i have been dating my boyfriend for almost 10 months now, and we both know that we love each other a lot. however..he has no job and he never does any work for school..but he never has time for me! his parents are super strict, so he does have really shortened curfews on both weekdays and weekends..and he goes to his moms house every other weekend (and she lives a half-hour away). when he does have free time, he spends the bulk of it with his friends. when he spends a few hours with me each WEEK, we only do sexual stuff. we started off as really good friends, but now i feel like im just someone he chooses to see whenever he wants to be pleasured.
we've only been on one date out of these 10 months, and i feel like i do all the work..even calling just to say hello.
what do i do? every time i talk to him, he just mindlessly agrees and doesnt change his behaviors...i dunno anymore.
please help! i dont wanna give up on him but i feel like i need to do SOMETHING!
2007-04-02 06:42:01 · 20 answers · asked by niki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You've done everything you can. He's using you, and he's going to keep using you as long as you let him. Dump him--you deserve better.
2007-04-02 06:46:27 · answer #1 · answered by Winnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my boyfriend, and we have been in a relationship for 6 months. Some guys are immature and they dont know what being in a relationship means. There can be also a problem where most of his friends are single and they are making fun of him for being in a relationship. My boyfriend and i have only been on 4 dates throughout our relationship, and he has never bought anything for me. He also spends most of his time with his friends. And when he does come to see me, he does the sexual stuff...and after he is done, he will leave to go hang out with his friends. Now all i can tell you is that you CANNOT change him. Trust me, I tried and it never works. If you want, you can talk to him and tell him how you feel. If he still ignores your wishes, you can either leave him to find a better guy, or stay with him and deal with it. Thats what all my friends told me, and I guess thats the only thing you can do. Good Luck!
2007-04-02 13:53:37 · answer #2 · answered by Nina_678 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously, this guy doesn't love you as much or simply doesn't love you at all! And the time he spends with you is few enough but still he takes you for granted and simply makes you his play thing. A guy who really loves you will love, cherish, and give you importance plus is willing to do anything for you. Things difficult made easy, and the impossible possible!I'm sure that you know this saying.."kung gusto maraming paraan,pero kung ayaw maraming dahilan.." I know you deserve more than that cuz every person especially women does. And i understand that it is hard for you to give up on him but I think you must go break up with him and if he turns everything around by saying that your not understanding enough and blames you as if it's your fault, then speak up girl! You know you did your best to make this relationship last!
Goodluck and be strong...i know that you can do this and i know that there's someone out there worthy enough waiting for you to accept all the love they can give that a worthy girl like you deserve..=)
2007-04-02 14:05:23 · answer #3 · answered by simply someone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound like he wants to spend time with his friends during the time he is allowed out. It sounds like he spends time with you to fulfill his sexual desire. If you don't like this arrangement, stop accepting it. Stop having sex every time you see him. You could go to a movie, take a walk, to out to eat, there are tons of things to do besides sex. If he doesn't agree with doing anything else but sex, then you know that is all you are good for. Also, it is fine that he sees you for a few hours a week. At this age, neither one of you should be consumed with any one thing. He has friends to hang out with and so should you. A nice date once a week in fine. Just stop treating yourself like a unpaid hooker.
2007-04-02 13:50:07 · answer #4 · answered by truly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are nothing more than a friend with benefits. If you shut off the benefits he will no longer come around. He is only using you for his advantage. I would also start to think that there are better fish in the seas, this guy really seems like a jerk.
2007-04-02 13:46:14 · answer #5 · answered by droopydog88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, that means he just isn't that into you....I saw this on the Oprah show not too long ago and thought it was excellent advice. It addresses your exact problem....read it all buy pay special attention to "Edit your Vocabulary"
http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200409/tows_past_20040922.jhtml
My advice is to find you a new boyfriend that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated....like a princess!! Good luck!
2007-04-02 13:53:33 · answer #6 · answered by lisagoesshopping 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, let this loser go.
Do you really need us to tell you? I think you already know the answer to this.
This does not sound like love to me. If he loved you he would make time for you, call you, take you on more than one date within a ten month time period, etc.
I'm sorry, but I'm just being honest. You deserve better. Cut your losses and move on.
2007-04-02 13:50:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because he is using your time for another breeze. You are nothing but a place to put his thingy. Good for you, be the little play toy (sarcasm). Men need more clueless women in the world like you.
2007-04-02 13:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl, if he's not putting in the time, don't invest in him. Chances are, he may not want to continue the relationship, but is finding it difficult to come out and tell you that it's over. tell him how you feel, that you want more out your relationship with him. If there's still no change, your better off seeking life with someone else.
2007-04-02 13:46:38 · answer #9 · answered by sum1_keeps_taking_my_name 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a 10 month booty-call.
A real relationshp is more than just him being pleasured.
Maybe at this point in his life a real girl-friend isn't working.
If you want more you're going to have to move on.
2007-04-02 13:46:16 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sound to me like you are off to a very good start, a few hours a week of good sex, this could be something to base a very nice long term relationship upon. ;)
certainly starting the right foot
2007-04-02 13:47:35 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋