Me and my partner of 3 years broke up last night. I initiated it and i'd been thinking about it for a while, but it hurts so bad. I took for granted that I could kiss and hug him whenever I wanted and now that I can't, it feels terrible. I do still love him but there was no sexual attraction and I was more attracted to other men. I now have to sleep in a different bed, and I hate that I won't be able to reach over and hug him. I love him but I don't have any physical attraction. I just want the affection and love. What do I do???
2007-04-02 22:57:12 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
what i feel that with time in every relationship the physical attraction takes back seat and ts the real love and affection which is most important, rest r phases, at times u feel u r very attracted and at the other time u may not feel attracted but if u still feel the love for that person, i think u shud not break that relationship, i honestly feel u two shud reconsider ur decision, the physical attraction some goes and believe me it will come back again , and if u just look at this aspect u will keep changing partner every 2 yrs or may b lesser than that , but its very difficult to find true love which i think u have found, mark my words, if u leave him u will miss him for all times to come, i reaally dont give such strong opinion unless i really strong feel that ways, rest depends on u
2007-04-02 23:14:42 · answer #1 · answered by ria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do the decent thing and let this poor guy go. If it's hard for you, imagine how hard it is for him!
He deserves to be loved fully - if you're just staying with him because you need the affection, you're stopping him from finding someone who will really love him in the way he deserves to be loved.
I completely understand it must be hard for you. You are used to having him around and used to being able to depend on him. But that's not a good enough reason to stay with someone. A female friend of mine stayed with her husband because she felt they were a good team - he was her safety net. She then had an affair with me for two years. Horrible. It goes to show that you should only stay with someone if you really, truly love them - or you could cause an incredible amount of hurt later down the line.
One thing you should ask yourself if this - has there never been any sexual attraction, or has it just waned of late? After three years, you probably won't be lusting after him any more. You probably wouldn't be lusting after anyone else either! You have to decide what's important to you. My boyfriend and I don't have a particularly passionate relationship; but I am in love with him. I've felt a very strong attraction to another person; but most people in relationships do! We're all allowed to look - it's whether we'd act on it that matters. If you desperately want to be with other men, have cheated on him in the past or think you would cheat on him in the future, then let your boyfriend move on.
If there has never been an attraction for you, then let him go and be happy. It would be selfish not to. You also owe it to *yourself* to find someone you love AND fancy!
xx Emmie
EDIT: I just read one of your other questions. Was that you who asked for advice about how to attract a guy that you fancy, who you have drunkenly kissed before? Or was that someone else using your Yahoo name? If this was you, definitely let your boyfriend go. This isn't fair on him or you.
2007-04-03 06:05:25 · answer #2 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends how badly this affects you and depends on what you really want from a relationship, if you really want to make it work then explain how you feel to your ex and maybe you could work at things, but if the desire to sleep with other men is too much then leave him before you hurt him even more, hard question to answer this one depends on you and how you feel
2007-04-03 06:03:33 · answer #3 · answered by stacie_yst 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well thats what usuall happens in a break up. I can tell you what happens next if you like... Well over the next few weeks yuo'll try and get back to geather. When you do all those anoying things come back and you think - crap I hate this. Then you start using each other for sex, untill you can't take it any more and finally break up for good...
2007-04-03 06:02:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
go and tell him what you really feel.dont be so naive! make up your mind, if you think you love him then why are you attracted to other men? maybe its just an infatuation and maybe it'll just go away, dont be so weak, in love you have to be strong to fight for what you really want, If you love him and I know you do, why not go to him and tell him the truth that you were wrong and next time, be strong,dont give up on the one you love because your emotions were high, dont you ever think its unfair, bear in mind that you dont want to make a decision when your emotions are high, ok? or else you'll regret it later.
2007-04-03 06:04:01 · answer #5 · answered by ~rAveLic!oUs~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do realize...that if you do find someone you are attracted to and can love after this, that they too, well become unattractive with age?
it sounds like a very shallow reason to dump someone. but if he is really that repulsing...why did you get with him in the first place?
2007-04-03 06:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well u lost that now ,but the thing is not finally gonbe ,it was just last night?u cant still get him ,just telll him u werent thinking rite
2007-04-03 06:01:15 · answer #7 · answered by combs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you are feeling is perfectly normal...just give things time to heal and move on with your life. the pain and emptiness will resolve over time...good luck
2007-04-03 06:00:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to mend up the matter..good people not always found easily
2007-04-03 06:07:24 · answer #9 · answered by SweetHeart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop being selfish and try to find out what the real problem is and what led up to it.
2007-04-03 05:59:45 · answer #10 · answered by koalatcomics 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋