Met this girl through work...She chased me by phone then she emailed me...after serveral texts we arranged a date...From my understanding and her texts she really fines it hard to trust and has been hurt in the past and may think people play games with her...also she said that she is a bit 'fragile' She said " lets stay friends for now, keep in contact and see what happens?".. We have not met up in 2 weeks after our first date...do you think I should back off and wait for her??...or move on..Im not after a full on relationship and I feel if she wants to be friends and for her to talk and for me to listen..Then Im here. but I do feel that its a rebound??? what do you reckon...Jamie x
2007-04-03 00:05:16 · 17 answers · asked by Jamie79 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Mate, you are open to anyone. She's the one who wants to back off. Go out with whoever you want. If she wants you she will let you know.
xxR
2007-04-03 00:10:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jamie. I think that it would be a real shame for you to miss out on the first "thunderbolts" of passion, even if you're not out for a full on thing. Sounds like this girly needs to deal with her insecurities before seeing someone again. You will probably have to do a lot emotionally hard work with this one, lots of tlc, lots of patience. Will that really be worthwhile if you're not up for a long term relationship with anyone? Will you end up hurting her accidentally if she falls for you but you find you don't want her? It's lovely that you're willing to listen to her and be a friend but if you try and take it to a relationship of any kind you may be missing out on a lady who is a bit more right for you. I'm an old (25) married fishwife but looking back on my early "men" experiences i really wish i had enjoyed it all more, not worried so much and relaxed. I'd leave it for now and if she wants to speak with you then it's her call, try not to let her add you to the list of people who have hurt her - you could probably well do without the emotional strain! Hope this helps.
2007-04-03 07:24:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a lovely considerate guy you seem to be. What i would do is just text her, just to let her know that you're still around, cos if you back right off, she may think you're not interested. Just text her asking her how she is whether she wants to just meet up for a chat, no strings attached or no hidden agenda. If you really like her, then i would stay in touch but not give it the big i am, just keep it subtle & friendly. If you back off completely, you may lose her altogether, so stay in touch but with the ball in her court & let her lead the way. Hope this helps. Good luck, but i'd think she'de be mad to let you go.
2007-04-03 07:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by CHELSEAGIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wont come to you as she wont want it to look like she's chasing you.
I think you should make contact but keep it light hearted.If the call goes well you could ask if she'd like to meet up but try to ask her on a date that isn't too romantic as she might misconstrue it. Ie,not for dinner but maybe bowling or something.That way its friendly but not like your "dating". If her confidence is low she may be reluctant to move quickly into another relationship,if you've not spoken for 2 weeks she may even feel you're not interested!
Make contact-you've nothing to lose.If you see her again-lay your cards on the table about you not wanting anything to full on-she will appreciate your honesty.
good luck
2007-04-03 07:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by bungle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say dont' get to involved just yet. Keep talking to her and give her an open invitation to going out then tell her to let you know when she is ready. If she is on the rebound, you are in for biggg trouble. You might end up the one hurt and fragile lol.
2007-04-03 07:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by Ruby C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be a rebound.. She is being careful in starting a relationship with you. Give her that chance.. Let her know you better and begin to trust you. Things should work out if you really want her.
2007-04-03 07:13:44 · answer #6 · answered by AdultMALE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to keep it as friends for now just treat her as that. Text her and ask how she doing or if she fancies meeting for a coffee that sort of thing. Tell her what you have said that you are there for her if she ever wants to talk. make sure she understands there is no pressure on your part but you would like to be friends with her
2007-04-03 07:43:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience i think that if you've been on a date with someone and then they say lets be friends and see how things go its a nice way of them saying youre not really my type. Let her come to you. If shes see's that your a good friend and arnt pushing anything she may come round.
2007-04-03 07:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by LAB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs someone to make her feel safe, she won't come to you, keep in contact if you really like her and just chat and don't pressure her for a date, she'll get to trust you more and then she'll feel safe and you can go on all the dates you want.
2007-04-03 07:09:09 · answer #9 · answered by agius1520 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Text her, she might think you're no longer interested in her once she told you she just wanted the two of you to be friends. Say smth like "shall we meet for a glass of smth and a chat?"
2007-04-03 07:13:25 · answer #10 · answered by DreamGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋