How do I know if im prepared and ready for a child?

Question

If you look at my previous questions, I bet you can gather that I have a girl friend that I love so dearly. I, have no experience in taking care for a child. I know what not to do, hence my background. I will be visiting her and "OUR" child on the 31st of May.

Before I go further, I met my Girl Friend on the yahoo art chat. She has a son, from a previous relationship.

I guess what I'm scared of is being a father, being there for my Girlfriend and Son. Before I met her and our son, I did some research on my chosen career (animation/modeling). It is shown that the animators and the like spend a lot of time at work. I have told her about my feelings, and she says we can work together and fix problems that will occur.

One more related question, am I stressing too much?
If you need more information use my contact links on my profile and ask there.

As one more piece of information, I am currently living in Maine (brrrrrr). I will be on my way to California on the 6th of June. I will be attending The Art Institute of California in San Francisco. Yet another stress, I suppose I just need to find a comfortable (between the three of us) balance.

Answer 1

HA! So , basically... you're HUMAN??? LOL

Nobody knows how to be a parent until AFTER they are. Cuz no matter how much experience you have babysitting or with siblings, every child is different!!!

It doesn't really matter IF you are prepared since you ARE already a father. You need to step up and do the right thing - learn just like all the rest of us responsible people had to - one day at a time.

Don't stress so much. Nobody's perfect. You're gonna screw up, but KNOW that you are not the only one, and the fact that you are even concerned about whether you will be ok is a good sign that you intend to do your best (you care).

Good luck with your life! It will bring you many more blessings than you will think. I never wanted to be a parent, but i have 2 kids and although my life is DIFFERENT than I might have liked, and I have troubles that I would not have had otherwise, and have made HUGE sacrifices, it is all VERY worth it!!!!



MAny blessings to you, sir.

Answer 2

By asking this question, I think you are prepared for a child. It's just that you are worried you might not be able to give the child all the love and time you would wish.

Ah, it is shown that animators spend a lot of time at work? But everyone is different isn't it?
And how accurate and far-reaching is that survey anyway?

Whatever it is, do NOT depend on statistics to show whether or not you are ready for a child.
Depend on your own abilities and what you can offer to both your girlfriend and son.

Take baby steps first. I'm sure your girlfriend would understand. There is no need to rush. Maybe you can start by changing the diapers, how about it? Your girlfriend would take care of the rest...

I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

The fact that you are so worried shows that you care. That's the biggest obstacle in this kind or relationship. The willingness to take on the responsibility is also a great step. You'll be fine. Kids don't come with instruction manuals, we all have to learn as we go. I think you should relax.

As far a the working all the time goes, if your girlfriend is ok with it, then you two can make it work. My husband works full time and goes to school full time. We have 5 kids and are expecting our 6th. I have to spend a lot of time alone with the kids right now, but it's for the benefit of our family, so I am willing to do it.

Answer 4

You are never truly ready to be a parent. I have 2 myself and I can tell you I am still learning. You need to stop stressing and just go with the flow. Everything will fall into place as needed. It is normal being scared, but think positive and know that everyone make mistakes here and there, no one person is a perfect parent. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Honey, relax. Being a parent is a very big deal, one which must be taken very seriously. No one has ever gone into it with all the answers, and if they say they have they're lying! Go ahead- be a man, love and support your child (in every way) and do your best. If your always put the child's best interest first, you will be just fine! And congratulations, Dad! That's a mighty dignified title that not everyone is able to experience!

Answer 6

Back in the day there was not a book written on how to be a parent. These days there is a plethora of information on parenting strategies. Read a book. Relationships are all about sacrifices and compromises so communicate with your girlfriend and things will work there way out.

Answer 7

Think of all the people that you know that are fathers and clueless, you will be alright as long as you put forth the effort, you need a lot of patience and understanding to be a good dad. The most important thing a man can do for a child is to love it's mother.

Answer 8

You'll never be prepared, but as long as you want to be a good parent I'm sure you will be. I can't imagine life without my son. He's a ton of work and responsibility, and I wouldn't have it any other way, I'd do ANYTHING for him.

Answer 9

Yes you are stressing too much. Relax. No one is ever 100% ready and prepared to have a child. Just be yourself, you'll be just fine! Good luck.

Answer 10

First of all no one is ready to be a first time parent. Next this boy is not your son. He has already been traumatized by having his birth father out of the picture, do not add to his pain by trying to be his father unless you are willing to commit to his mother for the long run.