I am planning on getting married sometime this year and my fiancee is kind of dissapointed in me. He has always envisioned this huge romantic wedding, but the way i see it,my family is WAY too dysfuntional to all be in the same room together!! I want to just go downtown and get it done at the courthouse. Am i being selfish???
2007-04-03 18:37:43 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
What a romantic guy you have there.
Formal weddings, especially in a church or chapel lend themselves to the solemn and serious vows of the ceremony. It places a wonderful memory as to your both committing to each other for a lifelong union - a joyous celebration.
Over the years I've heard numerous regrets from those who married before the judge. Yet, I have not heard a single regret from those who celebrated a church wedding, wishing they had gone to the courthouse instead.
This is a very memorable event for the both of you. Talk it over and come to a decision you can both feel good about.
Your wedding need not be large, to be formal. Why not each of you choosing, say, 10 to 20 people to invite. He chooses his and you choose yours. For that matter, let him choose all the guests if you prefer. Remember, this is his special day too! It's a day dreams are made of.
2007-04-03 19:11:27 · answer #1 · answered by Hope 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand where you are coming from! I have been planning my 350+ guest wedding and I am 'this close' ...... to just giving up and going to the courthouse. My FI always wanted a huge wedding as well and with my "close" family being over 85 people and his being at least 100 (we have BIG italian families) I couldn't do 'small and intimate'. I don't think you are being selfish at all, but you shoudl be glad that at least he is intrested in having a big to-do for the wedding. Maybe discuss it with him and see if you can reach some compromise? Does ALL your family have to be invited? Maybe you can just invite your close family (the ones who wont start trouble) and have the wedding like that. But also think, this IS one of the most important days of your life and marks your new life together and it will hopefully be your ONLY wedding....ever! Just take some time and truly think about it, I have heard some people regret not having anything but a courthouse wedding, but tis up to you. Just take some time to sleep on it and if planning a big thing is what you are worried about, hire a wedding planner, give her a budget and tell her you want nothing else to do with it, lol. But again, its up to you. (Be happy your FI is so into the wedding though!!)
Good luck!
2007-04-03 20:38:01 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not wrong to not want a wedding, but you could meet him halfway and have something extremely intimate. You could possilbly find a location that will hold less than 100 people and only invite immediate relatives, extremely close relatives that you may have, and best friends. If that doesn't work out, have a destination wedding and pretty much invite the same small group. This way they don't really have to come or they may not want to pay so much to come. These are just thoughts.
I also don't think its wrong to feel a certain way, b/c you are human and we are not perfect. It may be selfish, but not wrong. You should ask yourself if you feel selfish and if you do, try to reach a compromise because the day is for the both of you and the both of you should decide what happens and if not happy at least be at peace with the decision you make. I hope it all works out for you.
2007-04-03 18:45:08 · answer #3 · answered by kapy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't selfish. But it is his day, too. Come up with a compromise. Marty and I are getting married on the beach at the end of the year. We were going to do the courthouse thing, but agreed we could still have what we wanted in Orange Beach. All you have to do is invite your parents and siblings, his and a few close friends. That way it is still small and PRIVATE. Congratulations.
2007-04-04 02:57:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way...Even though I have family..no one would show because they hate everyone and don't want to be around each other.
I am planning on a bed and breakfest wedding. They have a beautiful garden and the weekend room comes with it including, cake, food, minister and photos.
How about something like that? Small enough for you but still a nice romantic wedding for him.
2007-04-07 15:05:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i don't think you are being selfish i think you are being practical and seeing that the day could be ruined if one of them decides to do something embarrassing, maybe you should compromise a little and have a small wedding with just real close family and friends.
2007-04-03 19:06:03 · answer #6 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You rock! But I have to question you marrying a guy who always envisioned a huge romantic wedding, that sound kinda gay to me. The courthouse is a great place to "git er done" and you can use your money for a cool trip instead of a fancy wedding.
2007-04-03 18:49:07 · answer #7 · answered by Sheriff of Yahoo! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's still your wedding if you go to the courthouse to get married. However, it is his wedding too, so the two of you have to agree. Does he know about your family and still want to be a part of it?
2007-04-04 00:22:05 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it fairly is not "incorrect" interior the sense that wedding ceremony police will lock you up. even if, it fairly is not "proper" the two. A reception is for people who attended your wedding ceremony to have the prospect to have fun your new marriage with you. So a reception formerly the marriage isn't a reception. What you're wanting is a get with your acquaintances and family members. Have a number of those close pals and family members enable you to with the arrangements, and spot what they think of pertaining to to the potluck concept. i'm specific they are going to be keen to take your concept and artwork with it. and you will have a brilliant huge occasion you choose without being cheesy.
2016-11-07 04:22:39 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no iam in the same boat with yall, i wanted the big wedding and my husband didnt because his family cant get along for 2 seconds so i decided that it was more important to me to be with him than to have a big wedding and we went downtown and i dont regret it to this day we have been together for almost 11 years now good luck
2007-04-04 03:04:10 · answer #10 · answered by atbkkj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋