Deep question. Only serious answers please?

Question

So basically my whole life has fallen apart over the past year. I'm 16 years old and allowed my friend to live with me for about 6 months. She was 17, was very controlling, I felt bad for her and let her live there. She then moved back in with her mother. A week later I found out she was with my dad and since then everything has came out about there relationship. I mean they were even having sex. After he said he was so sorry I told him if I found out that he saw her again i would disown him. Which he did but I didn't. My mother tried killing herself and stayed in the hosp. for a week and just got out. I am no longer in school and I'm only working about 4 hours a week. I got in a fight with this girl even though i'v never fought before. And more drama that can even fit. I used to have the "perfect" life a year ago like one that you would see on a movie. Nothing seems real. I wish I hadn't taken my old life for granite. What would you do in my position with your life.???

She told him if he broke up with her she would press charges on him. Which she is doing now and I have to go to court for tomorrow. And my mother is still staying with my father. I hate talking to people about this since it's very embarressing so I figure I would put this on here were no one will ever know me.

Answer 1

Wow, you are so young to be thinking so hard about this and letting it bother you so much. You obviously care about your parents which is very considerate of you, but surely they are grown adults and are able to make decisions on their own and bear the consequences of their actions. If your father wants to be involved with an underage girl, by all means let him do so, when he gets charges pressed against him and gets into trouble, well that is his problem and he will have to deal with it. Your mother has a serious problem and it is good that sje is trying to get help, but the only thing that you can really do is be supportive of her, nothing you say can really change her mind or actions. So just be supportive but stay out of the way. You are so young to be letting these things ruin your life, you should be out with your friends having fun, and most importantly GOING TO SCHOOL! School is so important it is the foundation of your life, you will regret it for the rest of your life if you drop out for good. Your father and mother are adults and can take care of themselves. Do you have any older relatives that you think you can live with while you go to school? I am sure there is someone in your family that is responsible enough to take care of you while you finish school. Please look into that option. Please take care of yourself and try to get back to school ASAP and live your life it is yours and only yours!

Best Wishes

Answer 2

What a horrible situation for you. You have been let down by the very people who should be always be there for you, your parents. Whatever you feel towards your friend, I hope you understand your father is very much in the wrong. Your friend, your mother and your father all obviously need professional help, and I hope for your sake you seek out professional help also. You have been thrust into a position that makes you feel responsible for the actions of others. You are NOT responsible, your parents are ultimately the ones who allowed this girl to move in, that chose to have sex with her and that chose to commit a very selfish act (your mother) without thinking of the well being of her daughter. What should you do? Find some help from a professional in your area, even if it's just a group counseling; they may have some solutions for you. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

Wow, that is more than anyone should have to go through. Your Dad exhibited MAJOR bad judgment, and it is biting him now. As an adult it was his responsibility to keep this from happening and he didn't. Your "friend" is NOT your friend either. There are a lot of things we can't control in life. Concentrate on the things you CAN control.

First: Go back to school. The normalizing routine should help to stabilize what you're going through. Throw yourself into your studies. You'll see through getting good grades that there are things you can control.

If necessary, maybe there is a relative you could stay with. A grandparent or Aunt/Uncle might be willing to let you stay with them while you finished high-school. This would allow you some stability in what will be at best a bumpy ride. Schools also have counselors which can help you put this all in perspective. Good luck. E-mail me if you need to talk.

Answer 4

I would respect your mother's wishes. Your dad, although a little bent, is human. Everybody makes mistakes, some more than others grant you, but nobody is perfect! As for the girl......I hate to say this, but you should probably try to forgive her too. That doesn't mean that you have to be her friend! I would definitely try to pretend she doesn't exist! But the fact of the matter is, the only person that will suffer from you not being able to forgive is unfortunately you. Your dad is your dad......the only one that you will ever have, and take it from someone who just recently lost their own father........life is way way way too short to let ANYTHING come between a father and a daughter, no matter how big or small! But that other chick....she's nothing......nothing at all. And if she isn't a nothing to you yet, I would try like heck to make it that way ASAP!!!!!! Good Luck!!!!

Answer 5

Don't do a mind job on yourself. Your dad has done something super stupid by allowing himself to make this type of mistake. Nonetheless, what other people think doesn't matter. Your best course of action is to get back in school and make your own way to a bright future. None of this is your fault and there isn't much you can do about it. Therefore, you are being consumed with worry over something beyond your control. Life rarely works out according to plan. Your mom and/or dad may never fully recover from this, but you can...and that's what you should think about. Don't listen to those who might try to pass judgment. Also, I understand how you feel about your dad, but he is only human too...far from perfect. Despite your hate for what he's done, you don't want to shut him out of your life completely. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. Make it a good one. Enjoy!

And for those who suggest turning to prayer...god bless...if that was the answer, she wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. Ask Ted Haggard...he'll confirm my point. Let's get real and take control of our own lives.

Answer 6

One can never try to imagine what someone else is going through so im not gona even try to say i know how you feel

All i want to say is that nobody gets put into a situation which they are not cable of handling everyone of us gets obstacles along the way one's obstacle may seems bigger that the person next to you.

The obstacles can only make you stronger just keep on believing and everything will turn out great
This is a tough situation but dont let it get you under

Answer 7

My heart goes out to you. It is not your fault if your good deed backfired. Your Father is old enough to resist this girl who no doubt lured him into her bed. You must allow your mother to decide what she wants to do about him. He is your Father, right or wrong and at some point you need to forgive him and just love him for the Daddy he has been. Forgiveness is the only way back to what you all once were as a family, Blame placing is like picking at a sore- it never heals.

Answer 8

You can't blame yourself for what happened...The situation seems very complicated though...Have no useful advise I'm
afraid...I believe you should talk to that girl though, trying to
evoke some kind of consciousness within her soul if she got
one...If she's a total pig, which I'm afraid she is, than try to
console your poor mother somehow if you can...Whatever comes out of this jumble don't forget you're young, you have
your life to live, find something to take your mind somewhere
else ( don't go for drugs, for Christ sake !! ) You should try to be decent human being, honestly working and earning your
salary, try some steady job, it'll make you independent and
it'll lessen your frustration greatly !

Answer 9

The only thing you can do sweetheart is to pray. Let your mother know how much you love her and your father too because he just did something really stupid and he is paying the consequences thats all. This is the time when families should come together. Maybe you all should come together and talk this out and be brutally honest. Be sure to be there for your mom because none of this is worth her life. Pray and I will pray for you as well sweetie :) This is just a test :)

Answer 10

wow this is some deep stuff. but personally i would step back, take a deep breath and try to sort things out. First off that girl was obviously using ur dad and he is selfish for only thinking of himself since that girl was ur friend and she didnt tell u about what was going on. I would try to go back to school and at least get your high school diploma and try to stay away from them as much as possible. i hope that helps.