ok my husbands sister and her daughter has been with us for four days and Im at my limit my daughter is being humiliated by an unpleasant ,boastful child and its not being checked by my husband or her mother (his sister) we have taken them wherever they have wanted to go and my child has remained polite and well-behaved. the niece has tried to make my daughter go into the deep end of the pool even when I have have told her that shes not allowed and my little one has said that she said so too..The niece then went to the deepest end of the pool with a friend to exclude my child.PLEASE advise !personal experience would be very helpful..
2007-04-03 23:54:44 · 15 answers · asked by gadriel 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My reaction would depend on how long the visitors will be staying. If they are leaving in a few days, let it slide and try to keep a watch on your child. I they will be there longer, have your hus take your sister aside and speak with her about the situation. She isn't your child, so I wouldn't cross that line and speak to her. Let HER mother handle it. If they do not work with their child, I would speak to your husband about NOT inviting them back.
That said, to an extent, let the girls work it out. Teach your child to not LET this girl bully her.
Also, as far as the exclusion goes, this is something she will experience once in a while in life. Teach her how to deal with it by playing alone or finding something else to do. The 9 year old IS on vacation and is not obligated to hang out with your child.
Try not to get too worked up over this. I know it is hard. Remember, your daughter is watching how you deal with this and learning from YOU how to deal and behave. Teach her to walk with dignity and grace.
2007-04-04 01:10:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the 9 year old niece has a few issues and may even be jealous of your daughter.
Is your nieces father still in the picture?
Sometimes kids who feel inadequate, turn there anger towards children that have what they want, in an attempt to make themselves feel better.
I wouldn't cause a scene. It's not worth upsetting your sister in-law over, who will only think that your child is a spoilt brat.
Try to control your anger by also trying to understand why this child is the way she is. She might need help.
2007-04-04 08:01:59 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear - not an easy thing to deal with. Only comparison I have, is just had friend and her boys (all 3 of them) to stay for a week - not easy - but we layed down the ground rules as soon as we all got together. thankfully we are pretty much on the same wave length and do appreciate that friendships are easier to work with than families. I would go down the road of whilst in under my roof.......
I know my oldest son found it hard having to share his room and not having the same freedom having someone else albeit older than him relying on him.
As I say, not the same - but you have to defend your child. Have a chat with your sister-in-law and suggest laying down a few ground rules - for safety etc etc.
Good Luck.
2007-04-05 18:58:57 · answer #3 · answered by lynn a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that he is being unfair to his own child by not asking his sister to correct her child. Tell him that if this child continues to mistreat your child, you will have to ask his sister to leave. Don't take "no" for an answer. You and your husband are there to protect you child. The child should not be put in this position without someone on her side.
2007-04-04 07:03:45 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to speak with his sister. They are a guest in YOUr house and this is not right that your daughter has to tolerate this. If he refuses to do this then you need to tell the niece you have rules that your daughter must follow and let her know that her behavior is unexceptable in your home. Tell her the verbal abuse must stop and she wont like it if yourdaughter did this to her and this is not how family treat each other. she seems to be a spoiled brat.
2007-04-04 06:59:31 · answer #5 · answered by bbinqueens33 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi
Had the same thing with an older niece - took the approach of creating situations in order to let her dig a dirty big hole for herself - after 2+ years of close contact and putting up with her rudeness to my children and then to me, I now totally ignore her and play her at her game. I have informed family and grandmother, I will continue this course of action, until she gets some manners - have never seen s-in-law since so its a win-win situation.
Take the creature to one side and point out to her that the airport is down the road, and how embarrassed her mum will feel having to leave because of her actions. Take a stern approach, when having spoken to her speak to her mum, avoid your husband, as he will probably take her side. Tell mum that behaviour is unacceptable, be prepared go with a list of problems, not ones from your child but from you have seen. Ask her sympathertically if there is any help needed - honestly, she will die with embarrassment.
And if it goes wrong, tell your husband to make flight arrangements for them to go back - its your house and you are fed up with the behaviour - if he hasn't noticed, book him in with opticians and audiology.
PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!!
Good Luck
L
2007-04-04 07:16:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
bullies are cowards....this girl MUST be told that it has to stop, she may be bullying other kids at school too so that should be looked in to...she is not only bullying your child...she is disrespecting you in your home...get her parents and tell them that this has to stop now or they can leave.....you told your child that she is not to go to the deep end and she didn't but if this little brat keeps bullying her, then you must het this kid and give her a good telling off...or ask your husbands sister to control her kid.....or better still have her stay in a hotel so she does not bully your child any more
2007-04-04 09:09:28 · answer #7 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When it next happens and in front of her parents Tell the child in no uncertain terms that this attitude will not be accepted and that she had better pull her socks up. She is a visitor and is resepcted as she must respect others or she will nto welcome again.
2007-04-04 06:58:13 · answer #8 · answered by London Girl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dangle her off the heli-pad of the Burj .. that should giver her a little fright !!
2007-04-06 13:24:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your are the one with the problem. Do not get so worked-up, children will learn from these sorts of experiences. Give them some slack but still be firm if there is danger involved.
2007-04-04 07:00:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋