my son has this friend at school that he really likes and the kids parents want my son to stay the night at their house. my son really wants to aswell but i have seen their home and it is feral. its totally dirty and messy and gross and i would rather my son did not go there. is it mean to say no and dissapoint my boy?
2007-04-03 00:58:50 · 19 answers · asked by princess_cheeks09 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I would feel the same way. If you have the other kid stay at your house, then it will be inevidable that the next time the kids will want to stay at the other house, so that excuse won't get you very far. I would simply tell the parent that he's not ready for an overnight sleepover.
2007-04-03 01:04:58 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Lucky♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is the house cluttered, or truly dirty?
Because if they just don't pick up the livingroom, and there are magazines and toys scattered everywhere, it's probably okay. If there are maggots on the counter, don't let him go, for his own safety. Do invite the boy to your house. Say "Little Johnny may be ready for a sleepover, but I'm not! I guess I'm the one with seperation anxiety, huh?" By blaming yourself, you take the mess out of the question.
If the house isn't really a health hazard but is just below your cleaning standards, send your son over. Let him make his own judgements about the lifestyle in that house as opposed to your own- don't force your judgements on him. If he doesn't like it, he'll probably start asking more to have his friend over instead of asking to go there.
And despite what some here say, few 4yos are too young for a sleepover.
2007-04-03 12:14:47 · answer #2 · answered by imjustasteph 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand you and I would probably feel the same reluctance as you do if my child's friend's house was really that dirty. I live in Albania and this year my daughter had to start nursery school. It's full of private ones here which are clean and beautiful and considerably expensive, so my husband and I decided we would take her to a public one. Well, we went to check and the environment looked so bad - dirty old carpets, no sunshine, revolting smell, 30-some children sleeping cramped on the floor in a suffocatingly small room. I just couldn't do it, although they had a very good director and wonderful teachers and a good program. I saw wonderful things created by children and still I couldn't take my daugther there. Fortunately another public nursery in the neighborhood just got renovated and my daughter is lucky to go there. In your case it is just one night and if the house is more messy than dirty, the chance is your son is going to be fine. Only he is too young. I would have a problem leaving my daugther (3 1/2 years old) overnight with people I don't know well for safety reasons. I would probably decline with the excuse the my daugther is too young for that.
2007-04-03 08:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by petyado 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know all parents have standards and ive seem some grubby homes but the kids are well cared for, You should be looking out for health hazzards, if the kids are well and if the parents are decent parents. My daughter goes to my mothers for a night on a weekend every so often and her house isnt filfthy but it isnt exactly tidy but my daughter loves going, she is fed right there, has never had an accident and i know she is safe there. If there are true health hazzards and you believe it is totally unsafe then explain to the childs mother you are not comfortable with your son sleeping away just now but are happy to have her child stay over if she would be ok with that, most mothers would accept that as some are very clingy with their kids and dont let their children stay out till around 12-15. But i didnt want my daughter crying to come home from a friedns house as a teenager so i allow her to stay out at families houses. When your child is a teen do you really think wether the house is tidy or not will put the kid off staying there, kids look past mess and dirt and most people will have a good tidy up before someone will stay the night as standard... it is your choice tho and opinions differ imensly,, do what is right for you... i do thik that i wouldnt allow her to stay at a friend house tho, family is very different from friends, my daughter is 3 and i think she will be around 20 by the time i allow her whole heartedly to stay at a friends but realistically i know she will be staying at frineds from about 8 onward, but i would make sure i knew the parents first, both mum and dad as you never know who people are.
2007-04-03 08:11:47 · answer #4 · answered by Angie 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would not allow my child to spend time in a home that dirty. I don't know, isn't 4 too young for the sleep over thing?
I'd say no at this point, but maybe invite the other kid over to spend the night at your house on another night.
2007-04-03 08:05:37 · answer #5 · answered by J F 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would just say that he is too young to be spending the night at a friend's house. It's not mean to look out for the best interests of your child. If your child is disappointed - oh well - that is not a reason to give in. There will be plenty of other things to disappoint him on as well, and the stakes will be higher.
2007-04-03 14:37:26 · answer #6 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he's a bit young for a sleepover at 4 yrs old, especially when you don't know the parents well and if they're unhygienic. I have 4 kids and always waited till they were around 8 yrs old. I mainly had their kids sleeping over my house as we are clean and you know what your kids are up to that way. I'd go with your own instinct and if it feels wrong then don't allow it, he's your child and he'll get over it.
2007-04-03 08:05:53 · answer #7 · answered by friendly face 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's nice to have a friend like that. but at 4 years old he is a little to young to be sleeping over anyone house, unless its a relative. and it is not mean to say no, and your child will be okay. he might be a little dissapointed but he will get over it, just tell him when he gets bigger than he can stay over his friends house. but right now , I would feel better if you are home with me. good luck.
2007-04-03 08:13:20 · answer #8 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, i would say no. not because the house is a mess but because he is only 4.
i have a 4 year old and i wouldn't let him sleep at a friends house. he has slept over my sisters and my mom's house, but thats as far as i would go. 4 years old is so young. my son needs help with baths, brushing his teeth, pouring drinks, tying his shoelace, and occasionally needs help with wiping his own butt. spending the night at this age is just too much.
2007-04-03 13:43:43 · answer #9 · answered by Miki 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not mean at all, We do the same thing. Ask them to stay at your home. Think of his safety too, it is not just about a dirty home these days...child predators. My oldest is fourteen and she is just now at the liberty to spend the night off. Be very careful!
2007-04-03 14:03:01 · answer #10 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋