I've been married six months and in my mid twenties. I don't know its normal or not but i dont feel like trying for a baby yet as there are so many things i wanna do or enjoy before starting a family. am i been selfish?
How to convince my husband to wait for some more time? he is tired of birth control!
I love him very much and dont want to hurt him in any way but at the same time i dont think i am ready for a baby yet! it's all quite confusing and scary.
2007-04-02 04:50:57 · 10 answers · asked by comp90 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you have made the right decision, go with your intinct. i have 3 kids and iam only 32, i went though 2 marriages and now iam engaged again, my fiance now want a child but i refused, i told him when he marries me and is fincally stable i will consider it.
2007-04-02 04:55:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is this conversation just coming up.....did you not discuss this before getting married! Being a mom of 2 at 33....married 11 yrs this week....I can certainly see where you are coming from! It's a huge step! So many parents are waiting until later in life to have kids....and for good reasons! Explain this to him the way you did us...which I'm sure you have! Make a list of the things you want to accomplish first and set reasonal time frames for these things....buying a house (if you don't already have one)...going on a specific vacation...finishing school...I'm not sure what's on your list... Try to accomplish the first one or two priorities...and I think a reasonable time is within 2 yrs of marriage. See if he can compromise on some of this with you! You say he's tired of birth control??? are you talking about condoms? IF so, see your Dr about other BC methods...that might be more enjoyable for him...and that might buy you a little more time! If an accident happens, well, then it was meant to be! If you ultimately do want children in your life, I will say this.....if you wait for the perfect time....it will never come!!
2007-04-02 12:22:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still very young.....You have your life ahead of you!
It's not selfish to want to do things like travelling now. Enjoy your time with your husband- as a couple. (Once children arrive, you have to work hard at having "couple time!")
(There are other ways of birth control. Ask your gynecologist about them and take it from there. )
.................................................
If you feel you are not ready for such a big commitment as a baby, then don't let ANYONE rush you or manipulate you into having one yet.
YOU will know when you are ready to be a mother.
It is your body and it is your life the one that will be totally changed by this tiny creature.
Men can be VERY selfish about this...For them it's easier to just walk away, but we cannot stop being mothers. There is a bond that only death will sever.
Good luck and think about what is right for you!
2007-04-02 12:01:18 · answer #3 · answered by Nena S 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he enjoys having sex with you without screaming in the background. Ask him if he wants the walls of your house to be covered with crayons, if he's ready to stop having friends come over and watch the game or just hang out. Ask him if he's really ready to accept that he will no longer be able to splurge on nice meals or nice new clothes, most of his extra money will be going into a college fund. Ask him if he enjoys sleeping for more than 45 minutes at a time without being interrupted by cries for milk. Ask him if he is ready to accept that he will not have a moments rest or that most (if not, all) of his dreams, issues or ideas will be put on the back burner for for the next 18 years.
Tell him you want children but you want to enjoy your time together first. Enjoy having the flexibility of not needing someone to watch your child if you want to be spontaneous and go on a romantic weekend somewhere.
Besides, 6 months? You're still newlyweds. Enjoy it, enjoy each other.
2007-04-02 12:37:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and see if he will agree to wait until your 1st year anniversary, if that is ok with you. It gives you a little time. In all actuality though you can just say you aren't ready yet and want to wait, he can't force you to have a child yet. They are a lot of work and will put a strain on your marriage. Try finding friends that have kids and let him babysit for a few hours while you are around...it may make him want to wait a little because he will see that he doesn't get much time with you. (make sure they are younger children like between 1 and 4)
2007-04-02 11:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about your concerns and tell him you are not ready. Tell him you want to spend some real quality time with him before you have children. It's a little selfish, but at the same time, if you are not comfortable becoming a mother yet, you should not become pregnant simply to please your husband.
Communication is the key to a great marriage. This is something you really need to talk with him about.
2007-04-02 12:09:23 · answer #6 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My hubby and I have been married for more than a year now and we still don't want any babies yet. You have to really talk to him that you're not ready but also give him re-assurance that you do have plans of having one..say 2 years from now. Honesty and sincerity will do the work for you.
2007-04-02 12:01:13 · answer #7 · answered by Leilyn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him you need to live your life before you take on another. tell him you get to know one another first. the first year or two of marriage can be really tough.once you add kids, it can be that much more difficult. parenthood is a lifetime commitment. you have lots of time for family. but once there here, your life isn't yours anymore.
2007-04-02 11:57:30 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is something that should have been discussed before tying the knot, it is a big topic in married life to have a kid or not have one. there is no half and half on this you either do or don't.
2007-04-02 13:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are things you should have discussed before getting married. Is one of you changing their minds after already discussing it?
2007-04-02 11:56:13 · answer #10 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋