL. You don't have to plan everything together, but developing a relationship with her will allow you to share ideas and make sure your weddings don't conflict with each other, plus you'll be able to have someone close by to talk about wedding stuff.
2007-04-04 02:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by Silver_Stars 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the brother and his fiance FIRST. If it is ok for you to announce then go ahead. If they have a problem (make sure to pay attention to nonverbal signals-they say ok, but look pissed off), then ask if they would be ok if you waited about 1-2 months then announced. They shouldn't have a problem...they were so happy so announce thiers and they'll probably be excited that you get to go through this journey of wedding planning together.
2007-04-04 06:03:10 · answer #2 · answered by Yoyo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you wait they may think your copying them or if you do it same time they might think your wanting to be in the lime light.i would just go with your original plans unless they are selfish they should be happy for you and if this has been planned it wont be a shock if it is so what its about your happiness to they like it or lump it.after a week things will be forgotten and you can plan together.just tell your parents now dont wait as they will see something is wrong by your reaction and plus this should be an exciting time for you to..go for it girl.xx good luck.xx go buy a cheap fake ring if want intill the pefect ones ready as you want to have something on your finger,maybe a silver no one would no.x
2007-04-04 11:26:35 · answer #3 · answered by easty90210 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should, there is no reason to put off your engagement because someone else in the family is announcing theirs. You or them may not be planning this to happen right away and chances are that you won't be picking the same date. You might want to let them know of what date or time you are planning to be married.
2007-04-10 07:35:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do it when you want to. As long as you aren't one of these girls that thinks only you can get engaged on a specific day or only you get married on specific day do what makes you happy. There are plenty of people that will be engaged and married the same time you will be. You've been planning it so just take the plunge. Happy planning!
2007-04-10 07:37:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't quite figure out what your question is.
It's not proper to send out printed "engagement announcements." You should tell friends and family individually, with phone calls or letters.
As long as you space it at least a few weeks separate from his brother's telling of his own engagement, it should be fine. It won't seem like you're trying to steal his attention.
Also, remember that whomever you share specific details of your wedding plans with, you should plan to invite to the wedding. You will mislead people and cause hurt feelings, if you talk all about your wedding date and plans, with someone you don't intend to invite.
2007-04-04 10:30:09 · answer #6 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello fellow Aries:) I would wait just a bit so you don't cause a bad aura, or feelings. You don't want drama right away in the families, that's not a good way to start. Good Luck and proceed with caution, but know you have a right to be happy as well:)
2007-04-11 09:03:14 · answer #7 · answered by Denise K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do it!!! if you have had it planned for a while then yes. just because someone else jumped on your parade before you then that doesnt have to change anything.
But on the other hand y didnt you do it sooner?
It can lead to maybe a bit of tension in the family but if you are all mature enough then it should all go smoothly and everyone should be happy for each other and help each other out.
goodluck
2007-04-09 04:11:10 · answer #8 · answered by viki S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I havent' read through all the other answers you recieved- but having been through the same situation--
the engagement announce it. its about you and fiance! When dates are planned for the wedding, that's when you have to remember- their wedding is about them, and yours is about you and Fiance. I was in a similar situation- Hubby's brother and gal got engaged after us, and all she could do was moan and whine how it's all about my hubby and me, leading up to our wedding and how all the pictures at our wedding were of us and not them! and jsut complaining that no one cared that they were getting married too. Wasnt the case- because the second our wedding things were done- it was all about them. for another year of planning! Good luck- just remember at the end of the day all that matters is that you are married to and in love with the one you love.
2007-04-10 08:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes but don't make the happiest time of your life become a competition may be you guys can have a double wedding.it could be a lot of fun you and sister in law can shop for your wedding dresses. while the guys shop for there tucks. this way you can have someone help you make the decisions planning a wedding is hard work.
2007-04-11 14:50:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋