bereavement, when do you really get over it?

Answer 1

I had a tough year in 2001. I lost my husband expectedly, my brotherdied 18 days later,then my father passed . I actually set my husbands head stone, the day after I buried my father. I had never taken death well. All the comforts people offered did nothing for me. One of my friends simply said- there are no words- just know i am here for you. Then you discover,your the only one still grieving. everyone else has moved on. I wish I had the magic answer for you.Nothing anyone says or does for you is going to be very helpful. It helps to know I am not alone, there are othr people who take the passing of the loved one just as hard, lasts just as long, and have as much difficulity "getting over it." I shall never recover. It has gotten a little better- but not much. I never got to grieve the way i needed to. everyone kept saying to stop crying, be strong=== you get the picture.
You have to find your place and time to let go. It is more controllable now. My solice was finding another person, in the same boat that does let me cry when I need to. I am not the same. Never will be. I have met many people who also lost one family member after another. everyone deals with it in their own way. I am a private person, and usualy very strong for everyone else. It is a tough place to be. Just know you are not alone. You are not abnormal. You may need a counsler, or medication to help you through. Take care of you, and hang in there.

Answer 2

Getting over a bereavement can take a very long time, I was told it can take up to two years to get over the death of someone.

You have to remember everyone grieves at their own pace and way, nobody knows how long it can take, so people seem to lead a normal life soon after the death of a person, this doesn't mean they are over it, inside they are still grieving, it's just a front.

Also you will never forget the departed, they will always be in your mind, birthdays, Christmas, anniversary's will also have a effect on you, so grieve in your own time and way, and if you need help you can always see a councillor, to help with the grieving process, it wont stop the pain, but they will be there for you.


sorry to hear of you loss.

Answer 3

It depends. How close to you was the person who died? How long was the relationship? How big a role did the person play in your life? etc. Bereavement takes its own time and is different for everyone. Some losses remain painful on some level but the pain does ease and the thoughts of the dead person become less frequent over time.

Answer 4

it depends on a lot of things really,
who it was, what age they were how they died,

if it was some one that had lived a full long life then you can usualy get over it quicker, you can think to yourself yes they had a good life and it was there time to pass on, but if it was a young person that was in a car crash or got cancer or something else you may never really get over it, the questions will always be there that just cant be answered.
like what would they be doing now how would they look, what ifs and buts are always going to be there.

time can be a healer but if that person was very cloce and special to you there is always going to be a sence of loss you may heve to just live with it. but never try to forget the person
remember there life and be happy about that

all i can say is keep your chin up and be there for others that need you throught this time too

Answer 5

I think the answer Jonathan, is never. If it wasn't for my children, I would want to die too. The pain is terrible- almost too much to bare. I feel as though my heart has been ripped out- but what can I do? I have got to just carry on. It's hard- I hope you find a way and your grief will ease soon. Good luck

Answer 6

i don't think you do get over it: you just tend to get used o the person not being around. I lost my first love 12 years ago and i still think about him every day, although i now tend to remeber the good bits and not the sad bits, or i wonder what we would be doing. As time goes by it does get a little easier to deal with.

Answer 7

you never really get over it you just learn to try and carry on with your life

all tho many a time you will come across reminders and the feeling of sorrow will come flooding back

there is no greater healer than time but in truth time dont work
its all down to every individual how they manage to carry on with the more mundane things in life

as time passes the memories off happier times will come back
and maybe a tear of sadness unfortunately some peoples life will never be the same but maybe only maybe they are unable to accept whats happened
and my require professional help to cope with life

Answer 8

In my experience not n 13 years:( But you have to live your life despite the feelings you have. It is important to remember someone but not let it control you. If you loved this person you will never stop loving them for the rest of your life. I think of him everyday and NEVER will get over it ;( I hope this helps.

Answer 9

You never get over the death of a close relative but you do learn how to live with it.

Answer 10

If you ever do it can take a long time...(obviously it depends who you lost) but theres no set rules - its your grief deal with it how you can.

I lost my Uncle 21yrs ago, grandad 7 years ago & Dad 2 yrs ago & get VERY upset thinking about them at times.

Dont let anyone tell you how to deal with it.