Is my mom ruining my life?

Question

Is my mom ruining my life?

Well when I was 6 my mom and dad got devoirs, that’s really sucked later on I had to start seeing my dad every other weekend it was really wired not knowing what was going on in my life at such a young age after that my grades started to drop but not by that much now later on when I was about 10 my dad got married and I had to start spending the night over at his house later on….lets just say something happened to me that I cant really talk about lets just say I was betrayed by my best friend causing me to have to move 300 miles away from all my good friends and school and my dad life kind of sucks for me right now I moved to a school out here were I just cant make any friends they all seem to hate me so I got in to some trouble and now I have to be home schooled and now I only get to see my dad once every month now to my mom part there does not seem to be a day were we do not get in to a fight she hates living here to were trying to move but were to poor lol she never believes anything my dad says and if I say oh I really had a good time with my dad she gets really pissed she will say thing go live with him or something like that I really don’t want to because I know it would hurt my mom so bad but this is the thing if it would hurt her so bad then why does she keep on saying go live with him there are so many thing going on I cant tell who is telling the truth anymore she says im so disrespectful when If I was to tell he to… idk shut up or something yes I can see why she would get mad but I don’t see why she can tell ME to shut up just because im 14 and she is 46 does not mean I should not get the same rights as her it seems like she is trying to make me think that my dad never tells the truth or he is just this really bad man I don’t see why he is I sometimes seems like she is using me to get back at my dad like telling me what to say sometimes she will say oh he is only saying that to get me mad is she messing up my head my dad does not seem to be a “bad guy” or anything like that I think she is telling me stuff so I think they lie all the time or are bad people I will never love my step-mom like I love my mom but there is no reason why I should hate them plz tell me your thoughts on this and what I should do I just cant seem to tell her how I feel with out her getting mad at me I think I really don’t know what im scared of.

Answer 1

This can get complicated fast so I'm just going to give you some words of wisdom and you take them how you can....
Frist off show your mom some respect, I know its hard not too, she in a lot of things, has a lot to answer for but as soon as you start yelling at her, as soon as you start disrespecting her, you've lost the arguement. I don't care how right you are, there nothing right with disrespecting somebody espacially your mother... you'll lose steps on that...

The other thing is she and your dad have in a certian sense failed you, don't hurt because of it, it proves how human they are. But you don't have to swallow it neither... As long as you speck from your heart and speck with as much respect and humility you can muster they both have to listen... if they don't the frist time do it again and again, let them know how you feel. If you feel neglected let them know, if you feel there being unfair let them know. You place isn't to disrespect your parents but when there doing wrong right in front of you, you do have the right to voice how much its hurting you. And they can't just ask you to swallow it, nor should you...

Last thing you need to understand is that there hurt, very, very hurt they know they failed you.... and in a lot of ways, the truth is on your shoulders to actual grow past them... I'm sorry to put it this way, but its what I had to do... you need to find some truth in your life, I'm not talking about god neither, just truth about whats going on out here, because you need to talk to them not only about how you feel, but on what you know to be the truth... like here you know you feel bad, because the truth is your mom is lost and doesn't know the best way to help you and her find a great way to live (outside of money, thats just a distrations, as long as your not starvin it should be the main issue.) and you guys need to talk about a way to satisfy each others needs with each other... time love, show some compassion to her, and she'll feel she has to return the favor.... just remeber things well get hard before they get easy so if things are seeming to erupt be the frist to leave and recope/rethink a better way to talk to her... its not fair but your sanity is at stake here.... good luck...