Ive been crushing hard on this boy at my youth group for 2 years, he has had a girlfriend for 1...lately he hasnt been with her but i know they work together and his brother said they spend every waking second together..i want to talk to him..not about this but about like music or something since its something we both enjoy. How do i spark up a conversation with him when hes with his friends? And from the way it sounds do you think they will last? Hes 18 shes almost 18. I just cant let go. I know its what i should do..and i dont like the way she treats him. She has him on a 2 inch leash. He does everything she commands....what do you think?
2007-04-02 06:10:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How do you know how the girlfriend is treating him if you don't even talk to him...
I say back off. He is taken and if they have been together that long and still spend a lot of time together, then it seems they will stay that way. There are plenty of fish in the sea - you just need to start looking around. I am sure you can find a great fella out there somewhere who isn't in a committed relationship.
2007-04-02 06:15:34 · answer #1 · answered by Go Bears! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes love sucks, believe me. And sometimes things don't happen in our preferred timing that we would learn patience. That being said, here's my take:
1) Since you're crushing on this guy and he's with someone else, I would suggest you wouldn't like the way she treats him no matter WHAT she did. And gals have female intuition - there may be very real and practical reasons she "has him on a 2 inch leash." You have no idea what their relationship is like and maybe in private he has given her reason. Maybe she senses you have uncontrollable affection for him and is guarding her man. Bottom line is that their relationship is just that...THEIR relationship. It doesn't include you.
2) No matter how hard you're crushing on this guy, take a look at yourself with a view to personal character and who you want to be. Do you want to be the kind of girl that is somehow responsible for breaking up someone else's relationship?
3) You mention that you know him from youth group and I wonder if it's a church youth group. I'm a born-again Christian and I believe God is in control of all things, and He has promised to always give us what is best for us (even if we don't see it at the time). Would it not be better if this guy eventually broke up with her of his own volition, apart from any influence from you, then discovered afterwards that you two were much more compatible?
All to say, I suggest your most honorable way of dealing with the situation is to be a good friend to BOTH of them. You get to define what that practically means since I don't know your youth group or micro culture. But it definitely means no advice about their relationship. No prying into what goes on between them. Talk about music, talk about movies, whatever.
And let things happen naturally as they're going to happen.
Hope this helps, best to you.
2007-04-02 13:30:28 · answer #2 · answered by Timothy W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is taken....Why you think and think about him, you are keeping your life back....There are so many men in this world and beyond your youth group...Look at what you are doing to yourself...2 years of showing up to your youth group and obsessing. You don't seem to even have a friendship with him...If the leash is short it is how he wants it to be...This is not a concern of yours....Put your life together and meet a guy who wishes to be friends and then form the relationship...Right now it is like you are obsessing over a Johnny Depp poster and can't have him..
2007-04-02 13:18:24 · answer #3 · answered by city girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to stay out of their relationship.
If you really like him then you will respect the relationship he is already in.
Your opinion of their relationship is irrelevant. If he likes being with her and likes being on a leash, then let him have it.
I think you should keep your distance until you know your motives for being his friend are pure.
Good luck.
2007-04-02 13:16:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like they are head over heels over each other and are most likely not going to be letting go of another. It's not healthy or fair to your self to be wishing that this guy brakes up with his girl so you can have him. This is incredibly blunt but i think you need to hear it ...If he wanted to be with you he wouldn't be dating his current gf, he'd be with you. Go out and meet new people and get your mind of him. Right now your prob sitting at home just thinking on this guy. when you find your self thinking of him call up a friend and go out.
2007-04-02 13:18:39 · answer #5 · answered by La Princesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are creating a situation for yourself that keeps your heart sad. Find someone else to focus on. He is happy with his situation. Wish him joy or whatever, think positive, and someone will be attracted to your upbeat personality,and your great smile.
Open your eyes to lifes beauty.
2007-04-02 13:16:49 · answer #6 · answered by gypsyworks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it would be a good idea to get involved with the guy. You either move on or wait for him to be free. I'm sure there are guys out there that are better and free.
2007-04-02 13:15:44 · answer #7 · answered by Leilyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think theyll be togther for THAT much longer because relationships like that arent gunna wor, it sound alot to me like she is jelous.. o well. I think it will just come to youu what youu should say to hiim but i go to your school so ill just think and tell youu later :P
2007-04-03 13:24:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey? if i were you, i would let it go? if happen the girl find out that you like her guy? would she will do something to you and even she will start to dislike! just let go, the guy is so clueless that he doesn't realize that the gurl is not good for him
2007-04-02 13:16:03 · answer #9 · answered by vivian i 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just move in and break them up. There are no rules against poaching another girls man. Start with small talk and give him small complements. You can figure it out from there.
2007-04-02 13:14:05 · answer #10 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋