I was sexually abused as a child?

Question

As a child I was sexually abused for two years and have been throught my whole child hood I was verbally abused and beaten I stopped getting hit for misbehaving when i was about 16 It still happened but not as often. Now as an adult I am afraid of comitment and do not like getting to close to anybody i have comitment issues does this have any relation to the abuse?

I was only sexually abused for two years not my whole childhood.....the verbal and hiting was by my mom throught my youth the other was a relative

I tend to get really close to people then after a while I just avoid them as much as possible

Answer 1

First, let me say how sorry I am that you were subjected to the torment of abuse. To say you were sexually abused for "only two years," is to downplay the trauma of the event. I'm guessing the person who perpetrated the crime on you was someone in your family or someone close to your family. It is the worst sort of betrayal to do this to a child. And the abuse you suffered throughout your entire formative years has everything to do with why you have trouble forming attachments and why you're afraid of commitment.

Your mother physically beat you and verbally tore you down. This makes a child feel unloved and unworthy of love. An abused child feels that they're at fault for all the bad in their world, especially the abuse. In addition, a child's world is completely unpredictable when they're abused so you have trouble trusting that anything good can come in life. And sexual assault on a child is the worst form of betrayal there is. A child depends on the adults in her world to guide, educate, provide for and most of all protect her. When that trust is violated, there's a disconnect from what is "normal." These are things not easily cast off in adulthood. So of course you are experiencing relationship issues. You get so close to someone, and then you pull away because somewhere in your subconscious, the message is being broadcast that this person is going to betray you and hurt you somehow. Better to get out now, rather than wait for the pain.

I understand how all of it works because I come from an abusive environment. My father was a hideous abuser. He physically beat me and my siblings for the smallest of infractions, or just because he was in a bad mood on a particular day. He was an alcoholic. He verbally and psychologically abused us all. I remember one time he was mad at my oldest sister for some reason. As we all sat down to the dinner table, he ordered the rest of us to call her pig and other horrible names. If we didn't, then he'd beat us and send us to our rooms without dinner. That's the kind of crap he pulled on a daily basis. It took a lot of education, prayer and counseling for me to find healing...but it happened.

If you haven't already, please seek out counseling. I would recommend an MFCC (Marriage, Family, Child Counselor) because they specialize in family dynamics. May God bless you in your journey through the healing process. May you find the peace that you seek and the ability to trust again.

Answer 2

If the people/person who abused you is still alive, turn them into the police. It is never too late. Take your POWER back. They are most likely still abusing other kids. You may save someones life, being a hero is hard, but in your case it is worth it. You may also be able to sue the person in court, you need a lawyer's advice on that. Even if nothing happens to this abuser, at least your report will be registered, in case someone in the future also files one, the police could establish a pattern of behavior. The only way to get over this is to face it head long. These abusers, especially if they are relatives, count on the 'victim' to be silent out of some since of sick loyalty. Don't fall for that trap.

There may be trial cases in your country were the lawyers try to establish precedents--what I'm thinking here is that adult children can sue/turn in their parents for poor parenting, abuse, etc. Sometimes hurting the pocketbook is the only way for these scum to understand what they did is wrong.

Good luck. (Counseling can help with your commitment issues. Yes, sexual and physical abuse are key elements in people's personal problems. 95% of people in USA prisons have been physically abused as children. You may want to put off having kids of your own until these issues are dealt with satisfactorily.)

Answer 3

hey, it really bust my chops with the amount of ppl treated so wrong in this world, i'm really sorry bout your past. i was sexually abused 4 eight yrs (3-11) and then finally told ppl when i was 22, you really should go see a doctor, im now 23 and totally haven a mid-life crisis, on disability pension and not aloud to work plus i see a psychiatrists weekly but have jus started seein her. i strongly suggest you have a chat with even a close friend. you may find you'll get there without proper help, and i truely hope ya do, but from experience, you dont wanna get to where i am at. i really hope you work it out, most ppl in our sitch have major trust issues without knowing it... like me lol its a real downer ey?
remember to always smile and feel free to email me anytime, [e-mail]
without being a doctor i no heaps bout this stuff, being unemployed is real boring so i do a lot of reading =)

Answer 4

Yes. It's a subconscious thought that if you get too close to somebody and ultimately allow them to see your vulnerability, in return they would still hurt you, whether it be physical, sexual, or mental. Your fear is deep rooted from childhood and most of your teen years. You wouldn't be human if you didn't have these fears.

What you need, (like most people have already suggested) is to get counsiling. I'm afraid of you don't become at peace with this, you will never have progress with getting close to people, friendship or relationships. You deserve happiness.

Answer 5

Of course it does. Who the heck did you grow up with? The Manson family? Do the authorities know about the abuse? You need to let somebody know because these sick bastards might do same thing to somebody else and then you'll have to live with that too. You'll never feel redemption until these people pay for what they did. PUT THEM IN JAIL!

Talk it out with somebody close and just know that it wasn't your fault.

Answer 6

yes, it happened to me, the world however, wont prosecute a child, even though they will arrest 5 year olds for being disruptive in school, i think they are disruptive because of the poisons of sorcery practiced by the teacher. i think ive heard that two children this last year actually killed other children. usually when a child abuses another child it is because someone older abused them. with the gospel of jesus christ, children can be taught that such behaviour is wrong, and the child will grow up not to repeat offend.

Answer 7

First let me say how very sorry I am to hear that. Yes, I think it has everything to do with that, your so used to being hurt by people, your scared others will do the same, its normal because of what happened to you. I would suggest maybe seeing a therapist or something, it may help. I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 8

After so many years of being abused your constantly on guard I believe there is somebody out there for you that you could put down your defences and enjoy live with

Answer 9

It is a normal reaction to your childhood mishap. Now you must look forward towards the future and stop thinking of the past.
- Seek professional advice.
- Seek God's help. Pray and believe your god will lead you out of the fear.

Only you can help yourself. Others can only give you advice.

Who says you need to get marry? You can stay single if you like it.

Answer 10

im sorry to hear you had to go through this....I would understand how you would have some issues to deal with, and would hope you would go to a professional to talk out your problems. good luck to you!