I'm 21 and am still living at home. I'm the only child and will be starting college in september to get my bsn (bachelor of nursing) degree. The thing is that I will be going to school local, and still living at home; I plan to graduate than maybe live at home until I can get enough money to buy a house, but the thing is my mother does'nt ever want me to leave home. If she had it her way I would be living with her forever, but I don't want to. She's very overprotecting, and I kinda feel dependant on her. Do you think I'm in a strange family situation. Love my mom; but man do I wanna get away sometimes.
2007-04-02 10:44:35 · 18 answers · asked by LG_89 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's not strange. It's better for you to stay at home while going to college so you won't have to struggle with working and going to school and worrying about bills. She will be able to let you go when the time is right. It has to be a process; for the both of you.
I left home at 18 and had to move back in at 24 because I had no money and jobs weren't working out. I partied too much and needed a place to stay until I got my act together. It's better to leave when you are financially ready.
2007-04-02 11:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by coutterhill 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No this is normal every person has to grow up and start to do things on your own.Your mom just loves you very much and wants to keep you her little baby forever but this isn't the way it works.You might have to be dependant on her but the more you can do your own thing then the more firm you can be when expressing to her that you aren't 12 anymore and feel as if you need some Independence.It's a normal part of life and as for your mom tell her that she will never not be needed by you in no means!You just want to feel the way it is to succeed on your own and feel proud of yourself b/c you did it on your own as an adult.So just try to explain to your parents the goals you have and the plans for your future and that you intend on full filling them and moving out one day maybe not tomorrow but one day when you are stable enough.So no it's not strange at all on your part or your parents they just love you and have a hard time letting go but so do most parents they eventually have to though.
2007-04-02 17:53:30 · answer #2 · answered by sweetsmiles69@jennieask-me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a matter of loving/not loving your Mom..... life is yours, if she really loves you must accept letting you go... it's hard I know but it would be the greatest sign of trust and respect she could ever give you... and don't forget if you don't react your family will make you feel more and more dependant in the future. This actually happened to my mother, she used to be there for my Grandma all the time, at the end she couldn't bear this overpossessing behaviour and had a nervous breakdown... She realized she needed her own life too, just being there with her children and her husband....
And ... how could you ever conduct a normal adult life living at home? I suppose you have different habits, times and needs from your parents....
2007-04-02 17:55:34 · answer #3 · answered by lagartija_azul84 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's rediculous to even keep living with her now. You need to work on your own independence and learn what it is to be on your own. I can understand some circumstances where you live at home beyond 18, but for the most part people need to move out, if for no other reason than their own sanity. I don't know how you can stand it. You should stay in the dorms even at the local college and let go of the apron strings. HIstorically parents would WANT their children to move away, not because they wanted to be rid of them, but because they knew it was necessary for them to get out and learn a little about life in the real world. Watch a nature flick on birds sometime and see what they do.
2007-04-02 18:19:44 · answer #4 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Typical family situation I would say...
Take courage and let go of feelings.I believe that unless one experiences life alone away from those who love them they never know the true value of that love nor do they realize how much more independently they are capable of thinking and innovating.I have this friend of mine who had never been out alone.Once he was posted outside his home area and it was then when he realized that he had the potential to achieve more and learn to be independent.Now he has done wonders and those who loved him love him even more now...
2007-04-02 17:53:47 · answer #5 · answered by mark'sme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with living there as long as you are contributing to the household and not just treating it as a hotel. Be glad your parents will help. Most do not. Try developing some friendships. You have a good plan. Put a timeline to it and make sure you stick with the timeline.
2007-04-02 17:50:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its understnadable being the only child
just try to get out some and stsrt to drift abit not like in a bad way jsut so she can get used to idea of u being gone abit and u should probably move out after a while ur in college give it a try and see how that is and well still visit her so she doesnt fell like u abandoned her talk to her about it
2007-04-02 17:49:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
start looking for a job and im am 22 yrs old and i still stay at home with my mother and im am trying 2 hurry up and find me a job so that i can move out of her house and hurry up and move in with my fiancee so that it can just be me and him and are own place. and we can do what ever we wanted 2 do and im am in college part-time and once we do have are own place i mean me and my fiancee everything will be good with us.
2007-04-02 17:56:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh wow, i feel the same way and im only 17!! i'd say its time for you to move out on your own. you are 21 now, not a teenager anymore. you become an adult when you turn 18. you can still live close to your mom, why dont you get an apartment in the same town, that way you can still visit your mom but you'll be a lot more independant. and you'll still be close to your college.
2007-04-02 17:51:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
As long as you live at home, you will still be her "little boy." Living at home makes you dependant on her. While I can understand your desire to finish your degree and then live at home until you can afford to buy a house, I'm not sure I agree with that. I think you should live at home until you are working full time, and then move out on your own. There are thousands and thousands of people who work, live on their own, and still save money to buy a house. Be an adult and support yourself. Good luck to you.
2007-04-02 17:50:32 · answer #10 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋