I have just been told that my grand mother might not be around for my wedding in sept '08. i would really like to have all my grandparents there. should i sacrifice my wedding plans and go for something simpler, sooner just to have her there or continue on with my plans and pray she is still around? I am not very close with her but i would still like her there.
2007-04-02 18:56:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
she has been battling cancer the last few years with success until this last time and now she will be on chemo.
2007-04-02 19:38:13 · update #1
I knew a couple, they moved their big wedding up a year so her mother, who was dying of cancer, could be there. The groom felt rushed but went along with it because everyone felt it was the best solution. His mistake.
The bride's mother was wheeled into the church in a wheelchair, and could not attend the reception. The maid of honor started to cry while giving the toast and it was kind of uncomfortable. The bride's mother died while the couple was on their honeymoon, and they had to come back.
The marriage lasted about two and a half years, they have been separated six years, and can't agree about the finances. No kids. What a mess.
My aunt died, not exactly expectedly, a week before her least favorite grandson's wedding. At the funeral, everyone told him, "see you Saturday". The wedding went on as planned.
You just can't time these things. Life happens, you can only figure what will be best given what you know now. Make your best guess about when to have your wedding, and what kind of wedding it will be, and you might be happy, you might not. It is all any of us can do.
2007-04-03 02:12:12 · answer #1 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Only God knows when our time is up. My Uncle suffers from Agen (spelling)? orange cancer he got in Vietnam, When I got married he was a DJ at the time and my parents kept saying for 6 mos before the wedding he would not make it to my wedding. 14 years later he is still with us. My parents for the last 5 years have been making frequent trips to my Grandparents in another state because "my grandpa was going to die" He is still alive. Very sick but still alive. I am so sorry for your Grandmothers illness and I don't mean to sound unsympathetic at all but none of us even know if we have a tomorrow. Your grandmother could get into a car accident on the way to her next chemo appt and not make it. But with all that said you need to do whats in your heart. Talk to her and see what she thinks of the idea. As far as JP now and wedding next year I think that is just to spread apart. You could do a simple small wedding at a low cost. I do like what someone said up above..weddings are one day and marriage is a lifetime.
2007-04-03 00:14:54 · answer #2 · answered by Ladybugs77 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
How about if you plan a special day or evening with just you, your fiance and your grandmother. Ask her to share special times of her life or advice for your future. It doesn't have to been seen as an "in case you're not here for our wedding" evening, just a special time with the three of you. Then if she doesn't live long enough to celebrate your marriage, you'll have that special time with her to remember.
A wedding is for the bride and groom, even though everyone else seems to have opinions that you do have to take into account.
Who is paying for the wedding? Was the comment made to get you to consider a smaller wedding sooner to save money rather than come out and say it's too expensive (just a thought).
2007-04-02 19:39:39 · answer #3 · answered by dashelamet 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
i imagine numerous the human beings who replied this neglected the point of the quote. "actual each man or woman might want to get married atleast once of their life time, no man or woman benefits to sense free all their life" potential if you're married, then you will be unhappy in the course of the marriage. i imagine he's quoting the standpoint of a cynic who's had undesirable marriages. a lot are undesirable like that because many each man or woman is immature in relationships, and marry for the incorrect causes, yet mutually, some human beings finally end up in spectacular marriages which do no longer damage aside like that. on the turn area even with the reality that, no marriage is ideal, so all would have complications, even with this life is an similar (even with the actual shown reality that i do no longer have self assurance this interpretation became considered by the author). Assuming you're judging actual or pretend on the idea of "each man or woman desires to journey some thing which received't be pleasant yet is area of life" (and by no potential even if marriage is or isn't undesirable), then i'd say the reality is actual to an quantity (I agree, yet i do no longer imagine everybody might want to be forced to do some thing, in problem-free words counseled, subsequently I disagree with using "might want to"). Convuluted answer i think, yet given how Lord Bryon worded it, there are some countless issues to assert. Or to paraphrase; actual, yet i imagine he's being overly cynical and has debateable premises for his argument.
2016-10-17 22:52:12 · answer #4 · answered by venturino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are they judging her "time left" by? Age alone, or are there other issues?
If she has cancer or something and they can fairly surely say that she wont last that long (and she isnt bedridden) then I would consider moving up the date. However, if they are basing it on her age alone, or if she is bedridden, there is not really a reason to move it up... she could pass away tomorrow or 10 yrs from now if they are basing it only on her age. If she is bedridden she would likely be unable to make it anyway, no matter how badly she would like to.
Just keep in mind, that being "old" is not as quick a death sentence as it was 75 yrs ago... people now live much older than they used to.
2007-04-02 19:01:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
My Oma (Dutch for Grandmother) recently passed away January 23.
If I was in your situation... it would mean more to me that she is there.
A wedding is one day... a marriage is a lifetime.
Celebrate your big day with the people you love the most!!!
I am married... but my Oma got Cancer before she passed.
I am sorry she will not be here to meet her great Grandchildren.
I am sorry they will never know her.
She was the most wonderful person in the World!
Family is Everything <3
2007-04-02 19:35:56 · answer #6 · answered by love for art 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
your grandmother would want you to have the wedding of your dreams. if you change all of your plans just to have her there you will pile a ton of guilt on her shoulders. going through chemo is enough for anyone without having something else hanging over their head.
in my opinion keep your plans and hope for the best for your grandmother. death is unfortunately a fact of life as i have found out in the last few years. i also know that having something important to look forward to will somehow make someone hold on so they can share some great memories with loved ones before they go.
i understand what you're going through and i feel for you. i hope it all works out.
2007-04-03 01:03:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
You could always have a commitment ceremony or get legally married in a small ceremony for your Grandma and then still have your dream wedding at the set date. I had a commitment ceremony before I got married and it's the best choice I even made in my life, because my Grandmother did not make it to my original wedding date.
2007-04-03 03:44:07 · answer #8 · answered by I heart pineapple soda 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
its up to you and your husband to be. You both are the ones that will have to deal with this long after the grandparent passed away. Good luck to you and congrats.
2007-04-02 19:04:48 · answer #9 · answered by Mary 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think it would be sweet of you to do a simple wedding with her there.
You could always do a renewal of vows at a later date.
2007-04-03 01:18:42 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋