How to deal with a whiny two year old who wants to get his way?

Question

He is a really good boy, but the whining is non stop

Answer 1

Eileen's suggestions ROCK! That's exactly what I've done with my children and they have learned pretty quickly to try again with a big boy or big girl voice. My youngest is almost 3 and she loves to say my name or her father's over and over and over and... to get our attention. "Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama..." I'm sure you've heard that one before! I just remind her "say, 'Excuse me please, Mama'," and she is good to go.

If you have a toddler who isn't very verbal yet, you can teach a few simple (and improvised/made up) signs for common needs and wants. Lots of praise for any attempts to communicate without whining, even if it's grabbing your hand and leading you to the thing they want (or want you to do for them).

Here are some tactics I've used with my toddlers:

"Use your words" (give them the words to describe what you think they're trying to say)

Restating what I think they want and letting them answer yes or no if that's what they're trying to say

Ask them to lead me to the thing they want (or want me to do for them)

Ask them to start over again in their big boy/big girl voice

Tell them my ears can't hear whiny voices today, but they'll be able to hear nice asking voices perfectly

Talk to them in full sentences because they really can understand most everything you say at this age

When they seem close to whining or melting down, describe their feelings to them and empathize: "You're getting so angry because you want to watch another DVD." "I see how tired you are because you're so cranky right now." "You must be so sad that all of your bubbles got spilled." Just letting them know that you can see/understand their feelings is often enough to short-circuit the upcoming meltdown.

I know there are others, but it's bathtime for my little angel. :)

Best of luck! Enjoy your sweetie; it sounds like you have a pretty good handle on things and just need a few suggestions to help you enjoy each other more! :)

Answer 2

I have a two year old daughter. When she whines honestly I just tell her that I don't listen to whining and I ignore the behavoir until she stops. Maybe try asking him to ask nicely for something instead of whining. I know it's toddlers are tough. You'll find a way. Test things out. Really whatever makes you comfortable is best.

Answer 3

This is why it's called 'terrible twos'. Basically to illeviate the whining, you have to give in a little. But not all the way all the time, that'll just make things worse. Sometimes, you'll just have to deal with the whining.

Answer 4

Tell him that you love to talk to him but as long as he whines you can't understand what he's saying so he'll has to have a time out until the whining stops.

Another thing you could try is to whine when you talk to him.

Answer 5

Ignore the whining he is doing it to get his way part of "the terrible twos" once you give in it will continue. If you can't stand it put him in his room with a child gate up, grab some headphones and ignore.

Answer 6

My almost four year old has always been a whiney kid. Now that he's old enough to understand, we tell him that we don't understand him when he talks like that, we only understand "big boy" words. It usually works because he's whining to be heard or get something so he wants to be understood and talks normally.

Answer 7

Two year olds always want their way, that is their nature! For the whining, tell him to use his big boy voice and show him what to say. "I want my sippy cup please." Only give him what he wants when he asks nicely like that. You can also remove him from the situation...to another part of the room and tell him to come back when he is ready to talk nicely, and simply ignore the tantrum. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Wear earmuffs. he shouldn't learn to get everything he wants from whining.