Would it be ok to say "In lieu of gifts, with monatary gifts help us go on our honeymoon."?

Question

Is it rude or tacky to ask for money as a gift (on the invitation) to help us go on our honeymoon since we have been living together for 3 years and already have everyting we need or want?

Answer 1

Registering for honeymoons is becoming more and more common these days. Go for it! Why waste everyone's money on five toasters that'll never see the sunlight? So go and get some sunlight on your honeymoon instead!

However, you should never directly ask for money. It's rude to put that information with your invitations. You should never even put your registry information with your invitations. It's a big etiquette no-no. It's your maid or matron of honor's duty to make sure everyone knows where you're registered. So register for a honeymoon, and have the maid or matron of honor spread the word! Here are some sites that you can do it at.

http://www.honeyfund.com/
http://www.honeymoonwishes.com/
http://www.honeyluna.com/
http://www.thehoneymoon.com/
http://www.thebigday.com/
http://www.sendusoff.com/
http://www.travelersjoy.com/?gclid=CP3G9oKcqIsCFQMLVAodV3FtjQ

Some of these sites are free, others cost a small fee (much less compared to the cost of a whole honeymoon). They let you set up your own site so your guests can see where you're going, what you're doing, etc. Make a list of the parts of your honeymoon, for example you could put airfare, meals, champagne, mountain climbing, snorkeling, etc, and your guests can contribute to whatever they choose to. This way, you're being tactful while still getting something you'd like, and they'll appreciate being included in your honeymoon planning and being able to give you a gift you actually want. You know that feeling that you get when you find out that a gift you gave to someone that you thought was great just ended up sitting in the trash? Your guests don't want to feel that way either, so this'll help them give you a great gift! Make sure you set up a honeymoon registry, though, because everyone hates being solicited for money outright. :-(

Congratulations!!!

Answer 2

That is totally rude and tacky. You never mention gifts in a wedding invitation, EVER. Just because you are getting married does not give you the right to shake down your friends and family. When you invite anyone to anything all you are requesting is their time.

However, if you like, at the bottom of your invitation you may list your wedding website. The web site is okay to mention because on it you will post other things that people may find interesting. On the website you talk about how you met, how he proposed, wedding planning, and future hopes and dreams. The ins and outs so to speak. There may be a link there for your wedding registry and monetary wishes.

Answer 3

Yep, sorry - there is no tactful, tasteful way to ask directly for money. It turns your wedding into a fundraiser. The thing is, gifts are always optional, and it's always in bad taste to assume there will be a gift. All wedding guests are obliged to do is show up appropriately dressed and expressing pleasure and good wishes to the couple. The gifts are supposed to be a much-appreciated extra.

You can, however, tell your Mom, his Mom, anyone likely to be asked what you want that IF they are asked (and only if), they can say something like, "well, they have everything they need, but it would be nice if someone gave them a few dollars to go out to dinner on their honeymoon..."

Answer 4

You shouldn't ask for money...it'll come off as rude and inconsiderate. I wouldn't worry about it. My husband and I had been together for almost 6 years and living together for 4 1/2 of them. We have two little boys. We just got married this past Friday and we mostly got money in cards. We did get a couple of gifts...a beautiful wedding frame and some bedsheets, but overall I think people will give you money. For two reasons 1) It's easier than guessing what you have and don't have and 2) Usually a couple can use it more than an actual gift.

Answer 5

Very tacky indeed. Gifts are a common courtesy to be given to couples on the occassion of their wedding, but should not be an implied requirement for attending a wedding - you should invite people because you want to share the day with them.

Specifying what type of gift you want, especially as cash (further implying that you don't trust their judgement to purchase something appropriate for you) is tacky in the extreme.

Answer 6

Yes it is tacky and rude. If I got something like that, I would be hurt. I would feel as if I was invited to the wedding only for my money, my gift, and what the couple could extract from me. I would decline the invitation, via RSVP card, and if asked why, I would say "previous commitment".

Answer 7

you shouldn't have anything about the gifts on the invite. It's rude to assume everyone will get you something and tacky to tell them what to get you.
People might have something in mind they already want to get you. the people that go to your wedding should know you well enough to know that you're already out on your own and have what you need/want.
What you can do, instead of saying something on the invites, is register at an airlines or at hotel or trip planner. talk to the place you'll want to be and ask if you can register. Just like any registry you'll have to tell your birdal party and immediate family (mom, dad, siblings) then they can let people know that you want cash or contributions to your honey moon and are registered at such-and-such place.
GodBless!

Answer 8

It is not ok to ask for gifts at all, money or other. A gift is just that, a gift. It is not required that anyone give you anything for your wedding, though you may anticipate that many will. You may discreetly tell your friends, should they ask you about what you would like, that you would rather have the cash, but you definitely should not specify that on your invitation.
The line is usually "In Lieu of flowers, please donate to the favorite charity of the deceased", not a good association for your wedding, in any case!

Answer 9

It is rude and tacky to refer to gifts (monetary or otherwise) with or on the wedding invitation. The ONLY invitation that is acceptable to have gift-giving requests or information is the shower invites, since it's the hostess, and not you, who is sharing that information.

Personally, I would not care to give monetarily so people could go on vacation. People want to give you a gift to help you in your new life together, not to upgrade you from coach to first class on your way to a vacation.

Answer 10

Yes it would be very tacky. If all these people know that you have been living together for this long, most will assume that the best gift is money. They know you already have a toaster!