Would this be cheating-mature answers please?

Question

Okay heres the thing, I am living with my boyfriend of one year. We have been on rocks for about the last 4 months. Talked about it all, except for the fact I feel him more as a friend,nothing more. The lust is gone, I wish I could tell him all of this, but i dont want too hurt him..he will be very upset, he talks about our future babies. On the other hand, I am falling for my good friend, we talk about everything and the lust part I know I would have with friend if we were together. I know I am meant to be with him, but the whole problem with that is, I have not met the friend, we are online buddies, lol, sounds dumb I know but thats how it is, I have known him online for about 2 years now. But he wants to meet..So i feel under pressure, I need to make a choice, but im scared..anyone have advice or suggestions please, , thankyou

Some of you judge a person way too quick hey? that is really sad

Answer 1

Just meeting your online buddy isn't cheating as long as you commit yourself to not doing anything with him. Just talking only. When you meet him all of this attraction might fade away really quick. Online and offline are two totally different things.

You need to talk to your boyfriend, even if it hurts him. Keeping him in the dark and then randomly dumping him out of the blue is going to hurt him much more. NOT telling him the truth is in itself, lying to him. If you feel committed to the relationship then you guys need to work on reigniting the passion and lust in the relationship. I am sure he would be MORE THAN HAPPY to do this. If it still doesn't work, it's time to get out.

The question you really need to ask yourself is whether you're just not leaving your current boyfriend because you feel scared to be alone? If yes, then it's really not fair to him and you would both be better off single. It's hurtful to him to be with someone who doesn't really love him. Obviously, if he's talking about babies then he doesn't feel that there's a difference now and still feels very strongly about you.

You need to consider whether you will stay with your boyfriend or not even if things don't work out with online buddy. Men aren't items to be traded in when a newer model comes along.

Take care and good luck. Work out your issues with your relationship before meeting the online buddy. If you haven't sorted out what's going on with your boyfriend before you meet your buddy, it will make you even more confused.

Answer 2

I am going to be the LAST person to condemn an online-turned-real-life relationship. My husband and I met online.

Okay, you have GOT to make some changes. You may think you're protecting your boyfriend from being hurt, but if he's talking about future children with you, what are you going to do? Stay with him forever, but never be in a loving, happy relationship?

If you wait to tell him, you're only giving him more time to get attached, and will make it more difficult.

As difficult as breaking up is, you've got to tell him. Then you both can find what you're looking for.

If, or when, you decide to meet your online friend, here are a few tips from a girl who wasn't always too smart:

Make sure people who know you know where you are, and have a contact number. There is no way to be 100% sure about a man you meet from online. It's happened before that women go to meet a sweet online guy, and they don't return. Their biggest mistake was that people who would notice they were gone didn't know where they were headed.

The initial meeting should be in a well-lit, public place. You should have your own method of transportation.

Until you know him in real life for a while, normal dating safety still applies. NEVER leave food or drinks alone with him.

Sorry, I just had to throw that stuff in there, because it IS a good idea.

I stick firm to my advice to talk to your boyfriend -- now.

Answer 3

Yes, you need to tell him how you feel, upfront and personal, and yes sometimes a bit awkward too. As a friend he deserves your honesty, even if it doesn't involve him in the future. If you are doing things to make him think that you will be together, or in a relationship then you need to stop, you I think are comfortable being in the place you are, but want to seek others online..and yes it's cheating if you meet him, you can cover it up with the word "friends" but you are inevitably meeting for other reasons other than to be friends...does that make sense? I woulnd't expect him to say it's ok to have you live there either if you do tell him your just friends, even if he did it wouldnt work, i just went through that, i had to move out. So, just be careful how you say it, be polite, and adult and i hope that he can do the same. Good luck, i hope this helps.

Answer 4

I think u should just tell ur boyfriend that there is nothing new left in ur relationship that u would wanna have a break foe few weeks and see if u still feel anything for him or no and as for the guy that u know through internet for two yrs go ahead and meet him see if he is the one who rocks ur heart than move on why not ..

Answer 5

I see this as two separate issues. One should not influence the other, really. First, MEET the person from online. Please believe me that things are not always the same face to face as they are over the internet. You may have no chemistry with this guy whatsoever; you may not even like him.

As far as your current boyfriend goes, it sounds like you have already determined your feelings for him are not what you want them to be. You need to cut the cord now. Otherwise, though you say you don't want to hurt him, you're prolonging the pain by leading him on. He could be using this time to get over you and find the girl who is right for him. I know that sounds harsh; I'm trying to give you my advice from the heart, and from experience. Good luck.

Answer 6

if you stay with the guy u r with now then eventually u will have to break up unless you want to lead an unhappy life, well the longer u wait the more it will hurt him, if you meet this other guy just as a friend the first time then i guess it would be OK but i still wouldn't recommend that, if u don't like the guy your living with sexually then i think u should break up but then make him realize that u will still be his friend and will be there for him when he's down

Answer 7

I think you need to let your current boyfriend go. You're actually doing more harm than good by sparing his feelings. He'll get over it. As of your online buddy just be careful and follow your gut. If you feel he's the one and you have been talking for over 2 years then you need to go for it. Good luck!!!

Answer 8

A. If you don't want dude number one, tell him and quit stringing him along. No one likes to be duped and made a fool of.
B. If you are doing, saying, typing, writing, something online or in real life that you would be uncomfortable doing right in front of your partner, or that would hurt you if your partner was doing the same, then you are cheating, Period.

Answer 9

You need to tell your boyfriend.He will be hurt anyway if he found out.Its better to hear it from you sooner than later.Im going through the same thing with my fiance,but its him doing it to me.And all I can say is it hurts real bad and I wish he would have just told me about it,instead I found out about it on my own.Hope this helps you.

Answer 10

you need to sit him down and tell him how u feel about the future he is planning n which u are ditching. just dont tell him the lust is gone my damage his ego but just be straight up with him.