ok my step daughter, has only just spoken to me and she used to say she loved me and wanted to talk to me but since her dad told her that i will become her mum oneday she doesn't want to talk. she is only 5 but is this normal. some help please
2007-04-03 23:42:48 · 9 answers · asked by cleo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
let her know that you aren't going to be her mom. you can never be her mom but, you would like to be there for her. and she doesn't have to call you mom she can call you whatever your name is. My dad was divorced and he made us call her mom and we HATED that. She was a real nice lady but the fact that we had to call her mom just shut us down to her even being there.
2007-04-03 23:50:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure u never says bad thing about her real mother, let her know that u r not replacing her mom's position as the 1 who gave birth. U r just becoming someone who will also love her unconditionally, like her dad & her real mom.
This child just so afraid of Changes that will occur.
Tips 4 raising a child (4 vital phases);
Phase 1 (age 0-7) : PLAY with them.
Phase 2 (age 8-13) : DICIPLINE them firmly.
Phase 3 (age 14-21) : BECOME their closest & bestfriends.
Phase 4 (age 21 & above) : TREAT them AS AN ADULT.
so....play with her. If she just hate u, don't keep in ur heart. Be open-minded as times goes by will show if u r really a good woman to ur step daughter.
2007-04-03 23:58:48 · answer #2 · answered by elmo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her dad needs to recant that statement first off. Since he is the one that put you at odds, then he'll have to fix the mess. The problem is that her daddy told her that someone was going to replace her mom. That's not nice.
She needs to understand that you are her step-mom, not her mom. And although she won't understand what that means for some years, she already knows what a mother is and it gets a little confusing to say that you can discard her to be replaced with someone else. As time goes on she'll define what a step-mom is by what she sees in you.
You don't have to be very explicit for kids to get pretty confused. They certainly think things out for themselves, even if they haven't the ability to verbalize things yet.
2007-04-04 00:05:13 · answer #3 · answered by Red Winged Bandit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably very confused. Tell her that when her dad marries you that you will become her 2nd mom. That her 1st mom will still be there. She probably think that something is going to happen to her mom. Reassure her that it will be good to have 2 moms and you don't want to replace the other one. At 5 we never know what is going through their minds. Just keep treating her like you did before and things will work out for all of you.
2007-04-04 00:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children can be very jealous of their parents. If the real mum is still in her life or has died, she does not want you to replace her. Rather than call yourself her new mum, you might want to use another term such as her auntie _____, mommy_____(the blanks are for your first name). Just anything different from what she calls her mum will probably make her feel better about accepting you without feeling like she is betraying or replacing her real mum.
2007-04-03 23:57:30 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to her a bout this? It may be that she feels your taking her mother's place and that she has to share daddy with you? Her life is changing and for a five year old that is scary. You need to reassure her that you will not take her mother's place and that you and her daddy love her very much and nothing will change that. Tell her she does not have to call you mom and whatever she wants to call you is fine. Reassure her of how much she is loved and wanted. Let her express how she feels honestly and help her through it.
2007-04-03 23:56:42 · answer #6 · answered by bbinqueens33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is confusing for a child of 5 to understand that she has two mums. she may feel like your trying to step in her mums shoes. take a lot of care around her and be careful what you say. she will come around but might take a little bit of time. talk to her about this and explain that you don't want to take her mum away from her.good luck
2007-04-03 23:52:25 · answer #7 · answered by louise b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i could have an coronary heart to coronary heart communicate alongside with your fiance. actually he has to place his foot down and talking along with his mom is a could. She needs to understand that her granddaughter is purposefully inflicting issues on your courting. whilst the daughter calls Nana Nana could say, honey I understand your frustration, yet i be attentive to you and your father can paintings this out. actually you're no longer her step mom and additionally you could no longer be in contact too heavily on the subject of her discipline. The grandmother needs to stay out of it and quit letting a newborn reason arguments on your place. If this is probably no longer resolved i could re-think of this marriage because of fact like it or no longer he's a equipment. ultimately, if the father isn't keen to attend to his mom, this is yet another subject that if no longer dealt with until now the marriage, will needless to say end the marriage besides.
2016-10-20 23:50:56 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats totally normal shes scared and she misses her mom reguardlees you might be her step mum but she knows her MOM is HERS she know she CAME FROM HER so yea its normal
2007-04-04 09:52:48 · answer #9 · answered by ??? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋