if i already told him that i would have sex with him, and he's all happy about it how can i tell him im not ready? i mean i know he'll understand im just scared to tell him. he's been talking about it for a while now and both of us have it well planned out. how?
2007-04-02 13:21:21 · 45 answers · asked by ninacoqueta0817 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don;t think you do "know he'll understand". Otherwise you wouldnt be "just scared to tell him". And your answer is no sex. If you are not ready the answer is alwasy NO SEX! You can do it later but you can;t go back and undo it.
2007-04-02 13:24:16 · answer #1 · answered by Betsy 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would do it apologetically, but remember that you're not apologizing for not being ready for sex. That's nothing to apologize FOR. The only thing to regret is that you said something which made him happy but you have to go back on it. It doesn't make you a bad person, a liar, or a flip-flopper, it makes you human.
If he's a decent guy, he'll understand. It may even bring you closer to know that you can share anything with him. If he reacts badly, take it as a red flag. He shouldn't try to push you into sex, and that includes guilting you for changing your mind.
2007-04-02 13:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by Burger Boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever happened to spontaneity? Stop planning it and just let it happen...when you're hot and groovin', just let it happen and you'll be happier in the long run. The more you think about it and put a whole lot of emphasis on the act, the more overwhelming it becomes! Sex is not that big a deal; after all, animals have been doing it for millions of years; there's very little chance you'll get it wrong when you you try it for the first time!
2007-04-02 13:27:24 · answer #3 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie you just have to tell him that you want him to be your first, but you're just not ready yet. I know it's hard, but like I told you in my email I've done it! And the guy was a few years older than me in my case but he still understood. If your bf can't respect your decision then he isn't someone you want to stay with, but it really sounds like he loves you so I'm sure he'll understand! Don't be afraid to tell him! You have to be comfortable telling him anything before you have sex. Don't worry, everything will be ok! Like I mentioned before, email me anytime :)
2007-04-02 13:29:21 · answer #4 · answered by Green-eyed Nikki 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok that you have changed your mind and aren't sure you're ready now. Don't rush into it until you are sure it's the right thing for you now and the timing is right. If he cares about you as much as he says he does, he will be patient and understanding and won't push you into anything you aren't comfortable with. You want it to be a good experience and a special time so don't do it until you are sure you're ready.
2007-04-02 13:28:49 · answer #5 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you thought it over and the answer is no. You don't think your ready and he should respect that. It's YOUR body and YOUR choice. If he really cares he will respect that and you. If he throws a tantrum and a hissy fit then kick him to the curb. There are like a million million other guys out there he really isn't that special. Now if your 90 and a virgin then give it up.
2007-04-02 13:27:02 · answer #6 · answered by John K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to be open with him. If he really cares about you then he will understand. If he keeps pushing for it, then you may have to step back and look at the whole relationship. He may just want sex from you and nothing more. Stand your ground, if your not ready then your not ready.
2007-04-02 13:28:44 · answer #7 · answered by julio p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you said that he would understand, just tell him the truth. Just tell him you're just not ready. If he takes it the wrong way, you'll be glad that you found out he was a jerk before you made love to him.
2007-04-02 13:25:35 · answer #8 · answered by TRULEY MADLY DEEPLEY 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not ready means no. You should tell him sooner than later. If he loves you truly and its not just a front for the sex he will understand and respect your decision.
2007-04-02 13:24:45 · answer #9 · answered by narcisscus24 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You're definitely not ready if you're asking this here instead of discussing it with him.
So you're doing the right thing so far by deciding NOT to rush into it. The next step is to break it to him gently. If he bolts... just be glad you didn't waste it on him. If he stays around... learn to converse with him intimately with all your thoughts and feelings BEFORE you give him your body.
Best of everything, sweetie!
2007-04-02 13:28:25 · answer #10 · answered by Kia A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋