Don't get me wrong, I know i'm no saint myself, but I've been raised as a christian my whole life and even though i have no problem with gay and lesbian people and I support her, i feel like im walking on eggshells whenever we talk about it. I'm asking if it would be really offensive(to any gay or lesbian person) if someone really close to you started to tell you how they really felt about the situation? Even if it was coming from a place of love?
2007-04-02 08:54:08 · 79 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Love her, and pray for her....what else can you do?
2007-04-02 08:56:56 · answer #1 · answered by lookn2cjc 6 · 7⤊ 3⤋
My best friend recently came out of the closet a few months ago. At first it was a very touchy subject and I didn't feel comfortable talking to her about it and vice versa. I am heterosexual (and Non-Christian) and fully support gay rights. I fully support my best friend in her choice and have actually never seen her happier than she is with the girl she has currently been dating for 8 months now. Regardless of your personal feelings about your sister's lifestyle, you must still respect her beliefs as she respects yours. Like they say, "If you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all." Just try your best not to be judgemental and try not to make her feel akward or weird about the situation. If you have questions, ask. I'm sure she'll be open to discussing this with you as long as you keep an open mind and don't judge her. You can politely disagree without being hurtful. This is a difficult time for her just as it may be for her so be sensitive. This isn't an easy thing to tell people at all. She deserves respect for being honest and you should also be happy that she trusted you enough to tell you about it. This will get easier and less weird, I promise. I can now talk to my best friend about her and her girlfriend and her lifestyle just as easily and we can talk about my love life with my boyfriend. I understand that homosexuality goes against your beliefs, but please try not to push your beliefs on her because you will only push her away.
2007-04-02 09:07:18 · answer #2 · answered by Holly 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My advise would be not to talk about it. If you were raised a Christian, she likely knows how you feel, or at least how Christians traditionally feel toward homosexuality. You do not need to remind her. In the same way my brother knows I am a Christian and I know he is very much anti-Christian in many ways. I do not constantly tell him he is wrong or anything, he knows where I stand. If he brings up the subject, typically I do not discuss it because I think he is searching more for mockery rather than real answers. If he ever wanted answers, I would give them.
I think you should look at Matthew 8:22 I think it is.....
Someone said, "I will follow you, but let me first go and bury my father"
Jesus answered, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead"
You can decide how to interpret that.... But I largely think it means that we should not focus on what everyone else believes, we should concentrate more on our fellowship with God. If people are interested in that fellowship we could entertain them, but if they are not interested then they would only be distracting us.
Also remember when Jesus was with Mary and Martha, one was concerned about making sure everything was in order and clean, the other was simply talking with Christ. There is such a thing as "Christian responsibilities" getting in our way of our relationship with Christ. Missionary work and preaching, for instance, keeps us from our own relationship with Christ. If you spend all your time telling others about Christ, you will have no time to spend with Christ yourself.
2007-04-02 09:06:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You think she doesn't already know?
Do you think for a minute that this was something she would ask for, that she wouldn't be "straight" if she could?
Can you even fathom the struggle inside her? What society and (supposedly) the bible tells her is wrong but every cell in her body, every fiber of her being, the core of her very soul, tells her is right?
Be a Christian and love unconditionally, without judgement.
2007-04-02 17:08:56 · answer #4 · answered by hazydaze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it would be offensive for you to tell her that it's wrong. You don't have to agree with it, but keep that to yourself. She's your sister and doesn't need you judging her. It would be more offensive coming for a place of love rather than a complete stranger.
You say that you have no problems with people being gay, and that you support her....so why are you worried about being offensive telling her how you really feel? Sounds like you do have a problem with her being gay, and really don't support her all that much.
2007-04-02 08:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by photogrl262000 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I think if you told her how you felt in a loving way she would be okay with it. - I'm a Christian too and I would let her know that I don't agree with the choice she has made but I still love her , that's what I would say if I was you but say what you feel. Good luck!
2007-04-02 09:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by m cheryl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one, but you have to understand that people will do what they really want to do no matter what you say. If you feel the need to say something, I'd suggest writting everything you feel in a letter. I always write my feelings down in a letter, and usually I don't even give it to the person, but it helped me get it out. You could give it to her, or you could write a revised version that has "I feel statements" in it. For example, "When you are with other women, I feel like it's not right" Instead of attacking her by saying "YOU'RE WRONG." It's easy to get upset and say something hurtful you really don't mean. Good luck, and try to have an open mind.
2007-04-02 08:59:18 · answer #7 · answered by Meagan M 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I dont think this is anything to stress too much over. The bottom line is she is your sister, and you will love her no matter what she does, or who she is. your faith should have nothing to do with you and your sisters bond, gay or not gay. you are the same two little girls that grew up together, nothing should change that. Open your arms and be there to listen should she have any problems.
2007-04-02 09:00:23 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you were raised as a Christian your whole life, I bet your sister was, too. I also think she knows how you "really feel." What would you do if she was with a guy you didn't like? I bet you'd treat her better. Do that. Keep loving her. Talk about things you have in common.
2007-04-02 09:02:19 · answer #9 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
How does finding out that your sister is a lesbian change how you feel about her as a person/sister? It shouldn't. Don't walk on eggshells. She's who she is, and you're who you are. So you're not the same? Big deal. Forget the differences and just love her as a sister. There's nothing wrong with her.
2007-04-02 08:57:36 · answer #10 · answered by glitterkittyy 7 · 6⤊ 2⤋
As a christian you are dealing with a situation where your religions morality is telling you to feel a certain way about someone you love. You know that your sister is a good person.
YOUR RELIGIONS MORALITY DOES NOT LINE UP WITH WHAT YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART IS RIGHT
Why would a loving god discriminate in this way?
2007-04-02 08:59:30 · answer #11 · answered by derek v 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋