I can't help but to be a little jealous of some single people I know who have no children. Please do not get the wrong idea I adore my children and the thought of not having them literally makes me cry, I just feel sometimes I am not good enough 4 them or that I am failing in all areas. Am I just being a "crybaby" or does any 1 else feel this way. I am just over whelmed sometimes.. I feel awful because it's not their fault( and 4 the record I would never let my babies know I feel this way)
2007-04-02 20:38:15 · 13 answers · asked by Bishop's Mom 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My children are 12, 9, 4 and 7 months
2007-04-02 20:47:04 · update #1
I am the father of five. 32, 31, 26, 22, 5months...Yes I said 5months...
We are never good enough...That's the definition of a good parent .We want the best for them....So we must be the best..
But we are just human with limited means...At least I'm not rich...Most of what Ive ever earned has gone to them..
But as I look back to my parents I know that I had the best parents in the world (They have both passed on.) Not because of what they bought me.
They gave me dignity...compassion...duty....love.
They showed me that those are the things that you cant buy..
We parents will literally give up our selfish lives for them and they will see that. If we were to simply leave money for our children and nothing else they will not be full and happy in life.
So give those children the special things that you have..The knowledge...The direction...And the love of right and of God..
And when we are gone then the world ,through our children, will be better...Because we were here.
2007-04-02 21:06:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Every mother at some point thinks they aren't good enough for their children. If you ask me thats what proves you are the best thing that they could ever have because you only want the best for them. When the little ones are older and you dont have to get a sitter when you want to do things alone you won't be one bit jealous because you get to do anything and everything other single people do but you have WAY more then they do. You have children who love you and you love and no joy or love in the world can overcome that.
2007-04-03 03:50:25 · answer #2 · answered by Cowgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you just need a break. I also have 4 children, ages 18, 12, 3, and 2 It seems like im alaways working, and cleaning and never get anything accomplished. get a sitter and have a night out with hubbie. I know that with kids so spaced appart you get different issues. your dealing with toddler issues, teen issues, infant issues and grade school issues all at once, It reall makes your head spin sometimes.one wants to borrow the car while the outher has diaper rash. and you have to get the laundry done before you have to go to work. sound famillar. well just hang in there. beleive it or not, after they have all grown, youll be so board that youll be looking for your grandkids. one thing that we have that single people dont have s people that love us, and the thought of growing old and having a big loving family to come visit us.
good luck, dont get too stressed.
2007-04-03 07:02:40 · answer #3 · answered by eightieschick70 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not feeling anything that any other mother or father hasn't felt.
I have a four-year-old daughter who is my entire life, but that doesn't mean I don't envy the childless couples I see living large and doing all the things that single adults get to do.
Don't worry, it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mom, it makes you normal so long as you don't allow the feelings to overwhelm you to the point that you want to abandon it all. It's all about a fair balance.
When I feel envious of those single people, I just remind myself that they don't get to enjoy all the artwork that is hanging on our refrigerator door; they don't get to enjoy the bedtime stories and bathtub crayon streaks on the walls; they don't get to enjoy hearing the precious sound of a little voice saying, "I love you, Mommy" or "I love you, Daddy." They also don't get to enjoy the total oblivion that is experienced through the eyes of a child; to see nature and bugs in a completely different light; to question why boy dogs lift their legs to pee but girl dogs don't LOL; or if chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows.
Then there of course are the knock-knock jokes. It amazes me that my daughter has been telling the same knock-knock jokes for over a year now and she still finds them funny as ever. That just goes to show that kids do indeed appreciate more than we think they do. How dreadful of us to complain about them spilling juice on their shirts and leaving stains when they're too busy showing off their jokes that everyone has heard but yet they still find funny. If anything, I've learned more from my daughter than she's even learned from me.
I have had far better conversations with my daughter than I have had with many adults! You are blessed and I'm glad to see you realize you are blessed! Have a fantastic day!
2007-04-03 03:40:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty normal to go through a little "what if" speculation.
I wouldn't worry about it unless it becomes an obsession or unless it causes your behavior to change.
I'm 65 years old, and I get a little jealous sometimes of younger people because I'd like to have that youth all over again. But I would have to give up my two terrific sons and my marriage and all the good things that have happened in my life.
You care. That makes you good enough.
2007-04-03 03:49:05 · answer #5 · answered by Warren D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No i think it's normal for us to be jealous of the people without babies but yet again we have made a huge sacrifice and even though we wouldn't swap our kids for the world you still know that they only think of themselves and they can go out whenever and to wherever they want whereas we need babysitters and worry constantly when we aren't at home with them and lets face it when was the last time you put yourself before anyone else, i bet you can't even remember i know i can't. All mothers i know have all thought at one stage that we aren't good enough but you know what we are the only mothers they know so as far as they are concerned we are the best mothers.
2007-04-03 03:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just found out that I am six weeks pregnant, and I waited a while to have my child. I've been married three years. I understand completely why you would envy your single friends.
how old are your kids? is there a way that you could put them in childcare just one day a week, so you can give yourself a much needed break. that sounds like that would do wonders for you.
or maybe your spouse could take them on a weekend day so you could go shopping alone.
I would talk to him about it and see if you could work something out.
2007-04-03 03:43:25 · answer #7 · answered by georgiegirl422 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you sound like you may have post pardom depression
this feeling is typical though
try going out on your own for a few hours have your hubby stay home with the kids and go to a spa get a back massage or nails done or something like that
if you cant afford that just have your hubby watch your kids and go take a nap or go grocery shopping or run errands that need to be done
trust me this is very helpful
2007-04-03 03:47:54 · answer #8 · answered by squeaker 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dear, dont feel like this...
its perfectly normal to feel this way! u may feel jealous of the adults who dont have children, but that simply doesnt mean u hate ur children... Have a close look at those adults, maybe they feel jealous about u, ur having kids n spending happy-time-with-family!!!
so, No Worries!!!
2007-04-03 03:50:40 · answer #9 · answered by admire me 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Perfectly normal. We lose some of ourselves to be parents. We gain a lot in exchange but we are always going to miss the good ol days at times. Especially when it is a tough day.
2007-04-03 03:41:13 · answer #10 · answered by mommy_supplies_dot_com 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋