I married my husband one year ago, and soon after that we won a long custody battle for his son. My husband has sole custody.
Heres the problem. My Mother in law acts like she has every right to him. I also have two daughters from a previous marriage. Their father is not involved at all in their life, so my husband is all they know as a dad. My husband and I also have one son together.
My mother in law treats my girls like they are nothing, and also treats her new grandson like he doesnt exsist. The only one she seems to care about is my stepson.
She has been known to bring gifts for him over to the house when all the kids are here, and doesnt for one minute think that it is inapproriate. Im not saying buy things for all the kids, but at least keep the gifts at her home and give them to him when he goes to visit.
He gets everything he wants and his way is the only way when he visits, therefore when he comes home he acts like he doesnt know how to act.
2007-04-02 09:22:47 · 16 answers · asked by Kimberly G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i am a stay at home mom. I raise all 4 kids full time. well recently my husband had to go ou of town to work for the first time. We didnt think anything of it. My stepson lives here. Well she took it upon herself to go pick him up from his moms on his weekend and told his mom that she didnt feel he needed to e here with us for the whoe time his dad is gone!!
She also told my stepsons mom that she was buying him a cell phone...hes 3 years old. So that they can tlk when ever either one of them like.
My mind is blown over this.
Hes a smart little boy. he knows he gets what he wants at his grannys. He told her tha me, and my 6 and 4 yearold daughters were mean to him.
I treat them all the same as far as discipline.
and all three kids fight.
Im at a loss. My husband and his mother arent on speaking terms, and so hes going through his dad.
my stepsons mom also thinks he should be with me .
2007-04-02 09:35:31 · update #1
My parents treat my stepson no different than all of the other kids. They consider himself as one of their own
2007-04-02 09:38:40 · update #2
By the way..this is my husbands mother im talking about.
2007-04-02 09:44:26 · update #3
For some reason my husband is very intimadated by his parents. He will not stand up to them.
2007-04-02 10:29:18 · update #4
Oh goodness..... OK, I don't know what state you live in but it's time for you to take matters in to your own hands with this grandmother. First, you need to sit down with her in a neutral place ( a restaurant, park, etc.) and tell her that you are now this child's step-parent and you and your husband will make the decisions. Tell her that you understand this is her grandson but unless she has some sort of court ordered grandparent's rights, she needs to go through you and your husband for decisions. I would think long and hard and put some ideas on paper that will get your points across without being threatening. Tell her unless she wants to get all the kids a little something, not to give the grandchild a gift in front of the others. Like you said, keep it at her house until he visits. Tell her absolutely there will be no picking him up from his mothers without you or your husband's approval and just because his father is away doesn't mean she has a right to do it. Make it clear that she has to respect you and if she doesn't, I suggest you tell her she isn't welcome in the home until she does. Get a handle on this now or this little three year old will turn in to a huge problem, not only for you & your husband but for the other kids. Tell grandma that all the children are equal and if she can't accept that, then she needs to get herself together until she can. Good luck!
2007-04-02 10:56:53 · answer #1 · answered by itsjustme 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel i can erally relate to you, i am from a similar upbringing, i now have kids of my own. What i would advise, is take her to one side, and tell her" look, i really appreciate the lovely gifts you bring for him, but you have to realise that its not only him, the other kids are feeling left out, and that you dont care for them, they think they are doing something wrong" tell her " I am trying to bring the kids up to be a family, and its not great when you are clearly pointing out the divide between them, i want you to treat them all the same, and help me make this family work" God i wish you all the luck in the world, its so hard being a parent alone, never mind a step parent. All you can do babe, is just keep them talking to you and try your best to share your time out equally. good luck xx
2007-04-02 16:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by law 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You and your husband are the parents of these kids, not the mother-in-law. You and your husband need to set her straight and tell her in a language that she understands each word perfectly. Do not hesitate to let her know she's lost her mind if she thinks you're putting up with this and you will do whatever it takes to get this stopped.
2007-04-02 17:39:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Treating one grandchild better than others is a major problem. This could cause real problems for the other three as they grow up. Talk to your husband. If he won't talk to her, then you will have to do it yourself. Sorry, there is no easy way to do it. Just try to keep your cool and if she gets angry, don't let it upset you. Good luck!!
2007-04-02 16:27:57 · answer #4 · answered by Candace C 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to grab the bull by the horns right now! I thought you guys have custody of him? You stated when he comes home... You and your husband should sit down the his mother and explain to her what she is doing and it has to end. That is so not fair to the other kids! And it's not fair to you guys or the spoiled one. Good luck!
2007-04-02 16:29:22 · answer #5 · answered by mare122870 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, this is a serious problem and you and your husband both need to sit down and tell her. She is hurting innocent children. Does she not know they have feelings? It's up to you & your husband to protect all of your children. So, give her an ultimatum and stick with it.
2007-04-02 16:28:11 · answer #6 · answered by Truth Hurts 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband has to set the pace, as how he is to act when he comes from G-Mom's house. Now G-Mom has to be told, that their are other kids in the home, and if she must bring him a gift, please give it to him, in private. Let her know that you want all the kids to be special, in your home. And that you hope that she can respect that!
2007-04-02 16:35:14 · answer #7 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your husband & his ex need to put their feet down all over good ol' Mama ASAP!! Her behavior is over the top and a 3 yr old doesn't need the drama or the spoiling. But until they say something to her it will not stop. Good luck.
2007-04-02 16:41:15 · answer #8 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
your mother in law pities this poor child - he has no mother. i am with her. don't u have your own kids to worry about? and if u know that she is going to come and bring gifts only for your stepson buy gifts for your daughters and another child so they don't feel abandoned. and she doesn't need to buy gifts for your children. they re nobody for her why would she waste money for someone elss kids? i know u don't like my answer, but put yoruself in her position. i bet u would act the same as she
2007-04-02 16:27:41 · answer #9 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hopefully you can talk to your husband about this - and he will work with you - and find a gentle way to talk with his Mom.
Blended families are really tough. I've learned though - that if the COUPLE agrees on how to handle things - things are a lot smoother.
2007-04-02 16:28:46 · answer #10 · answered by liddabet 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋