Ok, I recently met a man over the internet, he's a very nice single dad of two very adorable litlle kids 5y old girl and 3yr old little boy. For our first date he invited me "and" my 2 boy 12yrs and 5yrs to come spend the weekend @ his house and he took us to the beach. We all clikcked like puzzle pieces. I feel so strongly about this relationship and he felt it to. Like we were the missing puzzle pieces to his life and his family were the mising puzzles pieces to our lives. My 12yr old totaly accepeted him right away. He came to me monday morning and said mom don't let this one get away. It mad me cry, because for 10yrs he would totaly reject any man other than his fater that I tried to be with. He would go as far as fist fighting with the guys I was with. So 2 have "him" come to me and tell me that is a big thing . I've tried telling my new man this and he says it's because my son is older now. I don't think that is it at all I belive it has everything to do with this new family.
2007-04-02 04:40:48 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Its very hard to date when you have children...so I'm happy that your son likes your "new friend".
Just please do a background check on him first (I don't care how much you trust him). Too many things have "happened", and its important especially since you are bringing your children around him.
Sit back and relax and enjoy what you have. The 2 of you may become a big happy family someday! Good luck!
2007-04-02 04:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by Uh-May-Zing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I am missing the question in this. Personally I think that your first meeting should never have included your children as they are quick to attach and devastated when things break up.
As far as your 12yr old does it really matter why he likes this person or just that he does?
The "new family" comment is a little unnerving as if this is a brand spanking new relationship there is not one as of yet.
I would say tred softly and slowly but it seems that you have already immersed your kids in a relationship that may or may not become a permanent situation.
Perhaps you can explore this new relationship further without involving your kids more and see where it is going to go before they become completely enmeshed with this man.
Remember there is a reason that you are both single with kids. There were problems with both of your prior relationships and there will be problems with any relationship but so long as you both have learned something from them and will not make the same mistakes again it will be a better relationship for you all.
2007-04-02 12:10:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that even though you both have kids from previous relationships that this may very well be your soul-mate. I would listen to your son kids are usually the best judge of character and maybe the other guys you dated were jerks and he saved you from another disaster. Anyways I'm happy for you it seems to me that you guys make each other happy and the kids are also elated in you to seeing each other. I would also side with the guy though as well sometimes when kids get older they see that there mom or parent is sad and lonely and that they need someone to fill that void in there life. Your new guy has sensed this with your kid. This guy sounds nice and if I were you I would just go for it you only live once and you might as well be happy while doing it.
God Bless and Congrats on finding a New Man and a father figure for your kids.
Take things slow but really just reading this I can forsee wedding bells in the near future. So with that I will also say a
congrats on your engagement! YOU SOUND SO HAPPY !
2007-04-02 11:51:52 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son like most kids are very intuitive. I could also simply be that he seen your true happiness, and it grateful to see it in its true form. If both you and this man and all the kids get a long so well, then were is the problem. Obviously don't jump into anything, continue dating and getting to know him on all levels. Time will be the key for you to know if this is truly right or not. Regardless enjoy the happy times that you and your kids get to have. He just maybe the person you need in your life forever or even for a period of time, regardless its apparently a good thing. Enjoy each other all 6 of you.
2007-04-02 11:57:41 · answer #4 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is this your first time seeing him? internet relationships are dangeros! i myself would have never ever took my child to a strangers house because that is what he is, a stranger! you do not know him other than on the internet? you should get to know him first. i am not trying to make you seem like a bad mother or anything, but from a sister to another sister, pretators are out there who will kill you! now, i am glad that it did not turn out fatal, and maybe he is a good guy, and you may have a future with him. but take it slower. get to know the "person" and not the "cyber dude". go on a few more dates and get a fill of each other, "alone" not always with yaw kids. i just fill you guys should get to know eachother first before getting kids involved. and if your son is as protective over you as you say he is, (and that's ok) then that man may not even be worthy to be around your son. his feelings are in this too!!
2007-04-02 12:04:01 · answer #5 · answered by DECADENCE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say that I am a big fan of not letting your kids know anything about your dating life until you are positive that you have the right one. My son's mother has been through 5 or 6 guys since we split up and each time my son is forced to deal with a new guy in his mom's life then has to deal with them leaving. It's really rough on kids.
In any case, good luck with your guy. I hope he is the right one for you.
2007-04-02 11:59:45 · answer #6 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds lovely but please slow down.
Your son is still young and it is you that needs to be in love with this man for the rest of your life if the prospective family of 4 kids is going to be happy.
Take your son's approval as a relief and as a green light to keep exploring the relationship but don't be surprised if he changes his mind again.
Please see more of this man, but the two of you need to invest in spending time together as a couple rather than as a new larger family.
Sounds like a good start but don't forget to put in the work at getting to know each other as individuals.
2007-04-02 11:48:39 · answer #7 · answered by rach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are an amazing judge of character...it would also mean a lot to me for my son to say that! It sounds like there's great potential there...just go with it and take things one day at a tiime! You're new friend probably sees it too, but may be a little scared to admit it at this point! Just let things happen on their own and enjoy every minute of it!!! Congratulations!
2007-04-02 11:50:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might partly be due to your son being a little older. Maybe now he realises his mum needs to be with someone, and he does genuinely like this guy. Maybe also because he's getting older he doesn't feel like he needs his mum's full attention all the time and doesn't mind you having a new friend. He sounds like he'll grow into a really nice boy.
2007-04-02 11:55:24 · answer #9 · answered by finch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WWWOOOOOOAAAAHHHHH!
For your first date you and your children went with him and his children for the weekend? It sounds like your children are already attached to him - what it it doesn't work out? Always wait to make SURE that he's the one for you - months if it takes it, before you introduce him to the kids.
My ex just shoved his cheat-mate into my children's lives, introduced them to all of their family, made them their own room in her house, had them buy suits to the wedding - which was cancelled. They married 3 months later - and it lasted TWO WEEKS. My kids were devestated. They had all this "new family" and they never saw them again.!
2007-04-02 11:53:46 · answer #10 · answered by PapillionWyngs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋