Will my boyfriend ever stop trying to "push my buttons" like he does with his mommy?

Question

My boyfriend is 21. I've been with him for 2 years.

He is VERY spoiled! His dad works constantly....always going out of town, working 12+ hour shifts, etc.. to keep their family provided with more money than they need. His mom stays at home...She is the parent that he spent most of his childhood with. She is very sweet and extremely passive. She is also very sensitive, as he knows and takes advantage of at times. She gives him money every week, takes care of all of the expenses for his apartment and college education and even does some shopping for him on top of all that.

When he wants more $, he usually gets it. But if she says no, he'll make her feel bad about herself and hurt her feelings, so she'll write him a check to get him away from her. Sometimes he'll just tease her and "push her buttons" to see how she'll react, but other times he is extremely mean.

He tries to push my buttons too, but he knows that in the end I won't put up with it like his mom.

Will this continue?

I also wanted to add that he is very respectful and polite to other parents, and other adults. But sometimes he shows very little respect for authority figures (i.e. cops) or anyone trying to get in his way (if he gets carded at the gas station).

He can be such a generous and caring, lovable guy... but sometimes he is a huge jerk. He is also very sensitive, like his mother. He tends to over-analyze and worry about things, like his mother. But in certain situations, with certain people he seems very insensitive and cruel. I just don't understand it! It hurts to witness... not to mention, try to explain to him and question in my own mind....

I will also add that I was raised by a widowed-single father (who remarried a few times) in a somewhat strict, but mostly "no-nonsense" upbringing. My dad liked him at first, but after I told him about a few fights, he can't STAND him.

Answer 1

In my opinion, i think it will continue, i mean he's doing it to someone that he spent many years with, if you guys are amrried, i think he will still do it.

If you don't like it, then you should leave, obviously he isn't the one for you.

Answer 2

He is a spoiled brat, and a manipulator. Don't let him manipulate you. He is not going to change as long as he knows that he can get what he wants by doing it. If you can't stop him right now, it will definitely get worse. Do you want to remain his slave for the rest of your life? Best to move on. When a guy is mean to his mother, there are "women respect" issues. How do you think that he will treat you--worse because you are not his mother.

Answer 3

No. He will never stop doing this. His brain is permanently wired to take what he can get and manipulate the people in his life to make them give him what he wants. Getting what he wants will always be more important to him than the closeness or quality of his personal relationships.

Truth.

Answer 4

Any man who has no problem treating his mother like this is not worth having.. the biggest factor in how your relationship will be is the relationship someone has with thier family.. if hes already tring to do the same thing with you you should already have your awnser

Answer 5

My opinion is that this will not change. Most men will treat their girlfriends and wives like they treat their "Mommy".

Good luck with this one, he will be tough to change. He probably wants a passive girlfriend that is like Mommy so he can push her around. If you show him you will not put up with it you will be providing much needed therapy. Question is, do you want to play doctor?

Answer 6

You need to set some standards but it already seems like he knows not to mess with you like that. Stick to your guns girl and dont back down. He has to grow up and take responsibility sometime of his life

Answer 7

I think it will continue because that's how he grew up and since he's been doing that all his life, and obviously sees nothing wrong with it then hes not likely to change plus old habits die hard...

Answer 8

some guys are like dogs you gotta train them...you really need to make him stop treating his mom like that. he's 21 about time to grow up don't you think? if he keeps trying to push yours and you don't give in, he'll eventually catch on

Answer 9

ok that's the winner!!!! I laughed out loud so troublesome i presumed i replaced into going to die from loss of catching my breath!!!! Props and kudos to you sweetie! I purely would desire to upload you to my acquaintances, you're large!! Hugs and grins, Pami xoxox

Answer 10

Obviously he DOES know how to push your buttons because he is STILL your boyfriend. And yes it WILL continue as long as you let him push your buttons.