My in laws??

Question

My hubbys family was having a fight (look at previous question). I told them all I couldn't deal with the stress since I am 32 weeks pregnant and having a difficult pregnancy. So... My father in law decided to tell my brother in law that I said I got sick last time I ate at their house and that their house is a mess. I never said those things. I can't figure out why he would try to put me in the middle of his BS. My sister in law (married to my brother in law) and I are very close so she asked me about it. I was glad she came to me and didn't just assume he was being honest but now I am so angry at my father in law. What would you do about it? How would you deal with it? I live across the street from him so I have to face the issue but I don't want to add any extra stress on myself by telling him what I think of the BS. How do I handle it nicely without telling him what I think of him? Thanks for any help.

Just a friend.... I married into this family almost 9 years ago. I have been married to my husband longer than my father in law has been married. I knew what I was marrying and it wasnt the BS. Thanks

Answer 1

Look him in the eyes and smile the next time you see him and say hi. Ignore what he said, infact pretend (to yourself) he didnt say anything bad. Tell yourself you like him and move on. Some things are not worth your time and it is not nice for you to feel mad and grouchy when you are pregnant. There will be future annoying comments, so tell your self you are glad you have a beautiful life and have more important things to do and enjoy yourself. (Do get those things done! Heh heh) When you are tolerant it becomes harder for people to say just about anything they think about you.

"Never remember what you can afford to forget."

Answer 2

You should have a talk with your husband. Let him know that what his family is doing isn't healthy for you or your baby. He has to stand up to his father and the rest of the clan so that they will back off of you. As far as your sister-in-law as long as she doesn't believe what your father-in-law says I wouldn't worry about it. However I would make it very clear to all of them including your husband that right now the most important thing to you is your baby and you will not jeopardize the health and well being of your child. I would tell them that if they can't respect the fact that you're pregnant and they're adding stress on an already difficult pregnancy then don't have to be bothered with you. That means, keep the BS out of your house and your life. If you husband wants to be caught up in it with his father and family tell him to do so but leave it at the front door when he comes home from dealing with it. After that kill them all with kindness, tell them that with that being said any and all of them are very much welcome in your life and house as long as they leave the BS at the door. Your father-in-law however you feel don't attack him with any words just keep smiling at him. He's expecting you to freak out and have some sort of negative reaction but shock him don't feed into it.

Answer 3

Do not get stressed out now!!! It is not worth it! My husbands family put me in the hospital for arguments while I was pregnant. I never argue with ANYONE and his family got me really worked up over nothing. I recently had 2 miscarriages, I believe they were both caused by his family stress they put on my shoulders. My husband agrees now and won't let that happen again. Your husband should settle anything going on and you should soak in a bath! Do not let them get to you! It is not even a real argument anyways. It's just people saying stupid things. Good luck with baby! And, Just relax!

Answer 4

Older people can be manipulative. Sounds like a classic case of crazy old man. But he is still your Father in law. Be happy the truth is known to those it matters and forgive him for his autocracies. As long as you understand how he can be... you should be able to handle what more is yet to come! Take it with a grain of salt and be the bigger person. You'll be proud of yourself. Good luck

Answer 5

I wish you the best of luck when you tell him what you think because that is what I would do. I have been there one to many times with my husbands family...

Answer 6

I'd stay away from them, they love to cause drama. If this happened to me and my FIL asks why I stay away, I'd tell him a little bird told me that he said I said his house was a mess and he's got it all wrong. What I said was that HE was a mess.

Answer 7

Oh I know you feel I have in-laws to, and you know that you have to remember yourself as being pregnant, and what I would do is talk to them, that you really don't want to be part of there madness, and you don't to get upset, about gossip
in the family, and put your foot down and let them know where you stand , trust me I have done that to my in-laws , so now I get respect and so do they, its not easy I know, take care of yourself and your baby,,,,

Answer 8

to stay stress free- annouce to everyone; 'whatever anyone says about me kindly keep to yourselves, i am not interested in idle gissop. ' and if they continue- only bring the baby over once in a while not often,
chose who you will be with- don't let anyone push themselves on you just because they're family.

Answer 9

IWould just forget it. It's ben said and you can't change that. Stay away and don't stress out.

Answer 10

he's acting like a child, & obviously is too immature to give a rat's --- about you / your pregnancy. so, forget him (yes, he's your in-law, but he's doing you wrong) and just leave. let him talk all he wants. soon no one will be listening.