Am I being a selfish brat or unappreciated??

Question

OK, I come from divorced parents so the real problem started about 19 yrs ago. I grew up with my dad in HOUSTON, TX. My mom, in SAN ANTONIO, TX, opened an income tax business and asked me to "help" her out. I agreed to move 3 hrs away (into my own apt) to help her out; i thought it would be a good oportunity to get to know her and spend more time with her. I started off working 60+hrs/wk with no lunch hr. I am responsible for answering every call, attending every person that comes in, all the paperwork, i do EVERYTHING basically except clean and pay rent for the office, and shes hardly ever here. My checks arent that bad but when you break them down by hour, its not worth it. And I have a son and husband that i hardly spend time with. I do extra around here and all she does is complain to me about the things that go wrong. I dont want to quit on my mom but she doesnt give me any reason not to... she IS MY MOM and she has done a lot for me.. other than work we get along well.

Answer 1

Well, you are experiencing what a lot of workers do: the absentee boss. It does not matter that the boss is your Mom, the problem is frequent, and hard to deal with.
The solution could start with you. Decide if you want to keep the job, or go. If you choose go, then sit down with boss Mom and say, I am having a problem, I see my husband and child rarely, the long hours have begun to bother me. After this tax season, I am going to have to cut back, and leave no later than__. I can stay once in awhile, but not often. If you wish, it is time to talk about the responsibilities you have that are keeping you working the long hours, and the causes behind the things that go wrong. And maybe point out that she treats you like a daughter, , rather than employee, and suggest a division between work and home. You may not have to quit, just be prefared mentally to have to do so.
And, then it is up to the boss, whether to retain you, or fire you. Do not expect a reference, severance pay, or your Mom to ever speak to you again.
And try to consider what might be her point of view. You owe her in some way, payback is owed, and this is how it is to be payed back. And she expects that her employee handle the problems, because you are being paid. This is typical in the workplace, every boss I have had is unsympathetic with busy work hours and screw-ups.
I do not know what your attitude towards Mom at work is, but if it is anything but a professional, yes ma'm, no ma'm, I'll do better next time, sorry, attitude, then I'm sorry to say, you may be adding to the problem. Try acting like you do not know this woman, and try to act like like any other employee would in the situation. Perhaps, even if you are not meaning to, or even actually doing this, Mom is hearing whiney child answering her back. I say things like, I'm sorry, it was busy. It got forgotten, I'll do better remembering this thing in the future. Try this before you do the I quit thing, it might work.
Good luck.

Answer 2

It sounds like; unfortunately; she's taking advantage of you business wise. Just because she's your mother doesn't give her that right. You have your own family now to take care of and she has to respect that. I'd say it's time to move on; she'll find someone else, and if she doesn't then it'll be responsible for her to take care of the business she started; you know? Every employee has to have a lunch; that's part of the labor law btw. I stopped doing business with my mom a couple of years ago; she was always in my business and tried to tell me how to live; I ended up moving. I rented her condo from her.

Answer 3

I know there are website where you can compare your salary with someone else in your position, though I don't know what it is. Write down everything you do at work, get the salary comparison and then present this information to your mother and ask for a raise just like any other employee would. Maybe she doesn't realize what you do and needs to see it for herself. And start taking a lunch. You deserve it, plus your two breaks a day. :-)

Answer 4

It sounds like shes taking advantage of you because you are family.
I would talk to your husband about this and have him back you up if needed....and say you need to spend more time with your family and that you want your hours cut (or even quit...your not her slave you dont have to work there) to whatever you want (20 hrs, 30..whatever).
It doesnt matter if she is your mother or your employer you have an obligation to your own immediate family and yourself first.

Answer 5

Even though she is your mother you need to find a job that is rewarding not something you hate doing
if you are truly unhappy there go out and find something else and let her know that you are moving on to a better career. she will understand if not when you tell her a little further down the road -

Answer 6

Separate work from homelife --- mom pays going rate
(w/ overtime if appropriate) when you're on the job. She
sticks with honest wages or gets a "new employee" period.
"business is business"

Answer 7

Definitely unappreciated. Situations like yours are a good example as to why business and family should not go together.

Answer 8

Get outta there. It's hard mixing family and business, and just explain that to her. Your husband and kids come first!

Answer 9

well tell her you need to spend time with your family and cut down on hours or quit because FAMILY ALWAYS COMES FIRST

Answer 10

You can't look at her as your mom in this situation. She's your employer. She's you boss. If any other boss treated you this way then what would you do? Do that.