I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months. He has so many amazing qualities. He loves me. He constantly compliments me on my appearance, on my career, etc etc. He is supportive, always wants me w/him & helpful to me I need him.
The problem is he just decided to take a job in Japan & ever since it feels like everything that we do somehow revolves around his move. I feel like all of his responsibiliites relating to the move have become my own. I am happy to help, but sometimes I feel like his is ungrateful & what's worse, gets very angry when I don't do something he asks.
Bottom line- all the demands, & sometimes diva-ish behavior have made me question some of my feelings for him. Granted, he apologizes if I can articulate why I am upset - but shouldn't he KNOW not to ask too much of 1 person.
QUESTION- should I consider breaking up with him or wait until after the move is done so I can see whether it was the move that was causing the problems, & not our relationship?
2007-04-03 09:34:21 · 12 answers · asked by Buckster3469 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My thing is this if you are moving to Japan with him....do you want to move on the other side of the world, quit a job, leave a home, and everything else to get over there and realize that you don't want this relationship with him anymore. Then have to figure out how to move back and start all over again. You should start thinking about this now. Tell him what's going on and that you need some space and time to think. If you are staying here while he's over there then start thinking about it whenever you want.
2007-04-03 09:41:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it seems that the problem is not the relationship itself. Its the move. He is under a lot of stress himself because of it, and he wants your support which is why he is relying so much on you. He wants you to be a part of it with him, and to understand how important it is to him, and accept that. He is not trying to put so much pressure on you, but he needs you to be there with him when he needs you most.
I would say that dumping him would be a bad idea. Just get used to telling him when it is really getting to be too much for you, and as you said, he will apologise and back off. Don't dump him when he needs you the most, because chances are, if it had been you that had been moving for your business, he would have done the same thing. He would have stuck by you and done everything he could to take some of the stress off you. Give the relationship a chance and wait until after the move, because then things should be less stressful and he will relax a bit more.
It seems to me that he really loves you and really does appreciate the things you're doing, even if he isn't showing it right now. I'm sure he'll find some way to make it up to you. Just hold tight for the moment!
2007-04-03 09:41:57 · answer #2 · answered by laislinns 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean "shouldn't he KNOW not to ask too much of one person?" He's not a mindreader. Are you or are you not an adult? It's your decision to either say 'yes' or 'no, I can't do that right now.'
He's moving to Japan and you both have known each other for only 5 months. You will probably correspond and then, due to the large distance and separation, the relationship will probably graually end. Don't worry about it. If you don't want to do something, then don't do it! Stop acting like a child - unless of course you are one.
2007-04-03 09:41:33 · answer #3 · answered by D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure where you guys live right now...but Japan is a big move. I would be totally stressed out. It's a new culture, new people, a new job. I would just be supportive for now and see how it goes when he moves.
2007-04-03 09:40:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably stressed. Sounds like a nice guy? Have you discussed the potential for a long distance relationship? Is the job permanent?
2007-04-03 09:39:15 · answer #5 · answered by tara b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If, i were you. I would dump him, because, to me. It sounds like he is being really too demanding on you. I mean, if he has problems with the things that you do. Then, how do you know that he even like you. I mean, I thought that if a guy liked you. Then, that meant, that they should like you for who you are. I would dump him, because, if your not happy. Then, why stay in the realtionship. I would dump him, and then find you a guy who will accept you for who you are. To me, it sounds like you have been un-happy for a while with this current guy. your friend molly o.
2007-04-03 10:04:39 · answer #6 · answered by Tweety's fan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him know how you feel and you don't want to change everything and move to Japan just so he can be happy. talk and let him know what's in you're head more than likely he doesn't know how you feel. he might understand and take another offer closer to your home just wait and see.
2007-04-03 09:39:24 · answer #7 · answered by mike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long is he moving there for? Are you moving with him??? If he is permanently moving there, then YES... break up now. You shouldnt be his MOVER girl... you are his GIRLFRIEND! Help... yes. DO EVERY LITTLE THING HE ASKS WHEN HE WANTS IT... NO.
2007-04-03 09:39:15 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TALK TO HIM!!its the only way!!!communication is the number one way to a great relationship..if hes not open enough to u, then i suggest you pack his or your bags and leave..Been there...
2007-04-03 09:40:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure
2007-04-03 09:37:40 · answer #10 · answered by SUE T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋