This is a good friend. She is eloping 7/07/07 and then having a church wedding 1/??/08. She doesn't have any money, she doesn't have a church or a hall booked. I am getting married Nov 3, 2007 and she is in my wedding (dress already bought). When I agreed to be in her wedding I thought it was for 1/??/09. Now, I am pressed for money and confused!! She is doing everything backwards and instead of booking a hall or cater she is now picking out bridemaids dress for us to buy!!! If I tell her I can't be in the wedding, she'll be CRUSHED. I keep telling her to book a hall or a cater first- and she doesn't want to listion. I personally think she doesn't have the money for a deposit so that's why she is doing things in this order. And I am afraid she'll have us buy dress and the wedding won't really happen when she thinks it's going to happen because she being soo careless about the hall.
What do I do??
I don't have the time or money for this right now!!??
2007-04-02 10:20:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would just tell her simply that you do not have the time or the money to shop for/buy a bridesmaids dress at this time, and you'd really prefer that she has firm plans (as far as a date is concerned--meaning locations booked and deposits paid) before you purchase a dress in the future. Tell her when you'll expect to be able to budget for a bridesmaid's dress. Honestly is seriously the best policy here. Tell her you're concerned that if you purchase the dress NOW, and then she books a date that you have a conflict with, you'll have spent money that you already don't have on a dress you won't be able to wear, because you won't be able to be at the wedding. Explain to her that she REALLY needs to get a location confirmed and booked before having bridesmaids pick out and pay for dresses, due to potential conflicts. Maybe even get her a wedding planning book (like the one you're using) for an engagement gift for her??? Good luck to you, and her!!
2007-04-02 11:36:43 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree with the other two ladies who answered. If she's a good friend, then take time to sit down with her, and explain that all your money is tied up in your own wedding. Explain that you thought you would be buying a dress for her wedding in 2009, not 2008. Let her know that while you'd love to be in her wedding, your budget will simply not allow the purchase of the dress that soon after your own wedding. It's a difficult situation to be in, but unfortunately you've got to concentrate on your own day. She will have to do the same. Be sure to emphasize the confusion over the dates. I hope it all works out for you. Good luck.
2007-04-02 10:30:39 · answer #2 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, i comprehend u want ur wedding ceremony to be perfect, yet image urself in her shoes, or in her metallic rod I shud say. i think of that is notably mean to make her step off for something she would have the capacity to't help. She's gonna be ur relatives so that is significant which you settle for her medical issue now. why do no longer you purely have her placed on a protracted gown? i've got considered weddings the place each and each brisesmaid had a diverse sort gown (yet all an identical colour), besides matching sort bridesmaid attire are so out, attempt to start a sparkling element! :) properly, desire I helped and good luck on ur wedding ceremony, yet please do no longer do this throughout the time of your fiance's sister through fact i'm effective she's dealt with many matters regarding her man made leg and you will desire to no longer would desire to make her sense ashamed of it. purely asserting, i do no longer desire to sound like i'm lecturing u or something, cuz i'm purely a teenager, yet yeah. have relaxing! :D
2016-10-02 01:47:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You talk to her and let her know you don't have the money for it and would still love to be a part of her big day. If there is something else that you can do to help her as far as helping plan etc.. The best thing you can do is to be honest and be supportive.
My fiance says to me all the time that I do things backwards but it works. He says I put the cart before the horse.
2007-04-02 10:38:13 · answer #4 · answered by princessa674 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd wait until she bought her own wedding gown. In fact, tell her that's one of the most fun things to do with all your friends- go to Bridal stores and help the bride-to-be try on gowns, and then pick bridesmaid's dresses. Good luck with this- awkward situation, and you don't have enough to stress out over already!
2007-04-02 10:41:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
let her pick out the dresses but dont' buy it until she has everything else booked. August is crazy busy to plan a wedding and if she hasn't booked anything she might be really disappointed.
Maybe take her out to look at a few places and ask about availablity. It will only take a few before she figures out it might be too late.
2007-04-02 10:26:42 · answer #6 · answered by duvalicious 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Then you have to be honest with her. You have to let her know that you are also getting married and with the cost of things you cannot buy your BM dress at this time. You also have to let her know that if she is planning her wedding very erratically, that she has to take into consideration all of those that she wants involved.
2007-04-02 10:25:06 · answer #7 · answered by Scarlett 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her and let her know exactly how you feel. Explain the situation in detail.
2007-04-02 10:25:15 · answer #8 · answered by ProudMama 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You just have to tell her the truth.
2007-04-02 10:32:27 · answer #9 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her you are unable to be a bridesmaid. It doesn't have to be reciprocal.
2007-04-02 10:31:40 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋