My husband's manners...?

Question

My husband insists our children say please and thank you, and apologize when they are wrong. But he doesn't often do these things himself. How can I ask him to say please and thank you to me, and them, without sounding like a shrew?

Answer 1

Talk to him about it when your kids are not around. Tell him that manners are not only for children, but for adults too. You both need to set a good example.

Answer 2

Definition of "shrew" - a woman of violent temper and speech; termagant.

Why on earth would you think you sound like a shrew or even a nag for that matter? Do you think he sounds like a shrew or a nag when he insists your children use manners? Just the fact that you got on here to ask for advice shows that you are very concerned w/his feelings, etc... And that just doesn't sound like someone w/a temper to me.

People above have already suggested 3 good ways to address the issue. One, not in front of the children. Two, remind him that he needs to set an example for the children. Three, you set an example by using manners w/him & the children. Good luck, it sounds like you are considerate & you deserve the same back in return:)

Answer 3

Kids will naturally follow an example they see rather than what they are told to do... You are on a one way road to rebellion in the future.

Don't worry about sounding like a shrew...

Answer 4

I would just flat out ask. You don't have to say it in a nagging voice or anything. If you're husband is touchy or you do not have that kind of relationship you could try the... I read that children learn more from their parents than from the lessons we teach them. I was thinking we could work on our manners to each other... what do you think?

Answer 5

You might mention that it will be easier for your children to remember to exhibit good manners if they see two shining examples of them at home.

(As a side note, I must say I find it very odd that he doesn't pick up on and reflect your own good manners. [I presume that you say these things to him, right?] It's pretty disrespectful for him to not show you and the kids the same courtesy. This might be harder to train him into doing than it would first appear. Good luck!)

Answer 6

Everyone has given good answers... I can only think that your husband is trying to do a better job of raising his children than his parents did with him :)

Answer 7

Tell him that he needs to set a good example for the children.

Answer 8

!Tactfully!

Talk to him when the kids are not around. He may not even be aware of how often he omits the pleases and thanks.
Make it about the kids and not yourself, and make a point to say yes and thank you to him yourself.
It is a habit we fall in and out of and a gentle reminder is all that is needed.

Answer 9

Just say that you think if either one of you is going to teach your children anything you should both be practicing what you are teaching. children learn more from watching people especially their parents than they will from hearing him tell them what to do. your kids probably look up to both of you and if they see dad doing what they are supposed to be doing they are probably more likely to want to mimic his behavior and do it themselves. also, its just a respect issue, he should always treat you with respect and if you want him to say please and thank you then he should.

Answer 10

Just tell him that he needs to set an example for them. If he does this too, then it will reinforce what you are trying to teach them.