My mom had me when she was 16 she decided not to be with my real dad because he really never grew up and somehow at that time she new that he wouldn’t, he has been in and out of jail all of my life I never really asked why, he never called me or sent me a birthday card or anything I just recently found him I had been looking for him for two years when I finally go a hold of him this is what he said to me "its about damn time you called me" I didn’t know what to say I’m only 15 I will be 16 on the 15th of April I decided to take a step forward and invite him to come to my birthday but he said that he cant and came up with a lot of excuses but told me that I should go there for my birthday I don’t really understand why I have to always go there or call them or send them the cards and letters me and my step dad don’t get along so because I never really had a dad in my life it has really messed me up I cant trust guys not even my boyfirend. what should i do? i just dont understand him.
2007-04-03 10:05:59 · 12 answers · asked by Anna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He sounds just as immature as he has always been. Making it out like you are supposed to be the one to reach out is selfish. He has no clue how to be a father so dont expect one.
He may feel uncomfortable coming to a party with a crowd. Instead ask if he would do something with you that doesnt involve other people.
2007-04-03 10:11:39 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this! I'm sure my daughter will be asking the same thing in 7-8 years.
Go with what you think is best for you, but don't put too much effort and trust into something that may never be. Chances are that if he didn't want to be a father for the past 15 years, he won't want to make the effort to do anything more than wait for you to go to him.
Best of Luck!
2007-04-03 17:17:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your real father doesn't have a clue from what you've said here.
But, how do you feel???? Do you want something from him???
Are you curious about who he is??? Ask your self some questions before dismissing him....YOU may be the reason for him to change his life around, His motivating factor.
Some people can never give as much as others. Others have never learned how, or have not been in the situation where they can.
If your father has spent time in jail, his emotions my be locked down, boxed up, inaccessible even to himself. And that may be why he has never reached out to connect with you.
Its easy to be cynical about him being a loser and such. Its hard to give people a chance.
If you try you may be rewarded with a new relationship.
And then again you may not. You'll never know unless you try.
2007-04-03 17:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by tincre 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any Father who puts the blame on his daughter for not calling is still immature. I honestly don't think I would want to meet him but sometime in the future you may regret not giving it a try. How about meeting at a local coffee shop. If things don't go well you can leave. As for your other issues, it is too late for him to be a dad to you. I think you might benefit by talking to a therapist.
2007-04-03 17:13:25 · answer #4 · answered by alice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trusting men shouldn't have anything to do with your father. Not all men are alike and a lot know how to treat women.. As for your father, F*** him!! You didn't need him growing up, you sure as hell don't need him now.. He's just going to disappoint you more.. Trust your mother! If she didn't trust him it's probably in your best interest. Let it go!
2007-04-03 17:11:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are the child, he's the parent. it is his responsibility to come and check on your well-being and not the other way around. i'm sorry it's causing you so much pain and i really wish you all the best in life. for now, you tell him on how you feel and if still he's not giving you the time you deserve, then put yourself in priority and leave his sorry butt behind. you deserve the best. good luck and happy birthday!
2007-04-03 17:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your real dad sounds like a loser. You have to get your head straightened out. There are lots of kids who don't have dads. All men are not like this. Talk to mom.
2007-04-03 17:12:29 · answer #7 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just do what ur heart tell u to do !
life is too big to live in it alone .
and we can end the pain just with a nice :O)
2007-04-03 17:22:38 · answer #8 · answered by rafik b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOUR DAD WANTS TO BE APART OF YOUR LIFE THEM LET HIM BE. YOU GUYS COULD MAKE UP FOR LOSE TIME WITH EACH OTHER. ITS NEVER TO LATE TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME. GO THEIR FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY HE MIGHT HAVE SPECIAL SURPRISE PARTY FOR YOU.
2007-04-03 17:19:27 · answer #9 · answered by Carebear22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him o take a hike you made it this far without him and you will make it another many years without his sorry butt
2007-04-03 17:10:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋