at first when my girls were small they always wanted to do things with me and i never said no i always played with them or read stories to them practice there sports with them
in fact they were my best friends but since they hit 16 and 18 they just seem to want to talk and do things with there mom
i feel like im on the outside looking in. my wife works part time
so she has more contact with them i dont know what i can do
to get them be close to me again i dont know what i did that was so bad that they dont want to talk to me anymore they
treat there mom better.
2007-04-04 01:50:27 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You've not done anything. Your girls are older and there are just some girl things that you don't or can't talk to your father about. You always want your father to see you as his little girl. If they have boy problems, they don't want to come to you and have you freak out. Dad's are a lot more protective over their daughters then a mother would be. Mom was that age before and it's easier to relate to her. Your children still love you but now that they're young ladies mom plays a little bit bigger role now. Their bodies are starting to change so mom has to be the one to help with things like that. You can still do things with them, offer to take them out for lunch or dinner just the 3 of you. My sister and I take 1 day a week and go out with my father for breakfast, lunch or dinner. If you're running to the store ask them to come take the ride. There are so many things you can do with them and not feel left out or feel as if you've done something bad. My father also sends my sister and I cards in the mail because neither of us live at home, now. Even when we did, he would still send us cards in the mail or just leave them on our pillow. He would send us flowers just because or go get flowers and bring them home to us.
2007-04-04 02:01:09 · answer #1 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you did nothing wrong.....i hate to say it because i am a woman BUT it's a girl thing....your girls are at the age where proms are coming up they do their hair makeup and "girly" things and im sure they feel a bit closer to their mom right now because she's been there done that sort of thing
as long as you support them they will see how much you care
but you can always try to do something with them they like to do...go to the movies or rent a "chick flick" grab some munchies and let them stay up late on a school night.... it's always the little things that we do that matter the most, just make sure they dont have any plans and make a plan yourself for the whole family
my dad also had 2 girls and i am now closer to my dad more than ever even more than my mom we went through the same "phase"
2007-04-04 09:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by soccer_star 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're their Dad that's why. They have more in common with their Mom of course. It's the same everywhere so you aren't suffering from anything different than most fathers. Prepare yourself for them leaving the nest - it's coming fast !!
Take them out for lunch sometime.....just you & them. That will give you guys a chance to talk. Ask them their plans for the future and if you can be of any help getting them there. Can you help them find jobs if they don't have one already etc. etc. Also - take a good look at how things have been going. Have you been overly judgemental, are you the disciplinarian in the house .....
Believe it or not your relationship will improve when they mature into adults. They will come to you for advice on just about everything but the personal stuff still goes to Mom.
2007-04-04 08:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by Lucy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry I am sure the girls love you and it is nothing that you did wrong. When they are little they enjoy both parents doing things with them (little boys are the same way). Now that they are teen agers they need the female parent more involved in thier lives. Face it there are just some things that they can not talk to thier Dad's about. They need that female nuturing at this time of thier lives. If you had teenage boys instead they would be spending more time with you than their mother. They can talk to you about more, to do men things with. However, maybe you can do something to be able to spend more time with them. You could ask to go along on shopping trips with them and thier mother...go out to movies and dinner as a family, take family outings, etc.. Assure your girls that you are there for them if they need you for anything. Tell them that they can talk to you about anything. Have family meals at the table and ask them how thier day went, about friends and school. I am sure they will start talking to you if they know you are interested. As they get older they will show you that you are just as important as Mom is. Just make sure you take part in thier lives. Good luck and enjoy your children because they grow up fast.
2007-04-04 09:09:21 · answer #4 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having had 2 daughters, I think this is normal behavior. Children are constantly moving into and out of relationships with each parent- there is an evolving process going on as they mature. I love the idea I have heard of some dads having a 'date' night with each daughter a couple times of month. You go out to dinner or a movie and you show her how you want her to be treated by a man. You also have alone time with each girl and this will make them feel special. It may be hard to get tradtion going, but I think once you do, the girls will love it. I also believe you involve them in something you love to do- your enjoyment will spill over to them! You like to golf? take them out to hit balls- even if they are no good at it, just have a great time- no pressure! good luck! Also tell them you want to be close to them and ask their opinion of how to do it.
2007-04-04 08:57:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please don't take their lack of communication with you personally. They're girls and your wife is a girl too, so naturally she would be able to relate to your daughters' problems better than you as a man could. They most likely think of their mom as a "best friend". They probably talk about things that would be embarrassing to talk to you about. As your daughters get older, they'll probably be more interested in conversing with you about life in general. They're just teens right now and their priorities are different. Just hang in there and wait for them to mature a little bit.
2007-04-04 08:56:35 · answer #6 · answered by cynthiajean222 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
most likely, you did nothing wong. they're teenage girls. most won't talk about boy's,tampons and shopping with their dad's. i didn't. that's what's going on in their lives right now. believe me, when it comes time to discuss major decisions like college,moving out,buying a car or marriage,they'll come back. in the mean time why not make the first move to start a conversation. ask for their help doing something around the house or on the car. it's a perfect oportunity to talk and they learn something in the process. had my dad asked for my help with stuff instead of thinking,oh she's a girl-she can't or won't do it, we'd have gotten a lot closer,sooner. maybe they don't know how to connect with you right now.
2007-04-04 09:17:58 · answer #7 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you did nothing wrong other than not being a female.
Unfortunately during the teen years Daddy's little girl usually turns into Mom's little lady. They are just more comfortable with Mom right now.
Try not to take it personally. In a few years they will be back to adoring Daddy.
2007-04-04 09:02:06 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow that's a tough one! I'm 17 now so I'm right aournd your girls age. To start off with, you said yourslef that your wife works part time so she has more contact with them ... so that's probably a big part of your girls being closer to your wife. Perosnally .... I'm not as close to my dad, because, .. guys are well.. guys! ... Not saying that you don't understand us girls just as much, or anytihng like that, but I can pretty much say that girls relate with girls better and guys relate with guys better. You could try spending more time with your daughters, doing something that they like doing. Example, if they really like hockey, tkae them out to a hockey game. Get engaged into conversations with them. Growing up I know for me ... I've become more distant with my dad, but that's just how it is growing up. If anything... I would want my dad to be more engaged in things I do... I'm sure your daughters want you to be part of their lives, and I know your probably trying. If it's really kinda bothering you... talk to them...?? If there was ever a prob wih my dad I would want him to talk to me about ? !!.. hope that helps?! :) , Leiha
2007-04-04 09:02:18 · answer #9 · answered by Leiha K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your time will come again,plus I'm a firm believer that girls are "Daddy's Girls" and "Boys love their mommy's best" I'm the mother of 2 boys and as I've gotten older, have gotten closer to my Dad, it's a hormone thing...
2007-04-07 19:10:42 · answer #10 · answered by Dolly J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋