i am 36 and have been with a 20 year old for the last year. we get along great but i wonder if we really have a future together. he will turn 21 in May and we do tell each other we love one another but what are the benefits/drawbacks here? do You think it will last?
2007-04-02 22:42:51 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I guess the real thing is that you both love each other. That's great. The downfalls can be many or few depending on what you each want from the future. If things are similar eg. marriage, kids, career, house etc then you could expect to have a good future together. Growing in different directions occurs in many relationships no matter on age difference although the age in some can make the differences more significant. As long as you both communicate what you want out of the relationship I don't see why it can't work. Never say never. Best wishes for your future xxx
2007-04-02 22:55:04 · answer #1 · answered by purpleorca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've always been told that the appropriate dating ratio goes like this - divide the age of the older partner by two and add seven. So 36/2= 18, 18+7=25. So you really shouldn't be dating anyone younger than 25.
But, mathmatics aside... obviously YOU'RE unsure... otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question. I honestly think the gap is too wide. You're old enough to be his aunt... or maybe his mom if his mom was a teenager at the time (it does happen). It just seems to me that you're at very, very different points in your life... he can't even legally drink yet, and you're old enough to already have an established family. You're in that settled down part of life, he's in that party part of life. It's not like relationships with big gaps don't ever work out... but I think that in this scenario, you're in such different mindsets because he's 20 (in college I'm assuming or at least graduated from high school in the past 3 years) and you're 36 (established career, lifestyle, maybe family, etc). He's just starting to work out who he is and what he wants to do. I don't think it'll last, I'm sorry.
2007-04-03 05:53:51 · answer #2 · answered by isabelledustylo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some really mature 20 year olds out there and he may be one of them. Tread carefully as he may be at a different stage in his life but there will be no problem if you are open and honest with each other. Maybe voice your concern.
He could just be ready for something that is forever.
2007-04-03 05:49:06 · answer #3 · answered by Tinker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really wish I know the answer.
I'm about 36 too and a girl 22 years old wants to marry me, and all my friends and family tells me I'm too old for her and that I must not think for a girl less than 28-27 years old.
Besides you have advantage on me that you have love between both of you.
So if you do it and feel you did the right thing please inform me.
Thanks
2007-04-03 06:11:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's too young for you and you probably are one of the few girls he's been with, as he lack experience. At his age, he might think he's in love, but after 2-3 years when you'll be closer to 40 yrs old he will realize the feelings are not that intense and he deserves the right to see how life is and only after that to realize whom he wants for life. Don't you think so?
2007-04-03 05:47:58 · answer #5 · answered by DreamGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR NOT OLD but it wont last,i know from experience i was 30 he was 19 we told each other we loved one and other all the time we even had a baby together but he changed when he was in his twentys and become a total prat i couldnt stand him in the end he was always out with his friends and treated me like poo im well rid of him now he was selfish arrogant and vulger
2007-04-03 06:18:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
miss jenny, nothing can measure OLD...even an old person sometime do like a silly young person...
the most important thing is comin from ur deep heart... feel like a young woman is not wring at all...have ur joyfull with ur lover...
all u have to do is, control ur emotion when being with him and forget all the things that reminds u with a different age things....make the situation feel comfort for both of u, and pls have an understanding for each of u
i believe u will get along forever...
2007-04-03 05:51:44 · answer #7 · answered by vio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want it to last it will last, other people may feel awkward but at the end of the day if there is commitment, love and respect then there is a chance for a good relationship...
2007-04-03 05:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by chaminda l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one thing is clear in any society this would be considered as odd or like you have some how trapped the small boy i am not refering to its merit as wrong or right
in such situation it is very unlikely to have it continued for a longer or life time however it its turned the other way you would have crossed the period where such relations are important by age wise
after that you can manage with any average old man
2007-04-03 06:02:36 · answer #9 · answered by Caring 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a pretty big age difference especially at this age group. Also, men generally mature more slowly then women and 20 is still pretty young...Guess it's up to the two of you but I would doubt that this will last
2007-04-03 05:49:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋