I am stepmom to a wonderful little boy, aged 7, with mild cerebral palsy. It was told to his father and I by his physician the following two things: He must wear his orthotic brace everyday so that he may eventually get better and not need to wear it any longer as an adolescent. We were also told something similar regarding his glasses - that if he wears them everyday all day - his vision may correct itself. The child's mother and primary caretaker has also been told these things, but she refuses to make the child wear either the brace or his glasses. We recently confronted her about these issues in a non-threatening way, and she was still extremely defensive and denied everything. The child's grandparents and school teachers have all said something to the mother, but nothing has been done. I don't want to get into a nasty family fight, but I care deeply about this child's well being and I would like to help anyway I can. Is there anything to be done to make her be a PARENT?
2007-04-03 11:28:52 · 6 answers · asked by krystal_leighton 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Firstly, there is nothing you can do to make someone do something they don't wish to do, or for a fact - holds no responsibility to do. Therefore, if his ex-wife is unable or unwilling to do her part as a mother, nothing you do will make her change into a responsible parent overnight.
Having said that, there doesn't imply you can't do a single thing too.
Have you considered along the line of convincing your man to take up main custody of the child so both you and your man can have better control over this issue? Nothing beats taking care of this child by yourself, the necessary things to be done can be checked in place.
How about appointing another caretaker on your man's end? Someone whom you can trust to carry out the necessary instructions since the current caretaker has obviously failed to do so.
2007-04-03 11:44:49 · answer #1 · answered by ET 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Are those her only faults? What was she told by the doctor? I would suggest that your husband be the one to talk with her - no woman wants to answer to the new wife - no matter how nice. What makes you think she isnt doing as "suggested"? Is it possible that the child removes the brace and glasses? There can be many reasons why she does this if it is true...doesnt mean she is a bad mother. If your husband thinks she is - then tell him to file for custody. Does she have a spouse? Sometimes things are not as easy when youre single. And - maybe she was told something different - I'm sure you don't know all of her business and what she knows or doesnt know...right? I hardly think that not adhering to those two things - makes her a bad parent...maybe she read up on the percentages of wearing the brace and not wearing the brace and saw that the recovery was not so great...? Or maybe she took him to another doctor...I guess I would want to know her reasons why...before I made it look like she was a bad parent.
2007-04-03 12:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by Handbag Lady 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're between a rock and a hard place. Time to weigh it out and determine which is more important to you. Do you want to keep the peace and live with yourself if you remain silent hoping all will be well? OR...Do you think you can live with the repercussions of bringing it to light that the mother is not meeting the needs of the child? One or the other is bound to happen. Decide which is the best situation you can live with and make that move. You can't make everyone happy all the time. You are only one person, and human. Best of luck.
2007-04-03 11:38:23 · answer #3 · answered by Catie 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i know it sounds drastic but, your husband could threaten to take her to court for custody if she doesn't comply with the doc. but, be ready to follow through if she still doesn't do what's right for her child. does she have problems getting his brace on and off? does the boy give her grief about it b/c he doesn't want to wear it? you said his c.p. is mild so i'm assuming his intelligence level is where it should be.maybe his mom and dad could sit and talk with him ans explain the importance of his brace and glasses. sorry but, considering mom's defensivness, you'll probably have to sit that one out. i wish i had more ideas for you. best of luck.
2007-04-03 11:53:40 · answer #4 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's going to end up hurting her child more than she is helping him. Doesn't she know she can be held liable for this? Oh well, let her learn the hard way.
2007-04-03 11:35:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
THE ONLY THING I COULD SUGGEST WOULD BE TO EXPLAIN TO HER THAT IF SHE CAN NOT COMPLY WITH THESE THINGS THAT YOU WILL BE FORCED TO ASK THE COURTS FOR FULL CUSTODY OF THE CHILD BECAUSE IT IS IN THE CHILDS BEST INTREST. THIS SHOULD SCARE HER ENOUGH TO DO THE THINGS THAT SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING.
2007-04-03 12:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by jahvar's mama 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋