there's this guy named Sam that I don't like at all. I met him in June 06, and ever since, he's been calling me off and on. I didn't even give him my phone number, his cousin did. I told him a few months ago that I didn't want a boyfriend and that I did not see a future between him and I, and he is still calling me? I just use him for beer. I know its wrong, but hey, if he allows himself to get played, then is that my problem? I've already told him how I feel. I saw him yesterday and we hung out (and drank) and I tricked him into taking me home after I got what I wanted (alcohol). I know he would've been angry with me if I told him that I wanted to go home so early, so I asked him if he wanted to go to a hotel later on...( I really didn't have any intentions on doing so). and I told him I would pay for it and everything. I told him that I would call him at five and I never did. So he called me like ten times, and then twice today, and I haven't picked up. Is he desperate?
2007-04-03 12:45:59 · 16 answers · asked by Yvette S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
first of all, any of your actions in this world, are your problem. You should make yourself responsible for everything that you do in this world; everything except accidents, unforseen events, or tragedies are your responsabilty. If you call a guy that you KNOW likes you and you drink his beer, whether you asked him to bring it or not, is really building a relationship (friendship or more than friendship). Gift exchange or offering something to someone is the most elemental and eldest way in which people have been building relationships from the beginning of history.
The problem with this guy is, that he likes you. When he kicks it with you, he thinks he is building a friendship that is going to go beyond friendship.
But you are obviously a very manipulative person. He deserves to be angry since you lied to him. He is not desperate, he simply thinks that you are into him, given what you said : took him to a hotel, etc LOL.
The lesson is this: dont use people because its not nice, and secondly, dont promise them things that they are not going to get. This is why you have to deal with this mess. Jesus christ .
2007-04-03 12:57:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are leading him on, he probably heard you when you said that you were not looking for a boyfriend, but you keep giving him the possibility of 'maybe there could be a chance for you two'. It is good that this whole situation gives you beers, but you have to choose.
(a) either continue to use him and as well get all of his extra annoying calls.
(b) or dumb all ties with him, even if it means no more beers (If he bothers you so much then it would you best of you to clip all ties with him)
Who knows, he might just get the message and stop calling you and later on in life you might find someone else less annoying to buy you beers.
If you really cannot stand him, go for (b), because if you chose (a), you just have to live with it.
2007-04-03 19:58:02 · answer #2 · answered by Eliza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you take him atleast as a friend or not, so all I could say is that maybe it's better for you to stop using him, and he'll dissapear. Why don't you try meeting new people, hang out with different friends that you do enjoy being with, because alcohol is not really a good reason why you should still be hanging around with that guy. You can still take alcohol but with different friends. Also, gather your courage, pick up the phone, and tell him that you don't really want him calling you so many times because it bothers you.
2007-04-03 19:54:53 · answer #3 · answered by Erika S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Desperate in the 5th dimension. Oh, I pity this guy so much. Even if the beer is sorta taking advantage of him, if he keeps calling the best thing to do is tell him that if he keeps calling/bothering you you'll call the cops. Doubt you will but still if you want the lunitic off your back make it clear. That his should open his mind because it seems a little empty.
2007-04-03 19:52:45 · answer #4 · answered by sweet silence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you put yourself in this situation. You said you use him for beer, you said you hung out with him...and that you'll call him back about the hotel. Thing is you're keeping him around in different ways. He thinks he has a shot at you because you keep on communicating with him somehow, someway. Stop hanging out with him even though it means you won't get free beer, stop telling him you'll call him etc. Just ignore him entirely. If you see him in person, be polite, tell him you've been busy and then keep to your game plan if he tries to call you again. He'll get it.
2007-04-03 19:58:53 · answer #5 · answered by #1bob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man, you don't want this guy to call you or bother you, yet you lead him on in a way that gets his hopes up and makes him think that he has a chance of getting what he really wants from you? (I'm really doubting the whole legitimacy of this question. You're just baiting us to see how we'll respond to your question. Surely, you can't be this naive, or can you?)
You need to call the producers of the Dr. Phil show so that he can get in your face in front of millions of viewers and give you a clarion wake-up call.
2007-04-03 20:04:47 · answer #6 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he's acting this way since you treat him badly, I mean, just for beer? That's horrible. Your playing him and he doesn't even know it. If you would stop letting him take you out, and say that you don't want to go out, and he still did this, than yeah, he's desperate, but since your giving him hope, no wonder he's calling you.
2007-04-03 19:52:24 · answer #7 · answered by I'm scary looking! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You, my dear, are sending him mixed signals all over the place. You are a victim of a circumstance that YOU created.
You need to tell him that you don't want to hang with him anymore. Period.
Anything else and you've only got yourself to blame.
2007-04-03 19:51:11 · answer #8 · answered by Joe Bostonian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is wrong for u to use him like that. The guy is clearly in to u and u keep on leading him on!!!!! If you dont want him to call you then you shouldnt have mentioned calling him!!!!!!
2007-04-03 19:52:35 · answer #9 · answered by misty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I know its wrong, but hey, if he allows himself to get played, then is that my problem?"
I would say that it is in fact, Your Problem, and yes, he is obviously desperate.
You're the cause of your own problem, you know?
Why use someone?
Buy your own beer.
And perhaps he can't "Take the hint" because some floozy is going out, getting drunk with him, and mentioning hotels.
Maybe?
2007-04-03 19:56:00 · answer #10 · answered by Zoltan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋