I recently lost a parent. And when people extend their condolences or sympathy, I don't know how to respond.

Question

Saying thanks in response doesn't seem approriate to me. Please help.

Answer 1

I lost my mom last year to cancer. I had a lot of people tell me how sorry they were, etc.

I mostly said, "Thank you." Also, depending upon who is delivering the sympathy, I may add something personal, like "She always enjoyed the cards you sent." or, "She appreciated your visits.'

I also thanked people who prayed for her as well. She was on many "prayer chains" so I would tell those who did this, " We were very grateful for all your prayers and concerns. It made the past few months more tolerable knowing someone was praying for her and us."

I hope this helps.

I am also very sorry for your loss.

Answer 2

"Thank you" is the appropriate answer. If that doesn't feel right to you, you can dress it up a little, like "Oh, thank you so much; you don't know how much your support means to me right now" or something along those lines. If the person happened to know the deceased, you could add a comment such as "X always loved your sense of style" or "honesty" or whatever fits. But ultimately, it all boils down to "thank you."

Answer 3

Saying thanks is appropriate in your reply, but not all that is needed. Let people know that you appreciate their support, encouragement and company at a time when you feel lonely and down.

It is important for us to think of lost family members in a positive light. This will keep us from sliding downhill in depression and keep us from blaming the departed.

After losing my father, I keep pictures of him near and speak of him almost everyday. This keeps his memory close and his cause of death obsolete.

Your friends are losing someone also, but they want you to know that you are loved and can call on them for support when you need. That is why they make the trip to see you or write you or call you after the loss. You can also add how great it is to see them during this time.

Answer 4

No one ever knows what to say in a time of such loss. Of course people want you to know they are sorry for your loss.
Simply look at them and nod, maybe "smile", or just say thank you. This lets them know you heard them, but you don't really want to talk about it. Saying thanks is fine too. We are all at a loss for words, we want others to know we care, but we don't really know how to express or care and concern. How ever you feel the most comfortable is the best way to respond. Even if you say nothing. I don't think anyone will judge you on your response.
With regards.

Answer 5

Sometimes people offer condolence becase they themselves don't know how to respond. The way I see it, it's your right to grieve in the most appropriate manner for you. Stop worrying how others percieve it!

Answer 6

People do not expect anything in return, they just want to let you know , they are sad what has happened to you, and just want to offer you their condolences, that they are sorry for what has happened. Just except their condolences, as they care about you, and do not worry about having to do anything. You do not need to.

Answer 7

recently lost a child, People really do not know what to say, so when they do extend some sort of condolence I typically just thank them for their thoughts and prayers and let them know that it means a great deal to me to know how much my child loved them and enjoyed knowing them.

Answer 8

Having lost two parents, several very good friends and a number of pets, here is the best answer of all time:

"Thank you for your kindness and sympathies in this time of grief. We all loved (mom or dad or both) and s/he is in a better place now."

Answer 9

I didn't really know what to say either after the death of my mother. But I found that if I extended the phrase to thank you for caring, it sounded more sincere and appropriate.

And I am so sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

appreciate their condolences and that people care for you. dont worry about saying the right thing, sometimes just a hug is good enough