How do I clean the house AND raise kids?

Question

I have a 1 yr old, a 3 yr old and a 5 yr old. I am married. husband works full time, I stay home.
I cant seem to do both housecleaning and child rearing at the same time. If I concentrate on the kids, i can only get enough of the housekeeping done to prevent the house from stinking. If i concentrate on the housekeeping, the kids are miserable and fight for attention all day long. HOW does this work for ANYBODY? What do you do? How do you and your spouse work together on it?

Wow everybody! I didnt know so many people would answer this question! 90% of you have the best answer, how do I ever choose? I'm going to let this question go to voting and keep reading all the answers til I get some clarification on what to do next. I'm definately inspired by most of your answers.
Thank you all so much!
Much Love!
~bridta

Answer 1

Queit Down Cob webs... Dust go to Sleep...I'm rocking my babies and Babies don't keep....

No one is super woman.. and anyone that believes they are... well they are steps away from a nervous break down!...

Do what you can.... Being a mom first is the important part... the 5 yr old is old enough to help with some tasks... as is the 3 yr old.. have them help... It's NEVER to early to get them involved.. the 1 yr old.. well heck they will follow you around doing what ever they see you do... ....

Good luck..and cheerish the time with your children... as long as the house is clean enough to be healthy.. and dirty enough to be happy.. don't sweat the other stuff.!

Answer 2

The most important thing is to spend good quality time with your children. Maybe you could get the two older children in an actvity? Does your local YMCA support classes? While they were in a day camp, or at a class you could have some time. Either that, or look into having the kids have a play date with a friend, and then you can do the same in return. Other than that, nap time is the only thing that worked for me! The 5 year old is getting old enough where he/she may be able to help out with some things, so maybe take advantage of that. At night, especially if by then your husband is home, you should have some time. Or also on weekends, if your husband can take the kids out even for a day trip! It's hard work!

Answer 3

I think you are stressing too much about your house and expecting too much of yourself. Take it easy on yourself. You have 3 young children and they sound very busy. Some people handle all this because they have relatives - grandmas, mums etc to help with the children. Some people have easy going kids. Don't compare yourself to others because your situation may be very different to that of your friends. I know exactly what you are talking about. I have 3 very busy boys and they are always up to mischief. If I try to get anything done - they play up and need supervision. Look at your priorities - it is better to be a good mum and play and supervise the kids than to have a clean house. Get a cleaning lady for a couple of hours a week. Do the cleaning on the weekend for a couple of hours while your husband takes the kids out somewhere. Stuff cleaning at night! I was too exhausted in the evening to do that! Relax and do what you can. This is a phase that will change when your youngest is 4 or 5 and you will have time then to get everything done. Best of luck.

Answer 4

Here's my secrets! It can be done!

I find that when the house is clean I'm not as stressed and I can be a better mom to my kids. So, I got rid of all the clutter. It's pretty hard to do at first, specially if there's a sentimental reason to hold on to stuff, but I just think about it this way... The more stuff I have the more I have to clean up. Stick to the basics!! A house automatically looks cleaner when you get rid of clutter. And who knows? you might even make a few bucks out of that if you have a yard sale!!

Do housework during your children's naps, or when they are playing in their room... 10-15 minutes of work every 2-3 hours is better than nothing all day. Don't try to do all at once. We are not Wonderwoman!!

Your 3 and 5 year olds are old enough to help. I have two boys ages 4 and 6 and they are in charge of their room. I might sound like a drill sargeant but I make them clean up their room every night before bedtime. Teaching them responsibility is also part of raising children. They might resist but eventually they will get used to it.

Another rule that involves my children is that their room is the only place where toys are allowed. Absolutely no toys in my bedroom, kitchen and specially the living room. The living room and the kitchen are the two rooms that I really do clean every day. Since they are the two rooms that people visiting get to see. That's why the no toys rule!

The rest of the rooms, bathrooms and other housework (like the dreaded laundry) gets divided during the week. A day for the laundry, another day for the rooms, another day for whatever it is you need to do! And you do need a day when you do nothing at all. That day is entirely up to you!!

I have a few "mess drawers" for all those little things or papers that I just don't know where else to put.

Your spouse should help with something. Simple as that!!

Good luck, don't kill yourself and do enjoy your children!!

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel.

I usually spend about an hour each morning making the beds, emptying out the bathroom trash bins, throwing dirty laundry into the basket and starting a load in the washing machine.

I do what I can as far as floors and carpets goes, but once a week on a Saturday or Sunday, I wash every toilet, bath, basin and floor, while my husband watches the kids.

It usually takes about 4 - 5 hours and it's one hell of a workout but if I miss one week it becomes disgusting to live in the house.

The hour I spend a day keeps the place nice and tidy, I also make good use of the Clorox wipes and disposable Scrubbing Bubbles toilet cleaners, but at least the kids know it's not too long and the time goes by very quickly.

In return we get to go to the park or swim and that's really something they look forward to.

Unfortunately, you have a one year old and that might be harder to do, mine are 2 and 5. But you could maybe schedule it around the baby's nap time and then get the 5 year old to play a game and watch the 3 year old.

My son loves being in charge and he does a great job too.

Answer 6

Been there, done that, got a dozen tee shirts! AND...I didn't have disposable diapers! I washed the crappy things and hung them to dry!

Here is a good way to keep up without being overwhelmed. Eliminate. Eliminate things you don't need, don't wear, don't want, don't use. Put up all of the toys!!!! If the kid wants to play with a toy, only take out one at the time and put it back to get another. Kids get overwhelmed too with toys. Eliminate those that are broken or that they don't like or that make noise. Eliminate participation at school or anywhere else that takes a lot of your time; or that you don't get some advantage. For instance: if you participate at church and the kids stay in the nursery, you get some free time with adults; they get to play. I'd strongly advise you to participate in SOME church activity even if you don't really want to be a "church lady" simply for the perks for the kids. Bible school, sunday school, etc. for the kids and some time away for you.

Ask your hubby to participate. ELIMINATE any one-parent-raising-the-kids thinking. He can relieve you at least one night a week. He can take out the garbage every night and help with the dishes. He can bathe the baby when he gets his shower or one of the others and they will love it.

ELIMINATE Dirty Clothes! Wash clothes EVERYDAY! That way you only have to do one maybe two small loads and you don't "save up" dirty stuff.

ELIMINATE cooking on the stove!!! No, no, no! Get a large crock pot and learn how to use it well. This will help everyone eat right and you don't have to stand over a stove all day long.

ELIMINATE large chores: like cleaning the bathroom. Just wipe it down every day. A lot easier than doing major housekeeping all at once. Give the grocrery list to hubby and he can do it coming home from work.

If you get control of your clutter and "stuff" and get on a schedule that you can feel good about, it will help you so much. And when the kids take a nap (make them take a nap) you lie down and rest so you can take good care of YOU and you'll have more to give to your family.

Godloveya.

Answer 7

Hopefully you have a sympathetic spouse who doesnt care about the mess. The children are more important so if you cannot afford a cleaning person to come in , then let the house go. When they are older they can each take on some tasks and help which will also make them more responsible. You have the hardest job but the most important so now that the weather is improving, hopefully you can go outdoors with the children and the messy house wont get to you so much. Try to savor every minute because they will grow up too fast.

Answer 8

My friend deals with this situation day after day, she only works 1 day per week and her husband works full time she has a 3 yr old and is expecting baby #2 in August. She used to clean when the little one laid down for a nap but being pregnant she also needs a nap so I would say Clean when your kids do nap and make sure they are going to bed at a reasonable time so you and your husband have a few minutes of time together without the kids and then you can clean after the kids go to bed or before they get up. I know it's a struggle! Good Luck!

Answer 9

Assuming your spouse is willing to help, you put those kids to bed at night and then you both spend half an hour to an hour cleaning then guess what - the work gets done. When you are an old lady, your children will remember what a wonderful parent you were and how much you loved them and how much attention you gave them. Do you really think they will be proud that your house was immaculate? Take a look at what is really important to you and follow that path. Don't let some picky mother-in-law or next door neighbor make you feel that your house isn't clean enough -- you're doing fine for someone with three little ones. Good luck -k-

Answer 10

Your 5 yr old is in school, your 3 yr old soon will be in pre-school. So,this problem will resolve itself. I had a 1 yr old and a 3 yr old and my house was immaculate. My mom was obsessive compulsive. If you are feeding and changing the 1 yr old you are doing good. What can you do with a 1 yr old that they can demand you do??? The 3 yr old can play alone. If you don't set some rules about play time/work time they will control the family. Imagine a Hollywood family???? The 3 and 5 yr olds can fold towels, it doesn't matter how well. This is up to you to do. Sorry I just answered your question and forgot to tell you about my experience. I stayed home til my kids were 6 and 9 both in school and I went to college. I remember things about them that daycare wouldn't give me. But, I did use daycare from time to time to study. THESE ARE YOUR MEMORIES MY DEAR, IT IS DOUBTFUL YOUR KIDS WILL REMEMBER. START JOURNALS FOR EACH ONE. I STARTED WHEN THEY WERE BABIES. FIRST FART ETC. THEY ARE BOTH MOTHERS NOW AND RECENTLY ASKED FOR THEIR JOURNALS. YOUR EXPERIENCE AS A MOM NEVER ENDS AND A HOUSE IS ONLY A DWELLING. YES, THE KITCHEN AND BATH MUST BE CLEAN. BUT, SOMEONE ABOVE HAD A GREAT ANSWER ONE I HAD AS WELL. IF SOMEONE COMES TO SEE YOU AND THE HOUSE IS A MESS ASK THEM TO HELP SO YOU TWO CAN SIT DOWN FOR TEA. GOOD LUCK LIFE CONTINUES AFTER KIDS, IT'S CALLED GRAND KIDS, I HAVE 6. DONNA

Answer 11

It works better if you clean the kids and raise the house......
Just jokiing. The whole secret is to prioritize. And to tell yourself that this, too, shall pass. Right now you are at the hardest stage of all, with an infant, a toddler and a pre-schooler. While they are this young, their age difference is too great to make them good companions for each other. But they do each need some special time with you. You likely spend special time with the five-year old while the one and three-year olds are napping, and spend special time with the younger ones while the older one is playing quietly. And that's good. I know you are tired at the end of the day, but if your husband can give the kids an hour of 'Daddy time' after dinner, while you clean up, run a couple of loads of laundry and whiz around with the vacuum, it really makes a differnce. Then, once the kids are in bed, you can have some quiet time of your own, because that is important too if you want your marriage to survive these hectic years.
Next year, when the oldest one goes to school, things will ease up a bit, especially if the middle one goes to pre-school for the morning. That will give you time enough to get your housework done, with just a two-year old to look after.
It's probably the busiest time of your life, but you will survive and you and your husband will look back and laugh in years to come.
Good luck to you!