Mature Christians, please explain Apostle Paul's meaning here?

Question

1 Corinthians 7:9- "But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

How do you know when you have arrived at that point? My pastor told me that the time to marry does not depend on if you think you're stable or ready, but only when you can't control yourselves anymore... to minimize sin.

How do I know when we're there or not?

Answer 1

Here, St. Paul is extolling the virtue of life-long celibacy for the sake of holiness (this is still practiced, of course, by Catholic and some Orthodox religious today). He accepts, though, that many will be too weak spiritually to accept this calling, so he offers Christian marriage in order for them to live a chaste life. If you find yourselves unable to act chastely together (and you know what I mean), you’d better start planning your wedding. Don’t wait until you sin. Remember, though, marriage is for life.

Answer 2

The context of the verse is about widows. Often, people that have been married for a long time and become a widow have a hard time with loneliness. My sister has been a widow for a long time now and has not remarried. She busies herself with helping our widow and missionary work. My niece has been a widow also for a long time and she did remarry, but it did not work out very well - she is not married now and may not. Lack of self-control is not a good reason to marry, but one would be better thought of then the alternative. I don't know if that is much help, but I hope so.

What I tell people that are thinking about getting married is this: Marriage is tough and the more things that are different between the man and the wife, the more the chance of failure. The more things alike, the better chance of avoiding failure. Example, same back grounds, same religious beliefs, both willing to put God first, same race, same type finance history (people often argue the most about money), same educational background, etc. The more things the same the better the chances are.

Answer 3

I would never question anything written by Paul - but I believe your pastor should have told you that the time to marry is when you're absolutely positive that you are in love and you are ready to spend the rest of your life with this one person. DO NOT marry just because you can't wait to be intimate. That could be a recipe for disaster, even if it starts out as a lot of fun! Marriage cannot be based on sex alone. The fact that you are asking these questions tells me you need to wait a little longer. Good Luck!!

Answer 4

Paul's expectation was that the world was going to end any day. Marriage, therefore, was not a neccesary thing if the world was going to end, but he didn't want people to be doin' it like crazy....so he didn't advocate complete mandatory celibacy, as did many of his apocolyptic contemporaries. However, he said that those who couldn't control their sexual urges should marry, keeping them focused on the coming of the kingdom.

I disagree with your pastor. Paul's context is one thing--I think in our contemporary society, it's much more important for young people to reach a time when they can treat one another with mutual respect, nurture one another, and have mature, respectful expectations about sexuality before they marry.

Good luck figuring it all out. it's a big step in life, and not one to take lightly. You obviously are asking some good questions. keep asking them, talk about it with your potential partner, and see what sort of answers you come to.

peace.

Answer 5

Marriage is not to be taken without a lot of thought and preparation. Surely as mature individual you have it in your ability to keep youself from doing something you concider wrong. Salvation and living a seperated (sanctified) life will help you with self-control. marrying just to keep from commiting sin is not a reason for marriage. Trust God listen to the word and Spirit and wait until you fall in love with someone that you are willing to commit your life.

Answer 6

It means if you cannot keep it in your pants then you'd better get married to the first person who comes along in order to keep you satisfied and safe from god's wrath.

It says that you don't have to be in love to be married - just horny.

You can use this verse in a good Christian home in order to justify getting married at 16.

If you can't have self control and self love is frowned upon what else is there but to marry for sex?

You will know you are there when one of you is saying that if you loved them then you would - or this old chestnut - if you don't then I could die when they explode - Or you will know when you both want it as badly as your performance will be.

What's love got to do with it - sex is all that matters - get married and have lots of sex.

Answer 7

Here's a few different versions for you to think upon:
The Message:
8-9I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can't manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.

The Living Bible:
9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

Contemporary English Version:
9But if you don't have enough self-control, then go ahead and get married. After all, it is better to marry than to burn with desire.

I personally believe what Paul is trying to state something along the lines of Jesus, (Matt 5:30)
30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Meaning, if you are burning in lust with your boyfriend maybe it's better that you get married, as not to 'sin' in having premartial sex, in a result of lust.

Personally, I believe Paul's using this as a figure of speech. Obviously, you wouldn't cut off your hand because it caused you to sin and getting married just to have sex wouldn't lead to a fruitful marriage!

Pray about it. If you can't contain yourselves, perhaps you need to only be together in public or around people. Self control is the hardest thing to do, for anyone, but if you firmly believe sex is only for marriage, you need to remove any tempting situations.

Hope this helps!

Answer 8

I suggest you read the whole chapter. I don't think Paul's attitude was that pessimistic. He kind of summed things up by saying "the one who marries will do well, but the one who doesn't marry will do better (assuming no necessity)." I think you have to weigh it in its historical context as well. Paul understood that the early church was heading into hard times, and it is easier to get through those times without the added concern of a spouse and children. My suggestion to you is if you have found someone you love who loves God and you believe you can live with him in peace, get married.

Answer 9

It is better to marry than to commit fornication and burn in hell because of your sexual sins.

1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Answer 10

Paul is referring to the fact that a single Christian is more useful to God's work than a married Christian because of the lack of family commitments. He is pointing out however that a life of celibacy is difficult and those who cannot handle it should marry.