how do stay at home moms do it?

Question

too rich for food stamps
too poor to buy our damn groceries

Answer 1

Ha ha! I know EXACTLY what you're talking about! I have four children and my husband is the only one bringing home the bacon. ppl keep telling me that I would prob qualify for food stamps now, but when I tell them my husband makes too much, they look at me like we're rollin' in the dough! I barely qualified for WIC, and that was giving them husband's base salary without monthly bonuses, because sometimes we can't count on a good bonus every month. Otherwise, we'd be making too much. Believe me, we have a nice home and minivan, but we have nice payments to go w/that! Our '2nd' vehicle is paid for, but it's a quarter-ton gas gussler truck! Well, as far as 'how' we do it? We live paycheck to payceck, pay our tithes first and foremost, and allow God to do the rest. Some months we're not sure if we can keep our heads above water, but somehow, an unexpected sum of money will show up just when we need it most or a dear saint in our church will feel the need to bless us with a prepared meal or a few dollars for gas or groceries. (We never tell anyone outside our immediate family about our financial woes, so these ppl are doing this only from the goodness of their heart.) My husband has a hard time accepting any kind of help, but I tell him that if God wanted that person to give, he'll bless that person even more! I don't know if you go to church or anything, but I thought I'd just share with you the power of praying to a God unseen. He really has taken care of us!
I forgot to include a few things that we do cut back on and finding creative ways to have fun and entertainment.
ANNIE has a VERY good answer.

Answer 2

You have just described the life of "middle class" families in America. We have lived from check to check our entire marriage and it will not change any time soon. We are fortunate that our housing costs are covered, as well as the basics, but once we pay our few bills, buy the food and gas up the van, there isn't much left and our savings account never seems to hold onto money for very long. For us, the biggest frustration is that because of a combination of my husbands military career and having a special needs child, I simply can't work more than a few hours a week and would have to have a very flexable and understanding employer.

So how do we do it??? Budget is key. You have to make and follow one, to the letter. And when that means there isn't much left over for "fun" you have to get creative. We are lucky enough to live in an area where there are many free musuems, parks and events to attend. But we have learned that those will only take you so far before you get a bit stir crazy, so we built one family night out a month into our budget. Basically, we can go to a "real" resteraunt (a diner or a place like Ruby Tuesdays), order pizza and rent several movies, go to a movie (matinee of course and snacks are from the Dollar Store) or head to the mall (everyone gets a set amount to spend, including food and snacks). Watch eating out on the spur of the moment...fast food can seriously eat up your food budget. My husband brings his lunch at most of the time...leftovers or nuke em meals. We have cut out most snack foods..better for us all anyway. I always plan out my weeks menu and do my shopping based on that. I do use coupons and keep an eye on local grocery chains for when they have really good sales on items I use all the time. When I cut coupons, I only cut ones I know I will use. And just cause you have a coupon doesn't mean the price will be the best..check similar products and then choose. I have always shopped thrift shops and yard sales for my kids everyday clothes and shoes are always on sale. My wardrobe has certainly diminished from my pre-family days, but I have learned to buy items with an eye for longevity and classic lines rather than the newest fads.

The truth is, life like this is rough. There isn't a day that I am not worried about things like car repairs, plumbing issues or unexpected costs like the ones we had when our daughter was hurt in a sledding accident. Insurance covered all the big costs, but there have been a few things we have had to pay and it has been tough. Our second car died recently and we had to come to the tough decision of waiting a year to replace it to avoid two car payments. It sucks since that means I have no car, but I know it is the best thing to do.

All I can say is..be creative, be resourceful and be strong.

Answer 3

Boy do I know how you feel.My husband and I have five children between to two of use.We are classified as a blended family.Our oldest children have just turned 12 but our youngest is 5.We as a couple made to much money to qualify for daycare subsidy but couldn't afford to have five kids in child care.So my husband and I decided that I would stay at home and he would stay working.We had to do a lot of changes.Such as no going out for supper maybe once a month or a special occasion.Non of the extras like toys at the market or junk food like chips and pop.Our budget was really hard at first but now we are doing okay.We aren't rich and we may seem to others as penny pincher's but we are much happier as well as a closer family unit.I think the government needs to take a good long look at the working poor.There are a lot of families out there in our situation that need help.We did it on our own but what about the others that are so overwhelmed by everything that feel burdened by this dilemma.I feel for you.Good luck .

Answer 4

I agree that menu planning will both lower your grocery bill and your stress level. After all, you'll already know what you're cooking each night.

Do you go out to/rent/buy movies? Rent them for free at the library instead; burn them if they're just fantastic.

Clip coupons each and every Sunday and join a wholesale club; it's well worth the membership fee. Maybe you can find another mom to split the cost with; but you'll have to tell them you live together if they ask. I joined BJ's; they not only accept coupons (unlike Sam's Club), but they mail out their own, too.

Do you have a Save-A-Lot or Aldi's in your area? Go there at least once a month before you hit up your regular grocery store; you'd be surprised how much money you'll save.

Answer 5

Just as every other mom has said.....BUDGET. It's the toughest thing to do and stick with....that is until you learn the ropes. The big thing for us was figuring out what we really needed and what we thought we needed. We use every coupon to man that you can think of. From groceries to board games. You'd be surprised at how much you can actually save if you take an hour and sort and shop around. On an average week we can save about 30 dollars in coupons alone. I stock up on the items that we use the most-when they are on sale....

I also sell my children's clothing on ebay/craigslist once they have out grown them. This way we have some money to "reuse" for newer clothes. I also sell things around the house that we can no longer use....from old jackets to toys that they have also outgrown. You'd be surprised with how much you can actually sell on the above websites.....you too will find many families that are in the same boat as you.

Answer 6

I am a stay at home mom and find doing a menu will help out with the grocery bill. My husband is the bread winner in our family, he is military but doesn't get a huge pay check like people want to assume so like everyone else in the world, we budget everything. I get our bills taken care of, half at one part of the month and the other half at the last part of the month. Then I plan my menu, a meal for every single day. Sometimes it's a simple hot dog with fries and fruit as desert and other times it is a pork roast with fancy sides but we have something for our children every day. I stick with the grocery list. Instead of buying snacks, we make them. It's cheaper to make your own cup cakes than to buy them. I buy fruit and portion it in bowls and seal them and then the kids can go right in the fridge and pick out a fruit instead of something loaded with sugar. We don't buy soda, make tea, kool-aid or buy juice. It's cheaper. Watch the portions you buy, don't get what you won't eat and stay away from drive throughs. There are 4 of us and with all we buy for a 2 week period I spend around 150.00 for groceries and that includes the expensive things like TP, razors, etc. If you make a menu, get creative with it so not to have the same things every week, you can afford it.

Answer 7

I stay at home. We have cut out a lot of "extras". We rarely eat out. Go to the movie once or twice a year...
Almost all of our canned stuff is store brand (there isn't much difference).. I use lots of coupons. I scour grocery store ads and use the ad prices at our local Super WalMart. By using coupons and ads, I save about $10-$15 a week in groceries. Do you qualify for WIC? We don't qualify for food stamps, but we get WIC for our son. WIC helps us buy cheese, milk, eggs, juice, cereal, and peanut butter.
I also look for clothes and toys at ebay and garage sales. If your kids are in diapers, try the store brand. If you or the kids are sick, ask the doctor for medicine samples....
It's tough to make ends meet..Just remember how important it is that you are home with your children. I love being able to raise my son. I will gladly give up whatever it takes to stay home. Good luck.

Answer 8

It can get pretty tight in the money area sometimes. The grocery bill can flucuate, but it is an easy way to slim costs sometimes. We might have to eat soup twice that week or maybe grilled cheese for dinner, but the kids love it anyway.

We don't eat out, no cable, no cell phones or maicures. I don't even get my hair cut, I have a long style and cut the bangs myself. I don't need all that stuff. What the heck am I going to do with a manicure when I am digging in the dirt with my kids?

Answer 9

My hubby had a habit of picking up a 12 pack of pop on the way home from work every night. He didn't understand how much money he was spending doing that. We saved over $100 a month when he finally realized how much money he was wasting. We buy one 12 pack for the weekend and that is it. The rest of the week is water, Crystal Light, Milk or juice. Sometimes, it is just finding that one thing to cut out every month. (Daily cup of coffee at the gas station etc..)

Answer 10

We budget. My husband makes decent money in his profession even though it is blue collar work. I used to make the majority of the money when I worked so it was a big change for us.

We got food stamps there for awhile but we soon made too much money for it. We had to start letting go of things that were not necessities like cable tv, high speed internet, cell phones, etc. We started buying non name brand stuff, coupon clipping and searching for sale days and double coupon days. It's not easy but it's definitely worth it in the long run.