I went to a friends (girl) 21st birthday lunch and then drinks last weekend and when I arrived sat between a friend I knew and a girl I had only seen once before who is friends with the birthday girl.
I was later told this girl was flirting with me but being me, I didn't realise plus I am very shy until I get to know people. I probably should have caught on because her friends kept trying to sway my attention away from me friends and into their group with her. However, whilst I would talk a short time with them, I would then turn away and keep talking with my friends.
Later than night, we went out for drinks and she wouldn't even acknowledge I was there. It was after this, my friend asked whether I noticed she was flirting but by this time she had gone home. I said now that you mention it....damn!
I feel that, although completely unintentional, I was rude and stand off-ish even though I am not really looking for a g/f at the moment and I'm very shy.
2007-04-02 10:58:27 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Now, I have her e-mail address from that 21st girls mailing list but should I e-mail her or is that creepy?
Or should I ask the 21st girl to apologise on my behalf? I'm not too keen on this idea though.
I don't know when/if I will see her again which is the problem so I kind of want to apologise asap.
Or should I even bother apologising?
Thanks for your help! :D
2007-04-02 11:00:36 · update #1
I'm not trying to lead this to a relationship or something, merely asking whether I should apologise.
I hate having this on my mind and I don't want her to think I didn't want to talk to her or anything.
2007-04-02 11:02:41 · update #2
I must agree with the others who have already answered here. You didn't do anything wrong.
You didn't flirt back because you weren't interested and you are so shy that you didn't even notice that she was flirting.
There is nothing wrong with that at all. You really should consider letting it go.
However, as you are obviously not able to let it go, an e-mail acknowledging that she had you in her sights and that you didn't recognize it, is not out of order IF you feel the need to do so.
You may want to write something like this:
Hi Mary,
I got your e-mail address from Joan. I wanted to write to you because I felt that you were hurt by me in some way.
Joan told me that you were trying to get my attention the other night. I'm very sorry that I didn't notice.
I'm sure you already figured out that I'm a very shy man and it is difficult for me to make a connection with women sometimes. I certainly did not mean to ignore you or offend you by missing the message you were sending.
Please forgive me for my shyness. I think your a wonderful girl and I'm sure you will find a nice man some day, but I don't think that man is me. I am staying single for the time being as I am working other things in my life right now.
I wish you all the best and hope that we can remain friends.
All My Best!
Al
2007-04-02 11:30:44 · answer #1 · answered by None of your F***ing business 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why you should apologize for anything. You didn't do anything wrong. If this girl liked you she could have been a little more obvious. That's what's wrong with alot of girls. They like to play games when most men would appreciate a girl being a little more direct. What's wrong with a girl saying to a guy, "Hey I'd like to get to know you better. Would you like to go out sometime?" The worst anyone could say is no and that's really not such a bad thing.
2007-04-02 22:25:55 · answer #2 · answered by Coop's Wife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't ask one person to apologize to another for you. So she was flirting with you, big deal. You have nothing to apologize for. Perhaps in the future you will see this girl and then you can be friendly and if the subject comes up about the 21st party, you can say I hope I did not come across rude because it was so noisey that I could hardly think.
2007-04-02 18:08:13 · answer #3 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about this. It sounds that you were polite, and that's all that is required. Someone flirting with you does not mean you must respond to the flirtation in kind. Obviously you weren't interested in her, or you would have noticed the flirtation immediately.
You were not rude. Rude is the young lady refusing to acknowledge you later on, when you went out for drinks.
2007-04-02 18:08:24 · answer #4 · answered by Daisy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell 21 girl you didn't mean to be rude, but don't go out of your way to apologize to acquaintance girl, just throw a party and invite 21 girl and guestsssss. Tell 21 girl you'd like aother chance to hang out with acquaintance girl...if you do. If not, don't worry...just forget about it.
2007-04-02 18:08:47 · answer #5 · answered by AuntTater 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, I think you should let it go. As you describe it, you didn't do anything that was rude and it sounds like she was too sensitive.
It's time to let your energy move away from this situation and on to something more positive!
2007-04-02 18:09:51 · answer #6 · answered by Susie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would send apologies through 21st girl. And if you see the girl again apologize in person.
2007-04-02 18:07:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋