The love of my life called me after two years. I missed him a lot, and thought about him as well. The father of my child says he wants us back. But I don't know. My new friend accepted me when I felt lost and out. He did try to talk to one of my friends though. They all want to be with me now after I have gotten to a place to give up on men and Love. So what do you think I shoud do date them all and weigh my options. or just dog them out.
2007-04-03 09:22:00 · 9 answers · asked by Lady Rose 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Weigh your options. Carefully.
There's nothing wrong with dating more than one guy at one time -- as long as these two conditions are met:
1. Each of them knows about the others. Don't worry. I have found that most guys presume you are seeing other people. That's why they make a big thing out of being exclusive. I'm not saying you have to have a big sitcom-style party where they all meet each other. It's just easier if you are above board early and disclose that you are dating around, and that you are not serious about any of them yet.
2. Do not get physical with any of them. At all. This will make it easier to say that you are just dating around without being serious. It will also weed out those people who are just in it for the physical aspect, and you will be spared a lot of aggravation.
If you weigh your options here by dating more than one of them at once, one of them may separate himself from the pack as a special guy! Even if that doesn't happen, you'll enjoy their company and maybe be open to other new guys. Remember to enjoy this time.
Stick to your guns! Be your own authentic self, maintain your integrity, and if you get any static from any of these guys, THEN you can dog them out. You know it now -- the Real You is an attractive woman! Guys will keep coming to you.
I think what happens to a woman who reaches the place you describe -- "a place to give up on men and Love" -- is that she is free to be her real self. She doesn't feel pressure to act in a certain way to get or maintain a man's attention or a relationship. Guys are drawn to authenticity, confidence, and independence. This is why so many women seem to find the right person when they stop looking!
I hope this is the beginning of a wonderful new time for you and for your child.
2007-04-03 09:39:25 · answer #1 · answered by aquariandawn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohh toughie. Just remember one thing, don't be with a man just because he is the father of your child. Important thing to remember!
Okay... I really get upset when people think "dating" is seeing only one person and no one else, or that it is cheating to date more than one person.
Dating is "viewing your options", let the men know that you don't want to be exclusive, date them all! Date other men too!
The father of your child I assume left you or made you want to leave him... just because he is the father doesn't mean he deserves a second chance. I don't know the situation, but if a father bails once, I'd be afraid he will bail again!
What happened between you and the love of your life? Why did you break up? Try to figure out if he is the kind of person you want to be with again...
This friend of yours tried to cheat on you with one of your friends? Sounds as though he might not want to be in a serious "adult" relationship, or he doesn't respect you.
Think about ten years from now... these men will likely not change, so can you live with all there little quirks for the rest of your life?? Also you have a child, consider if these people are right as a father figure to your kid... do they do drugs, are they the same religion as you, are they strict, are they womanizers??
Decide for yourself what you think is the best choice for you and your baby...
I'm wishing you the best of luck, Sweetie!
2007-04-03 16:33:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the father of your child should have preference over the other two men. unless yall ended yall relationship for a good reason, infidelity/abuse, etc. try again with him, but only if u truly want him back. the love of your life seems to have taken his time calling you and came out of nowhere,2 years is a long time to be apart and im sure the relationship wont be the same because you both have grown and changed since then. your new friend is not as significant of an option as the other two, and like you said, he was interested in your friend. those feelings for her may not go away.
if anything, def dont date all three at once, it wont be the example you want to set for your child and feelings will def get hurt.
2007-04-03 16:32:11 · answer #3 · answered by ibreathefashion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me you have just reached your high state in life where you learned you DON"T need to lean on a man through life and you don't need them to carry you at all. Although, someone is testing you to see how strong you really are. Why did you and your love of your life seperate to begin with? Was he an @$$ or did you two just not have time for one another. Question whether or not they deserve you. If one does, then go for it. Don't weaken down if they weren't good to you.
2007-04-03 16:28:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move ahead and get your life together for you and your kid, not some guy. Once your life is better you'll attract better guys. Rip the rear view mirror off and don't look back. Nothing good could come from old relationships. Sorry!
2007-04-03 16:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by mojosc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its called a past for a reason. Leave it there and move on with someone who will love and respect you and your child.
2007-04-03 16:29:03 · answer #6 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move forward. These guys were gone for a reason. You have a child to think about.
2007-04-03 16:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its understandable to be careful but for your child's sake dont just be with anyone wait for that special someone and you will know when he comes
2007-04-03 16:27:26 · answer #8 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are all ex's for a reason.....think about that and then decide....do you really want to go backwards? good luck
2007-04-03 16:25:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋