My son turned 4yrs old 3 months ago - He has always refused to even sit on the potty/toilet - He is a smart kid, knows that he has to go - He is my 3rd boy and I never had this problem with them(first 2) - Try bribing, threaten to take toys away - I would like to hear from someone who had this happen to them and what can I do??????? Thanks.
2007-04-02 13:09:45 · 9 answers · asked by sta z 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I had this issue with my 2nd son, and have seen several friends go through it as well. Always with boys! (sigh)
IMO, the best thing you can do for yourself *and* for your son is to completely back off of the potty training issue for a month or two. It doesn't matter what method you use, how compliant your child is, with potty training you are dealing with a young child who has ultimate control of the final outcome. Considering that voiding the bladder and bowels is such a personal and intimate body function, that is exactly as it should be!
Here's what I did: I told my son that he was welcome to go potty the way *he* wanted to, but his diapers were gone and all we had were his underwear. I told him I wasn't going to be angry if he went in his underwear, but that I would be very happy/proud/pleased if he went in the toilet. And I told him I was leaving the choice up to him, I wouldn't be bothering him or asking him about the potty any more because I could see it was making him sad, and I didn't want him to be sad.
He was ok about wearing the underwear, but he just wet and pooped in them for a week or so. When he was wet, I just helped him (very little) change into dry clothes, made some small comment like "oh, you're wet" with just a hint of sadness or disappointment in my voice. But I didn't say anything else about it, or pressure him to try harder to use the toilet next time, or anything like that.
Within about a week, week and a half, he started using the toilet to pee, all by himself. :) He decided it was just not fun to be wet all the time, had gotten slightly rashy a few times from walking around in wet clothes for a while before telling me he was wet, etc. He just made the choice, and from that day on he went pee in the toilet.
It was quite a while, several months in fact, before he was ready to poop in the toilet. I let him be about that in the meantime, only making those slightly sad comments that his undies were messy, or he'd stained his clothes, or whatnot. It was his responsibility to come to me for help if he pooped; even if I smelled him for 1/2 hr. I didn't go search him out and ask him if he messed his pants. He was also responsible for as much of the cleanup as possible, but he usually had very unformed poops, so more often than not he really needed my help to some extent to get them off without making a bigger mess. I did get fed up with the poopy pants after a while, and asked my close friend who'd been through this with both of her boys at the time. She had started giving them a cool bath after messing their pants, saying that the poop germs could only be washed off with cold water (not icy, just cooler than feels comfortable).
It was summertime, and my son was a little over 4, so I decided to give it a try. He screamed bloody murder! He hated that cool water, but I very calmly and patiently explained to him that he had the poop germs all over him, and they had to be washed off so he wouldn't get rashy (he'd gotten rashy enough times to know well that he didn't like it at all). I think we did this a handful of times, before he came to me one day and told me he wanted to poop in the potty! We still had a few more accidents after that, but from that point on our potty struggles were pretty much over with.
I hope this is helpful to you in figuring out your son's potty issues! I know how frustrating it is, but just remember in the end it really is his choice. Try to make the choice as appealing as possible, while still respecting him in the process. Best of luck.
2007-04-02 13:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by LaundryGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem with my daughter. She was scared of the toilet or something. So i tried everything, and i think i got a little drastic. I let her run around without a pull up, and let her pee her pants. And she didn't like that one bit. So I just told her she should have went to the potty, and let her stay in her wet clothes for a minute or two, then i'd change her and told her the next time she'll stay in her wet clothes. And it worked, she was going to the potty.
2007-04-02 13:20:22 · answer #2 · answered by michelle s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a nanny for a little girl (4) and her mom wanted me to punish her when she had an accident. I decided that I would limit her TV time because she would get involved in a movie or a show and not want to get up to use the bathroom. If she was watching a movie I would pause it after about 30 minutes and tell her if she went potty I would turn it back on. If she peed in her pants she had to stop everything she was doing and have a bath...and she HATED bathes. Have you tried the disposible training pants that turn cool when they detect a small amount of wetness? I just bought a package of those for my 2 1/2 year old last night and am going to start using those tomorrow.
2007-04-02 13:16:33 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My son didn't want anything to do with the potty either. Have you tried just taking diapers away. When I potty trained my son I just made him walk around without bottoms on for a few days. About three accidents later he was going potty in the big toilet. Good Luck
2007-04-02 13:15:13 · answer #4 · answered by sd03bc06 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The same exact thing happened to my little brother! He would not use the potty and would always pee on himself. One day my mom ran out of Pull-Ups and decided she wouldn't buy no more because the cost to much to be wasted every 5 minutes so she just started putting underwear on my little brother. He peed on himself the first time but after that he never peed on himself not even in the bed and hes only 2 1/2. So just start putting Underwear and boxers on him and he will not like the feelimg of being wet. And trust me this will work!
2007-04-02 13:33:34 · answer #5 · answered by Queen 4 Eva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the problems in todays society, is the use of the ultra-absorbent training diapers. They are so absorbent that they cause very little discomfort to the child when wet or dirtied, giving them little incentive to try to use the potty. Put regular underwear on him and tell him what a big fine boy he is to be wearing them, and tell him you just know he won't want to dirty them. After a couple of mishaps, he will probably start heading for the potty.
2007-04-02 13:22:13 · answer #6 · answered by 13th Floor 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make a game. put a few cheerios in the toilet and tell him to aim and try to sink em. my boy insisted on sitting like mommy but for some reason had to get totally naked in process and ran out of time more often than not. This idea was passed on and now he stands up to whiz and thinks this is great fun
2007-04-02 13:15:45 · answer #7 · answered by alfthecarpenter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my brother! My parents just put him on the toilet and wouldn't let him off. It took like three hours! after he finally used the restroom he told us he was afraid of wetting the bed and was trying to just hold it all in!
2007-04-02 13:15:12 · answer #8 · answered by pbandjulia 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Our little girl was like that .We let her clean her own clothes and she finaly got out of that .
2007-04-02 13:16:38 · answer #9 · answered by purpal2002002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋