If your H2B went out for a quiet drink with some friends for his stag night and told you all about it the next day, then over a week later decided to tell you that they went to a lap dancing bar and his 'friends' paid for him to get a private dance?
He knows I don't like these places and is in a bad mood with me because I'm not very happy about it.
He said he didn't want to wimp out infront of the guys!
I never had a stripper or anything like that for my hen night, not only because I think they're tacky, but I have too much respect for my fiance!
How would you feel?
2007-04-02 11:09:22 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He's making me feel bad, but he's the one in the wrong!
2007-04-02 11:20:00 · update #1
I trust 100% that he wouldn't accept any sexual favours - I don't believe for one minute that he would sink that low. The reason I'm so upset about it is because he knows how I feel about places like that and he still went.
He went with 4 other guys to Amsterdam in September for a stag party and I made my feelings very clear about the places they wanted to go ( the Banana Bar - Google it and you'll see what I mean!) But the excuse there was, 'but it's his stag party, it's up to him where we go" Those are the only two occasions he has ever been to these sorts of places, and he doesn't go out with his friends alot because we have two small kids. I don't know if I can let it go as easy as he wants me to. Am I over reacting? He's promised he'll never go again because of how I feel.
2007-04-03 03:25:48 · update #2
I'd be annoyed. I don't think he should be upset with you either, isn't one of the reasons he loves you and wants to marry you is because you get upset over these things? What kind of a fiancee would you be if you didn't care that he got a lap dance?
I can understand about not wanting to wimp out in front of the guys, but if that's the case, he should never have gone to that bar. He's no dummy, he knew what would happen if he went. I don't want to tell you what to do, but you two definitely need to work this one out and make sure you're both on the same page about what's allowed and what's not before the big day.
You are 100% right, he IS the one in the wrong.
2007-04-02 11:23:38 · answer #1 · answered by A W 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you are upset because he knows your feelings about those places. But, in all reality he just went and got a lap dance.... what's the real harm in that??? I used to work at a topless bar (bartender) and the bachelor parties that came in just came for fun. And I can tell you that the guys that came in for their stag night and got a dance were definitely not in there every night dropping cash or getting dances. And for the most part, at the place I worked anyways, the girls were more about embarassing them than anything else. Like I said if you two have discussed this and he knows how you feel, maybe he shouldnt have gone, but you cant stay mad at him for being with the guys and doing something like that. I guarentee he wouldnt walk into a strip joint by himself. And the fact that he told you is a sign of good communication between you two, even though he had to know it would spark something.
Bottom line, if it's something you as a couple feel you dont want in your relationship---stick to your guns and make a joint decision about it. But don't be too hard on him for a stag party :)
Good Luck!!!
2007-04-03 07:08:59 · answer #2 · answered by legends_chick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you do not trust him enough to not do anything more than have her give him a lap dance then maybe you should rethink things.
Did he say what went on with the private dance? Do you trust him that he would tell you the truth?
IF you don't have trust you don't have a relationship.
I do think you are right to be a little annoyed that he did that.
Talk with him about it.
2007-04-03 01:40:31 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd honestly question if I wanted to marry this person. If a girl wanted to offer some sort of sexual favor, would he not want to "wimp out in front of the guys?" You & your relationship should be more important than "wimping out."
2007-04-03 01:22:23 · answer #4 · answered by layla983 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yeah that's messed up!
But all us guy's have the peer pressure to do a stag party when we get hitched (nothing to get mad at)but most guy's only get drunk and just talk crap all night(harmless stuff)
HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST AND TOLD YOU THE SAME NIGHT...
but then again how doe's he know how your going to re-act
really?
you should really be mad if he flipped the bill for this so-called stag-fest!
GOOD LUCK
2007-04-02 11:51:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have a right to be annoyed but its just lads being lads. tell him your not happy and you expect him never to do it again and put it behind you.
2007-04-03 22:39:09 · answer #6 · answered by mimi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would feel sad and disappointed and surely wouldn't marry someone so disrespectful.
2007-04-03 00:23:15 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋