Is this racism or just an honest mistake?

Question

I was at my boyfriends house the other day and we were talking with his mother, she asked me what i was studying at uni, and i told her medicine. She replied by asking 'Oh, so do you want to be a nurse?'. I smiled and told her i wanted to be a doctor.
I could see my boyfriend was quite embarrased but his mother was n't bothered, and i don't think she she likes me, which makes me question this. What do you think?
By the way i'm black and he's white.

Please i'm just asking, i'm not trying to offend anybody.

By the way the reason i think my boyfriend got embarrased was because i'm sure he already told her i wanted to be a doctor.

Answer 1

She sounds like a very ignorant person, to ask you if you want to be a nurse; and not realize it was wrong.

Thanks for the thumbs down guys, greatly appreciated!

Wow 17 thumbs down! me and napqueen are going to break a record tonight! Sweetness!!

Answer 2

I never did understand some people's thinking. They blame everything on their race.

I once used to supervise a crew of young people. Asked this one boy to wash the plate glass window on the front of the business. He did, but the squeegee dried the wetness into really bad streaks. I asked him to do it again, and wipe the squeegee every time he wiped it down. He said "Later" and walked away on me.

A little while later, the boss told me the boy had reported me for being deliberately mean to a native American. And, told me that if I wanted the window cleaned a second time, I'd have to do it myself. We couldn't afford to get a reputation for discrimination. Huh? I just wanted to have a clean window for customers to look through.

Someone says something innocent to a minority, and the first thing out of that person's mouth is, "It's because I am black" or "because I am native American." Or whatever they may happen to be. Then they're so quick to report a person for discrimination, when it might not even really be the case.

So your boyfriend's mother asked a simple question, and you think she's racist? In her age group, it was understood that girls become nurses, guys become doctors. What is so racist about that?

Answer 3

No its not racism. I think that generation just thinks women are nurses and men are doctors. Actually I prefer female doctors as if it hadn't been for our doctor we'd never have had our beautiful son.

I think our last (male) doctor was a racist, like my mother seems to be.

I can see some people are calling you a racist for thinking the way you have. These people should consider this fact:

UNLESS YOU ARE AFFECTED BY RACISM YOU HAVE NO FECKING IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

Answer 4

I think it was an honest mistake. Maybe she's just getting old and didn't remember that your boyfriend already told her.....forget about it and don't take it personally. Good Luck! And I Hope You Become a Doctor!~ DO YO THANG GIRL! lol

Answer 5

I wouldn't worry about it... some older people are stuck on the idea of females being nurses and males being doctors... I suppose they think of the days when women typically stayed home and raised children whil men went out to work. It probably wasn't a dig at you... it sounded more like a gender bias as opposed to a racial bias, but if she really doesn't like you - hopefully she will come to see you as the person you are... not just someone who is black, white, yellow, pink, blue, etc. You know? Best wishes on your studies!

Answer 6

I can't see how this is racist. If anything it's probably remotely sexist. She probably thought girl = nurse.

The same way if a guy says he's going to study medicine and he replies by saying 'actually I'm training to be a nurse'. Most people would've automatically assumed he'd was training to be a doctor (not a nurse).

You are obviously reading too much into this. The race issues obviously lie with you and not anyone else.

Answer 7

I think your being a bit sensitive. I am sure it has NOTHING to do with race. It just sounds like your bf's mother is a little 'old school'. Where in her day women were nurses and doctors were always men. Another reason she may not have seemed embarrassed was
a) she was hiding it well
b) she didn't see anything to be embarrassed about i.e a nurse is just as good a job as a doctor.

Don't take it to heart. Good luck with your study!

Answer 8

What would make you connect her belief you're studying to be a nurse with race?! What planet are you from? Did it ever occur to you that most women studying medicine are studying to become nurses? She just jumped to a conclusion based on the most likely probability. Why should she assume you were studying to become a doctor? How many people go to school to become doctors? That's rare and she is unlikely to encounter many of those. Why would you automatically assume what she said is racist? Maybe because she's white? Sounds like you're the racist.

Answer 9

how could it be racism? It sounds to me from what you have written that it was a conversation. But there may be more to the events than what you are writing, as I also see no reason from what you say for you boyfriend to be embarrassed. I will put the Q. on my watch list and if you like elaborate on the conversation you had, and explain in some more detail why you think he got embarrassed and I will then add to my comments on what I think of the situation (I will then also reveal my ethnic background).

Answer 10

Nope, not racism. Possibly (un)intentional sexism. Or an honest mistake. Besides, people don't always absorb what other people tell them. 'Sorry, I got distracted'. Ever use that line? Exactly. What makes you think she's racist?

Answer 11

It could have been either, but what I find surprising is that you don't question whether it was a sexist question -- nursing is still considered a women's job, while for many people, particularly of an older generation, doctors are expected to be men.

You'll never know, of course, what was behind the question -- if anything at all, really. But you could ask your boyfriend, if you haven't already -- he might have some idea.