What do you do when your toddler cry a lot for no reason? What do I do I'm about to go crazy?

Question

I have a two year old son that crys a lot for no reason he just won't stop...for example if someone touch his face, if he hear the words no and wait a mintue, or for no reason he just crys....don't get me wrong he is a happy kid but he crys more than he smile because everyone spoil him so much...we are trying to stop it by not giving him everything that he wants also sometimes he don't even listen.....we have tried spanking him but we had to stop because he went back hitting kids at school so I need advice what to do

Answer 1

Sounds like he needs structure in his life. Set schedules of things throughout the day he can do...terrible twos* can be quite frustrating. THey definately don't like the word NO* or wait a minute...
Now that the nice weather is here...you both can get out for walks..play in the park...or fingerpainting at home, or coloring...learning a b c's....You have to be consistant...if you say NO* you mean No! you can't change your mind and allow him whatever it is you're saying no to...Also try not to use the word NO*....perhaps saying Not Right Now...but maybe later"....you also can't "reason" with a 2 yr old. ...but he has to learn that crying doesn't get him anywhere. There is NO NEED to Spank a child for ANY reason*..you are right..they see it as an ok thing to do* and begin hitting other ppl as he's learned it from his parents.
Try to make his day more Fun* than arguing with a 2yr old...also take some 'down time' with him, at the library or at home reading a book together, with lots of pictures..do hand paintings to hang on the fridge,..hang in there....your son is in the stage where he's trying to voice his thoughts to you but can't quite express them fully yet....so just stay calm...and again..dont try to reason with a 2yr old. You're the parent. He will learn. Consistancy is the key...GOODLUCK*

Answer 2

Firstly, toddlers never cry for NO reason. There is always a reason, even if you don't understand or know what it is. He knows why. You admit it's because he was spoiled. You say if you say the word no and wait, he will cry. OK. So... don't wait. Say no and go about your business. You're waiting for a response from him, and he's giving you the response he thinks you're waiting for.

Just like when he was an infant, check to see if he's could be hot, cold, uncomfortable, in pain, thirsty(not hungry, at this age he eats when you let him eat, with the family or risk teaching over eating).
You say he cries when someone touches his face. Have you brought this to the attention of his pediatrician? Maybe there is something medical causing that, or maybe he is teething and it hurts.

If he continues to cry after checking all these things, then just ignore it. I know it hard, but believe me, after a while, when he realizes that it's not getting him the attention he wants, he'll stop and try something new. But it's going to depend on you to show him what behavior gets him what he wants. My mother told me when my little one was brand new, "if she ever throws a tantrum, even if it's in the middle of the grocery store, step over her and keep walking. When she realizes it didn't work, she'll stop. Even if it takes several months, it will stop." She was right. My daughter threw ONE tantrum, and never did again because I stepped over her, not speaking, and kept walking. And I kept that method with modifications. Today 15 years later, the rule is still, the more you ask, the more the answer is no. We don't reward ill behavior and poor self control.
Your toddler is in school? You mean daycare? or school? If you mean school, why is a toddler in school?

Talk to the daycare/school teacher. More than likely she/he will have some education in early childhood. She will be able to explain to you the concept of positive and negative reinforcement.

Answer 3

Well you need for everyone who has been giving him thing and to stop spoiling him and tell them how hard it is for you. You can try this idea. If you know of some of them who spoil him ask them to take him for a week and make sure you point out not to spoil him as you can't get him to stop it. all your son is doing is playing on your feeling and if you let it get that way it will get bad. You can try these..keep telling him know and walk away and some time he will see sooner or later your not going to give in and he should start to stop..if not have the others to take him like i said above, since they are the ones who spoil him to..they have to help break this habit..you can also try playing with him..take him to a park with a ball or a dog..or anything..or take him to a sandbox and make things in it for him..

Answer 4

He cries to get your attention and he is an actor. Spanking him will only get him crying more. If you have the time sit down on the floor (his level) and talk to him but don't touch him. Say stuff like,are you having a tough time about something,you are making mommy sad too. And you know how tough it is to grow up, and all the stuff that he learned to do.You understand everything. Don't give him anything, just talk to him in the softest voice you can muster. Be eye to eye and tell all things you both do. Remember that his job is to drive you crazy and give you grey hair.

Answer 5

Two year olds are NOT patient people. They are *learning* patience, but it's definitely not something they pick up from the first lesson, or learn overnight. You are expecting way too much of such a little person. He is just learning to speak, let along to use that speech to express himself clearly. Spanking a child because they don't know how to express themselves is totally counterproductive. He doesn't know what how you want him to behave, because your example is confusing! He sees you getting frustrated, irritated, angry, and then striking out to smack his bottom. To a 2 yr. old's mind, that isn't a lesson in how to behave correctly, it's a lesson in how to behave the same you just behaved toward him.

I just answered another question about 2 yr. old whining behavior. I'm going to just cut & paste it into this one, because almost everything in it applies to meltdowns and tantrums as well as whining:

If you have a toddler who isn't very verbal yet, you can teach a few simple (and improvised/made up) signs for common needs and wants. Lots of praise for any attempts to communicate without whining, even if it's grabbing your hand and leading you to the thing they want (or want you to do for them).

Here are some tactics I've used with my toddlers:

"Use your words" (give them the words to describe what you think they're trying to say)

Restating what I think they want and letting them answer yes or no if that's what they're trying to say

Ask them to lead me to the thing they want (or want me to do for them)

Ask them to start over again in their big boy/big girl voice

Tell them my ears can't hear whiny voices today, but they'll be able to hear nice asking voices perfectly

Talk to them in full sentences because they really can understand most everything you say at this age

When they seem close to whining or melting down, describe their feelings to them and empathize: "You're getting so angry because you want to watch another DVD." "I see how tired you are because you're so cranky right now." "You must be so sad that all of your bubbles got spilled." Just letting them know that you can see/understand their feelings is often enough to short-circuit the upcoming meltdown.

I know there are others, but it's bathtime for my little angel. :)

Answer 6

Now you know why it's called 'terrible twos'.

Just ride it out.
Ignore the tantrums.
No-one likes to hear 'wait a minute'- a minute to a two year year old is an eternity! Have some more patience, and try playing to distract him, perhaps burst into a rendition of his favourite nursery rhyme...
If that fails, sit on the floor and throw a strop of your own!